Manzil par pohonch kar kho jana...

Majbur kisi ka ho jana...

In uljhe hue afsano ko, taqdeer hi kehna padta hai...

Shikwe bhi zuba pe aate hain...

Khamoosh bhi rehna padta hai....

In uljhe hue afsano ko, taqdeer hi kehna padta hai...

(uljhe hue afsane = unknown theories)

(taqdeer=destiny)

(Shikwe = complaints)

{poet: I don't know 🙊

Once I listen this from my Mama and I remember it from many years}

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SHIFA'S POV:

What the hell my life is...

Wasn't Faraz's marriage enough to make me broken that Aazam uncle called papa for my proposal for his younger son Kashif...

And who the hell was that Kashif? From where he suddenly drop in my life? I never listened his name and suddenly I got to know that Mr. Faraz Aazam Siddique had a younger brother who lives in Mumbai...

Was my life a game in which any mystery box could be open by anyone at any time? I didn't want to live in the same home as Faraz as his bhabhi...

How it was possible that we saw each other everyday like a Sister-in-law and brother-in-law...

I was determined that If mummy or papa anyone forced me to do Marriage with Kashif then I would jump off from the terrace at midnight when everyone fast asleep. I was also frustrated with my cage... I even couldn't breath properly due to that suffocation of its better to leave a life like that hell.

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We were doing lunch and luckily Rani phuppo was there to enjoy with my pain.

"Faraz is in Maldives" Rani phuppo said and I ignored.

"Why?" Mummy asked confused

"For his honeymoon..." She said with a smile and I passed her the dish of rice without showing any emotions.

"But Aamna's father is very ill.." Mummy said and phuppo shook her head with a smile.

"His operation got successful and he is totally fine now, Aamna's brother gave the ticket to Faraz and Aamna as a gift, because there Marriage was done in hurry.. That's why" Rani phuppo was continuously singing the song of Faraz and Aamna but I was behaving like I didn't have ears to listen anything.

"Bhai Sahab what do you think about Kashif?" Musa uncle said and I suddenly looked up.

"I haven't think anything yet but I don't have any problem." papa was saying that and I was preparing myself to jump off from the Terrace as I knew he wouldn't listen to me.

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I was sitting in my room that was midnight, I slowly open the door of my room and went to courtyard, the sky was looking beautiful as that was the full moon night. I remember the full moon night when I was gazing moon and thinking about Faraz. But shrugging all my thoughts I went to the terrace. I felt a different wave of sensation in my feet with the thought of jumping off. But I took a deep breath and stepped towards the railing.

Why we humans are so much double standard? No matter how much difficult and caged life we are living but we always felt scared to accept the death which give pain only one time unlike the life which gives pain every day.

But that night I was very broken and I didn't had any feelings in myself nor any hope...

I was frustrated with my life, taking a deep breath I stepped on the railing and......

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THREE YEARS LATER...

THIRD PERSON'S POV :

The innocent, poor, naive Shifa died that night.... Her pain was so high that it went away only with the death of a helpless girl...

No one cried on her death maybe she shed all the tears on behalf of everyone in her life but when death of the poor and helpless Shifa was recognised there was a person who was happy from the depth of his heart, but he didn't expressed his happiness.

He was no one else but ANWAR...

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Afifa was sitting in the college auditorium, that was women's day celebrations in the campus. A girl  owner of melodious voice was singing a song

Ghayal parinda hai tu

Dikhla de zinda ha itu  

Baaki hai tujhme hausla...

Tere junoo ke aage

Ambar panaahe maange

Kar daale tu jo

Roothi takdeerein toh kya?

Tooti shamsheerein toh kya?

Tooti shamsheeron se hi..

Hoooooo....

Kar har maidan fateh..

Kar har maidan fateh...

Afifa was remembering the day when Shifa sang the song in her school function...

"Give a big hand to our Talented girl.. Akansha" Afifa also clap for the girl who sang the song just a moment ago.

"After a long time it's happening that our judges are confused in choosing the winner" An announcement was made from the stage, making Afifa remember the day when Shifa sang the song but she didn't win.

"Any guessings who must be the winner?"

"Akanshaaaa..." that was loud shouting and hooting sound from the audience and Afifa felt sad, she grabbed her purse and made her way towards the exit...

