33.

"Aatish.., Aatish please na.. You know na I don't have anyone except you in this world. Please don't be offended with me. I can't live without you" Even after that much big speech Aatish was silent and I was clueless about the reason. He went to bathroom and came out after some fifteen minutes..

IN the time being I Arranged food for both of us, and he sat down and I took my seat beside him. I was swerving him and he was looking at me without blinking. Feeling his gaze on myself I looked at him and a smile creeped to my lips.

"I love you" I whispered and kissed his cheek, but he suddenly moved back as if I wasn't his wife but another lady who was doing a sin.

"Please don't do all these things" He said and I was confused about what was cooking IN his head.

"What do you mean Aatish?" I asked but didn't got any reply from him. He started having his dinner as I did so but his silence was giving a commotion to my heart and mind. After done with dinner he sat down on bed with dangling legs, his both elbows were placed on either knees, and he was holding his head with both hands. I was feeling bad for him because I was thinking that he was going through many difficulties, But I wasn't aware of what difficulties he was going to give me in some minutes.

After placing the empty dishes in kitchen I locked the door and stepped towards him.

"Don't think too much, anyhow we are managing, you will get the job soon and we will be happy then." sitting beside him I said while giving him side hug, but he was still in the same position. His face was still covered with his palms.

"Maryam don't talk about anything, I'm not in mood to listen anything" he said with frustration and I opened my mouth to give him a reply but I stopped myself because I didn't wanted any argument I wanted to sort out the hidden matters between us.

"Okay I'm not talking about anything" I whispered while removing his hands from his face and he looked at me. Leaning towards him I slowly kissed his left cheek and he shutted his eyes tightly while fisting his hands, before I could move towards his right cheek he held my both shoulders and maintained the distance between both of us.

"Its over... There isn't any space for all these things between us." He said without making eye contact with me

"What are you saying Aatish? What do you me-an" I felt a different fear in my whole frame.

"Main.. Main tumhe talaq deta hu"

(I... I give you divorce)

I was numb for a moment, unwillingly tears dropped off my eyes. I felt my hands turned cold, and my soul was snatched from my frame, my heart beat was uneven.

"Main tumh.." I putted my hand on his mouth and didn't let him say anything further.

(I give yu...)

"Please.... Please no Aatish... Please.. No... What are you doing?" I cried while pressing his mouth tightly and closed his eyes for a while. But was still in disbelief what he was going to do

"Please Aatish.." I again pleaded but he opened his eyes and grabbed my wrist to remove my hand from his mouth.

"Main tumhe talaq deta hu"

(I give you divorce)

"No Aatish... Please...Nooo." I yelled loudly while standing up and ran towards the stairs. I didn't got anything to do at that time. My dupatta which was hanging on my right shoulder fell down on stairs, I picked that and ran towards the room of his parents while placing that on both shoulders

"open the door... Open the door" I banged that badly and then I banged the door of his brother's room.

"What happened?" his brother open the door in half sleepy way and I joined my hands in front of him. In the time being Aatish's parents and bhabhi also come out and Aatish also came downstairs.

"Bhai... Please... Stop him... What is he doing" I jointed my hands in front of his brother but he was looking confused.

"Ammi... Baba... You are like my Ammi abbu, please you stop him... He is giving me divorce" I held his mother's feet while crying, and when I looked up I found a satisfying expression on her face.

"Aatish tu Pagal ho gaya hai?" his brother yelled on him and I scoot towards his brother. I looked at Aatish he was standing in the corner without any expression on his face

(Aatish are you out of your mind...)

"Bhai please, bhai stop him.... Bhabhi... Please... You say something..." I was pleading in front of both while crying and joining my palms when..

"Main... Main tumhe.."

(I... I.. give)

"Aatishhhh... No" I yelled as loudly as I could and he stopped in between I scoot towards him and held his hand

"Aatish... Aatish... Please... For Allah's sake... Please.." I held his hand very tightly but he freed his hand.

"Aatish don't be a fool! It's not a..." I turned to saw the owner of that voice he was Aatish's brother, but before he complete his sentence

"Main tumhe Talaq deta hu" He slapped me with third divorce and I turned to saw him.

(I give you divorce)

In few moments he finished everything... I was numb, there were no tears in my eyes. My heart which was beating with thunder speed before a few moments stopped working for a moment and I forgot everything. I was standing watching him continuously

"Aatish what are you doing?" his brother asked and I realized about the reality, slowly turning towards him I saw an angry expression on his face

"This was the third one..." I mumbled looking at Aatish's brother and my eyes again dropped tears. I couldn't held my weight and fell down on my knees. I again looked at Aatish he was looking at me without blinking.

"What you have done Aatish?" I mumbled and he stepped towards stairs, leaving me helpless. I sat down on floor resting my head with wall and cried out loudly.

"Aatishhhh..." I shouted loudly while crying "Why you.... have done so?" this time my voice didn't came out from my throat, I just Mumbled looking at the stairs. I looked at his parents who were standing silently but holding a smile on their faces and his brother and bhabi was looking shocked. I was sitting in the same corner for more ten minutes then his parents went back to their room but his bhai bhabhi was standing there.

