MARYAM'S POV :

(FLASHBACK)

"Ready?" He asked in the same rudeness ful tone when I was changing Hamdan's clothes and I shook my head.

"I have to give tea to Amma, after that I have to change Shifa's clothes, then I'll get ready" I replied without looking at him and he nodded before sitting down on bed.

"Hamdan I'm going in kitchen, sit here and revise the tables, enough loudly that I can listen your voice in kitchen" ordering Hamdan I turned to go but he shook his head.

"Mummy I'll revise later, now I'm playing with Shifa" He jumped on the bed and sat beside Shifa who was going to cry at any moment.

"Hamdan beta don't be stubborn, I'm listening your table then you will play with Shifa" his father said on which Hamdan nodded, and made my way to the kitchen and got busy in completing all the works.

"Amma tea" Placing the cup on side table I said and she nodded without glancing at me.

"Aapka khana Bana kar rakh diya hai, me abbu ke ghar ja rahi hu" I informed my mother-in-law and got a sharp glare in reply

(I have prepared your lunch and I'm going to my maternal home)

"Ham apni Saas ki Ijazat ke bina khana bhi nhi kha sakte the, magar aaj kal to Ijazat lene ka zamana hi nhi raha, seedha hukam suna do...., Rani aa rahi hai aaj, khana kon banayga? Ek Sunday hi to milta hai use aane ke liye." 

(We don't use to eat without our mother-in-law's permission but now a days there isn't any need to take permission just come and give the order.... Rani is coming today, who will cook for her, she only comes on Sunday)

After nodding on the big lecture I made my way towards the room. It was being a month of our marriage and I never demanded for anything but I really wanted a break from my household duties, not for many days just for few hours.... Rani baji comes every now and then, but couldn't I visit my parents

"Double standard people"

"Maryam" The manly ruthless voice hit my eardrums when I entered in the room.

"Ji (yes)"

"Now get ready soon" I shook my head with down face

"Rani baji is coming I have to cook for her" He think for a moment and nodded.

"Okay then I'm going to park with Hamdan, tell me if there is any need for something to cook." Saying that he made his way out from the room and I was watching the way from he left

'He don't have a heart, his sister is coming that's why I can't go to my home..'

"Hamdan go babu, your papa must be waiting for you I said in hushed tone and sat down on bed taking Shifa in my lap to feed her.

"Mummy"

"Hmm?"

"When will my mummy come back?" Hamdan asked the same question after many days and I just kissed his cheek

"Go Hamdan your papa must be waiting for you, Do you like seesaw?" I asked to divert his mind.

"Yes, but mummy don't like me to go on seesaw, once I fell down from that and my head was bust... After that mummy never allow me to in seesaw, so I like slide." He replied innocently and I nodded with a smile.

"Mummy why aren't you coming with us? Shifa will also play with me in Park" He said and I smiled sadly.

"Babu you go I have some work" saying that I pinched his little chubby cheeks and he smiled

"Hamdan come beta, but first go to meet dadi, she is summoning you" He entered in the room with these words and I covered myself properly as I was feeding shifa

"Go to meet your parents tomorrow, I'll drop you there in the morning when I'll go to drop Hamdan." He said in rude tone and I wanted to argue with him but I stay quite with great difficulty and anger

"Are you listening or not?"

"Yes ofcourse I'm listening" I replied without looking at him

"Do I have another option except listening and following yours and your mother's orders?" I mumbled while grinding my teeth, I was very angry at that time.

"What you have said?" He asked with furrowed brows

"Slaves don't have right to say anything in front of masters" I mumbled in anger and separate Shifa from my frame.

"What are you saying say clearly" He said with full creases on his forehead. At the same time Hamdan entered in the room

"Nothing" Saying that I made myself stand and picked Hamdan's shoes.

"Hamdan wear this and go, your papa is waiting." I made him wore his shoes and he was seems very happy.

"Mummy I'll bring chocolates and ice-cream for Shifa" Hamdan said happily and I nodded without uttering any word.

"Do you want anything? Anything to eat?" I listened his voice and looked at him

'Huh...double standard man, like every man. Are you asking about my choice, what you have to do with my choice or opinion' I said in my heart and went to washroom to wash my hands. Coming out from the washroom my gaze went to the hanger on which my ironed clothes were handing, which gave me another reason to boil my blood. Grabbing the hanger I pulled the clothes out and put them in the cupboard after folding them messily.

"Dulhan..."

"Ji Amma coming" I yelled and looked at Shifa who was rolling in bed, I went to that side to place pillows around her, so that she won't fell down

"Dulhan... I summoned you" This time the order was quit rude.