Indeed, its difficult for her to tolerate someone else as the best singer, because for her Shifa was best...

"And the winner is..." Afifa wiped her tear which was actually nowhere and lifted her leg to the door.

"Shifaaaaaaaa"

"Whattttt... Shifaaaaa...." Afifa yelled happily and turned to saw the stage, where a girl was standing wearing a peach and black coloured dress holding a big smile on her face

"Shifaaaaaa... Wooooh.." Afifa started hooting like mads and some people were looking at her as if she was come back from mental asylum just then..

But after all she was Afifa she could do anything without any hesitation.

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"Shifooo I want treat..." Afifa said and Shifa checked her purse..

"Not now, I'll give you treat after a week when I'll get my pocket money" Shifa said happily and Afifa hugged her.

"Congratulations again my singing star" Afifa said and Shifa also hugged her friend.

"I love you Shifooo, you are the best" saying that Afifa break the hug and kissed shifa's cheek on which she got a slap on her cheek by Shifa.

"Mene tujhe soo baar kaha hai ye harkate mat kra kar, lekin tujhe samajh hi nhi aata" Shifa said with fake anger and Afifa rolled her eyes.

(I have told you hundred times, not to do these things but why you can't understand?)

"Ye sab main teri bhalai ke liye hi karti hu" Afifa said mischievously

(I'm doing all these things for your betterment)

"Isme meri kya bhalai hai madam?" Shifa asked with confusion and glanced at her mobile for the time

(What's my betterment in this madam?)

"Pagal ladki mujhe ladko se allergy hai na too.... In cheezo se ladko ko lagega ki tu lesbian hai to tujhse dur rahenge"

(odiot... You are allergic to boys and by these deeds boys would think that you are a lesbian and they will stay away from you)

"Ohh.. Hello... Ladko ko dur rakhne ke liye meri chappal kafi hai, mujhe tere kisses nhi chahiye. Wo tu apne paas hi rakh."

(My sandle is enough to make boys away from me, I don't need your kisses for that, keep those with yourself)

saying that Shifa stepped towards the exit of college and Afifa followed her but not before taking two cold coffee from canteen, one for herself and other for Shifa.

"Today's small treat from my side but the bigger one will be from your side." Afifa said and Shifa nodded while sipping her cold coffee which she life very much.

Both happily went out from the college, Shifa was happy for her victory...

Not only in competition but in her life too...

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SHIFA'S POV.....

Hey...

How are you all..

What did you think I jumped off from terrace that night?

Heheheeee...

Actually no...

I didn't had This much courage in myself that I commit suicide... If I had some courage in myself then I would talk to Faraz before his engagement...

But... At this time I don't wanna talk about Faraz.. I wanna talk about I, me and myself...

That night I went to terrace to jump off, I stepped on the railings and peeped down, but I found a problem... Our home was only two storey building, if I would jump from there I must got many fractures and injuries but I won't die.. Most probably...

So I thought what would be the benefit of laying on the bed like a handicapped one for many months or maybe years or whole life, so I left the plan of jumping off... But I went to kitchen and I thought to cut my wrist with a knife then I remember a man who use to live in our neighbour's house, his left hand was dead... Because he once tried to do suicide by cutting his wrist but fortunately or unfortunately his life was safed by doctors but not the life of his hand because the blood vessels were damaged.. I wanted to die at that time but I didn't want to live a life a handicap if I would survive in any case... So I was thinking about different ways to kill myself but then suddenly I remembered one thing...

I had 104° f fever after Faraz's wedding, at that time I was sleeping and feeling something soft on my head and forehead. That was mummy's hands. Mumma use to be awake with me in my fever for whole night and day. I realised that I was not going to kill myself but my mummy too. She was crying for me just in fever but what would she do if I killed myself

But at the same time I couldn't live a life like what I was living... I sat down on stairs of terrace and think for many hours, I spent almost 3 hours in thinking and after that I killed the timid Shifa inside me...

That night the poor, helpless, and timid Shifa died and a confident Shifa took birth. I realised that doing suicide wasn't a prove of bravery but

timidness....

Wanna know what happened with me then...

Wanna know about Faraz, and Kashif..

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To be continued....

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