"Allah.. Please.. Its a nightmare" I mumbled and patted my cheek to be awake. "Allah.. Please... Please.. Prove me correct that its a nightmare" I was mumbling the same while slapping my cheeks harder as compared to the last one every time but I wasn't coming out of my slumber or maybe I wasn't accepted the reality.

"Stop doing this... It's not a dream" I listened a voice and someone hugged me. Then I realised the same, she was bhabhi

"Why its not a dream... Why.... How can Aatish do this..." I cried out and his bhabhi keep caressing my back she was crying silently with me.

"Zehra made her drink water" I looked up he was Aatish's brother who was standing near us holding a glass of water. Bhabhi made me drink water and I keep crying

.........................

I was sitting near the door resting my back with the wall. I was crying for whole night and Aatish was upstairs for whole night. I don't know whether he was thinking about what he had done or just sleeping peacefully?

"Have breakfast" his brother said and I looked at him with lots of questions in my eyes..

How could he say that when my whole life was upside down? How could I consume anything?

Aatish's parents came to dining table and bhabhi served them breakfast but I was still sitting like a lifeless frame. After sometime Aatish stepped down from the stairs. He was wearing formal clothes, his wet hair were spread on his forehead but his eyes were looking Red. We both were watching each other without blinking. I was crying with hiccups but my tears were not coming out from my eyes, and he was standing on the first step holding staircase but he was the first who averted his eyes and moved towards dining table. Only Aatish's parents were busy in feeding themselves both the brothers were sitting silently and bhabhi was watching me.

"Aatish..." I pronounced his name and everyone looked at me suddenly.

"Aatish..." I didn't had words to say anything but I don't know why I was trying to held a conversation between us?

"Aatish go and throw this girl out from home, I don't wanna see her face for a single moment" I lifted my gaze to saw the owner of this harsh voice. Who else....

His father....

"Aatish aren't you listening what I'm saying? Kick her out from my home" his father said and Aatish made himself stand and steeped towards me but he stopped a step away from me.

"Where will I go Aatish?" I asked in hushed tone and my dried eyes dropped two tears.

"Why you did..." I was asking while crying "Rose.." He muttered but he didn't wait for me to complete my sentance, he wore his sunglasses and very next moment I listened the sound of starting bike.

With shivering legs I made myself stand and moved towards the stairs, but fell down in between because I didn't had any energy left in my frame. No one came forward to made me stand. I again made myself stand and stepped towards the room, packed my clothes and stuff then went to downstairs because I knew after sometime Aatish's parents will literally push me out from their home, so I chose to save my leftover dignity and respect by leaving their home by myself instead of waiting for them to perform that task.

"Where are taking all these things?" I listened his mother's voice and turned to saw her.

"What is in this beg?" she asked as if his son was the billionaire and I was taking away all his money in my small handbag.

"My clothes" I replied while wiping my tears

"Show me, is there anything important" she crossed every limit and I placed the bag in front of her, unzipped that and drew out my diary and a photo album, which had my and Aatish's photographs.

"These are all clothes, nothing else" I muttered and took steps towards the exit. I did not need those clothes anymore.

"Ammi what are you doing? You know very well about the condition of Aatish what must be expensive or important in her bag?" I listened a sorrowful voice but I didn't turned to saw the owner.

"Where are you going?" when I took steps towards left side I listened a manly voice and I turned, he was Aatish's brother

"I.. I don't know?" with these words I stepped ahead and he again stopped me

"But your home is in that direction" he pointed towards the opposite direction and I nodded while wiping tears

"How can I go to my home? Abbu was correct Aatish is not a...." I didn't had courage to talk further.

"Then where will you go?"

"There is a NGO near our college" I said and he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Go to your home. Do you have any idea about the reality of these NGO's and all... Go directly to your home" He ordered me and I looked at his face. I didn't found any reason to say no to him and I nodded while turning my direction to go. I didn't had money to go to my home so bhai pay to an auto to dropped me to my home.

With shivering hands I rang the bell.

"Razi... Beta he must me milkman" I listened Ammi's voice and after some two minutes the door was opened by my 15 year old brother. He was holding a utensil In his hand.

"Aapi" he was shocked to saw me... Why are you crying?" He asked me but I was silently crying resting my head on the side of door

"Come in" He said and I stepped in while wiping tears.

"Ammi... Abbu.. Ammi.." Razi took long steps and I followed him silently with baby steps.

"What happened Razi?" I listened Abbu's voice and I stay on the doorway of living room where abbu was sitting.

"Abbu... Aapi.." He said and Abbu looked at the direction where I was standing.

"Maryam.." A whispered left from his mouth and he stepped towards me.

"Abbu..." I fell down on my knees and Ammi also come out from the kitchen

"Ammi... Abbu.." I cried and Ammi looked at me

"Aatish... Aatish has divorced me..." I said and Ammi was shocked, the cup of tea which she was holding in her hands fell down from her hand. And abbu couldn't held himself, and sat down on the nearby chair.

================

Heart breaking...

Right...

But truth of many women's life's...

These three words can make the of a woman upside down in single moment.

I'm not going to ask how it is..

Because I know the answer...

I was crying while writing this

I don't know how the women face

this thing...

May Allah never let us face anything like this...

Aameen

_Naaz Jamal