"Yeah.. Coming Amma" I yelled but my eyes filled up with tears, and I sat down on bed looking at my daughter, except night time I rarely spend some time with her, leaning down to her I pecked her forehead and cheek

"Anwar... Where is your wife? Is she become deaf?"

"Not Anwar's wife but Anwar and his mother's maid" mumbling that I went out from the room while wiping my tears.

"Yeah Amma"

"Is this took too much time?" I preferred to stay quiet

"Amma I'm going" I looked at the source of voice and he was standing behind me holding Hamdan's hand.

"Hamdan come here beta" Amma summoned him and kissed his cheek when he came to her.

"Mera achha beta (my good boy), go and take care, don't go anywhere without informing your Papa" Amma was giving advises to Hamdan and I was looking at his father who was busy in smiling watching his son.

"Shall we leave now?" He asked and Amma nodded

I spent whole day working in kitchen because Rani baji and her tantrums were uncountable. I wanted to mix extra salt and pepper in food for both of them but I stopped myself as I know I would have to cook again so I decided to do mercy on myself and cook the best food which I could so that I didn't had to cook again.

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Switching off the light I lay down to sleep he wasn't returned yet, his mother gave him lecture every night and sometimes he became rude after listening that lecture. I was waiting for him because I had to give him tea but since I was very tired, taking Shifa in my embrace I didn't realised when sleep consumed me.

"Maryam"

"Maryam" I open my eyes and he was sitting in front of me

"Ji" I mumbled and closed my eyes again.

"Make me tea" I opened my eyes on same ruthless order and looked at the clock, that was midnight half past twelve, but I nodded and made my way to kitchen. When I came back with two cups of tea he was sitting on bed holding the photo frame in his hands and watching that photo, his eyes were bloodshot.

"Tea" I mumbled and placed the tray on side table, in this one month I become use to of my night tea with him, no matter how much ful I was but if I wouldn't have my tea with him it seems that something was missing.

"Maryam"

"Ji"

"Keep it somewhere, where I wouldn't get it again" passing the photo frame he said and I looked at him with amazement, he kept that in locker many times but every next day he drew that out.

"What will be the benefit of this?" I mumbled while holding the frame.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing" saying that I made myself stand and placed the frame on his study table.

Picking the cup of tea I moved towards my side of bed but I stopped in between when

"Sit" He ordered me and I sat down in front of him, he was sitting with crossed legs and I was sitting silently without looking at him.

"Why were you angry today? Rahi is my only sister can't she can't she come here?" His voice was full of rudeness and I just nodded

"What is the meaning of this nod?" a ruthless question

"Nhi kuch nhi, mera matlab tha, ki woh kabhi bhi aa sakti hain.. Aakhir mayka hai unka, har ladki ko haq hota hai apne maa baap ke ghar Jane ka" I said and he glared me, which gave me a different fear in my heart

(Nothing, I just ment that she can come here at anytime, after all it's her maternal home. Every girl have right to go to her home)

"Kal se tumhari zuban kuch zyada nhi chal rahi?" He said still glaring me and I gulped on his tone.

(Don't you think you are talking so much since yesterday)

I stay silent while looking at the cup of tea which I was holding in my hands

"have it, its turning cold" Sipping his tea he said and also sipped that.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked in hushed tone after picking the empty cup of tea I asked and he shook his head.

I sat down beside Shifa she was looking pale, I wasn't giving her the care which she needed as a toddler, leaning towards her I caressed her head and kissed her cheek.

"My baby... My little doll" I mumbled and kissed her cheek again.

"Sleep now!! You must be tired" I listened the voice and looked at him.

"I'm not sleepy" I lied in front of him and spent many hours only in watching my little doll I didn't realise when sleep consumed me.

I entered in Aatish's room with cat steps and he was sleeping, going towards him I sat down beside him and held his hand

"Aatish, Aatish.." I shook his hand and he open his eyes.

"Why you come here?"

"I'll not go anywhere, you are my husband and I love you, I'll only live with you Aatish" I said and he sat down on bed.

"Rose go in your room" He ordered but I hugged him.

"Think about our child, won't you feel happy when he will call you papa Or daddy?"

"Rose don't make everything more difficult for me and go from here" saying that he pushed me away and I hugged him back.

"Please Aatish... I.. I can't live without you, you are my husband"

"Rose go yaar let me sleep"

"How can you sleep leaving me in this condition?" He turned his head to other side.

"Aatish... Aatish.. Listen to me Aatish"

"Maryam.., Maryam wake up" I listened a voice and opened my eyes he was sitting beside me. I sat down with a jolt and wiped my tears and forehead with the corner of my dupatta but the tears again came out from the eyes.

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To be continued......

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_Naaz Jamal