SHIFA'S POV:

I opened my school bag and drew out both the diaries and looked at the dates written on that. I picked the diary which had older dates and placed the other one in my cupboard.

Opening the diary I placed that on the bed and lay down on my stomach lifting my head on my both plams placing both elbows on mattress.

(Diary reading:)

I'm so happy today, after all I celebrated my 18th birthday and I got many gifts from my lovely Abbu and Ammi.

I'm so much glad that I have everything in my life. My lovely parents, a 4 years younger brother and my cute Maham who is only 10 but so wise.

All my friends in school and neighbouring homes are jealous of me because of the freedom I'm getting from Abbu. He never stop me to do anything, I can do whatever I want to.

Unlike all my friends Abbu allowed me to continue my education. Such a great favour I have got from my almighty in the form of my family.

Not only family but Aa...

(Diary reading over)

''Oh nooo tomorrow is Hindi test in school. Prachi ma'am will kill me" I suddenly remembered about the test and closed the diary.

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Next day in school:

"That's it for today" Sir said and we all took a relief breath, after giving tons of homework he left the class.

"Tumko dekha to ye khayal aaya..

Zindagi dhoop tum ghanaa sayaa..."

I bust into laughter when I listened the song and turned to the source of voice.

"Yaseen" I said while suppressing my smile.

"Shifa do you like this song?" He asked like a mad, Afifa and me shared a look and bust into laud guffaw because he was sounding like a donkey while singing.

"Yaseen please please I'm begging, don't sing this song again otherwise I'll murder you. How horribly you are singing" I glared Affi who was saying all these things to Yaseen. The topper boy of our class.

Ohh I forget to told you about my Affi/Affo... Affi means my Afifa.. My best friend and my partner in...

Not crime but scoldings.. Which we get from my elder brother 'Hamdan bhai'..

Now come back to the topic...

"shut up Affo" I whispered widing my eyes

"What shut up? I'm saying the truth. Yaseen never sing any song, dude singers will commit suicide if they got to know that you are doing postmortem of their famous songs. That too in the wildest way" Affi said loudly and whole class made fun of Yaseen.

"Affi, are you mad? How can you say like this?" I asked In whispered but in scolding way

"Shifa I can say this type of things with the help of my mouth. You too try to use the little piece of Muscle which Allah give us to speek. Which is called tongue" Affi said in a single breath and pulled her tongue out to tease me.

"Affi it's not good to say like this." I scolded Affi but she was unaffected as usual "Yaseen no one is perfect. You do practice and you will be a good singer one day" I Said Yaseen and he smiled, then I turned to saw the front and started doing my homework so that I can get more free time in home.

"You know yesterday I made tea for daddy and that was soooo" Affi was saying and I didn't let her complete

"So good!" I said happily and she shook her head

"No yaar, that was soo horrible. But daddy said I made that so he consumed that happily" Affi said and I smiled.

=============

"Bilal what are you doing here?" I asked when I saw him standing with some seniors.

"Bye Shifoo"

"Bye Affi" we both waved hands for saying good bye, Affi went towards her bus and I went to Bilal

"How are you Shifa?" a senior boy asked and I didn't know who was he? And how he knew my name.

"let's go Bilal" I grabbed Bilal's wrist and pulled her with me.

"Why were you talking to that guy?" I asked, because I didn't liked that boys.

"Aapi he was Sameer bhai and Rohail bhai. They both are in class tenth" Bilal informed me and I nodded

"Billu don't talk to those boys. I don't like them" I said and Bilal shook his head.

"They are very good boys." Bilal defended them and I nodded because I wasn't interested in discussing them

We reached home and mummy was as usually in kitchen.

"Hamdan bhai" Bilal yelled going towards him

"Hamdan Bhai, Sameer bhai and Rohail bhai wished you good luck for exams" Bilal said and I was amazed they both know Hamdan bhai.

============

In evening :

THIRD PERSON'S POV:

"Bilal.. Hamdan papa is home" Maryam yelled

"Coming papaaa.." Bilal ran towards the living room happily and Shifa followed him, Hamdan also join in living room when Maryam was giving water to her husband.

"Papa have you bought new football for me?" Bilal asked happily and his father nodded.

"Is this possible that if my children ask something from their papa and they don't get it"

"My papa is best papa in the world." Bilal said happily and hugged his father.

Shifa looked at the scene, in which Bilal was hugging his father and Hamdan was sitting beside him. She made her way towards the kitchen holding a smile.

"Papa" He looked at Shifa and she passed a cup of tea to her father

"I don't like to have tea in evening" He replied and again focused on Hamdan who was talking about his future plans to go out of town for higher studies.

"Papa I learn to make tea for you" Shifa said happily to her father.

"Chhoti si Bachchi hai, usne itne pyaar se banai hai, le lijiye na" Maryam said in requesting way and got a sharp gaze in reply.

(she is very young, but still she did efforts for you. Please have it)

"Maryam you know very well, I don't like to have tea at this time. And she is not that much small child that she didn't understand such a small thing" He said loudly and Shifa looked at her mother, still holding the saucer and cup of tea in her hands, she got tears in her eyes.

"Shifa give it to me, I'll have the tea which my princess has made" Maryam said while going towards Shifa and held the cup of tea from her hands.

"No its okay mummy, I'll have it by myself." Shifa said in hushed tone and marched towards her room holding cup of tea in her hands and crystal like tears in her eyes.

"Papa Shifa made tea for you why you haven't have it" Hamdan asked

"What is the fault of this girl?" Maryam asked with disappointment but in lower voice and marched towards shifa's room

"What my princess is doing?" Maryam asked while stepping in the room, she was crying silently.

"Shifa..."

"Shifaaa my baby, why are you crying beta" Embracing shifa in her arms Maryam asked.

"Mummy why papa don't love me like Bilal and Hamdan bhai" Shifa asked and Maryam kissed her head

"He loves you beta, papa loves you very much" Maryam said while caressing shifa's head, but both mother and daughter had tears in their eyes

"I'm here naaa.. Your mumma. You are most important for your mumma. Now stop crying. I don't like my doll in this state" Maryam said to Shifa after wiping her tears and smiled.

"Now go and wash your face, I'm serving dinner and as I promised I have make biryani for my baby" Maryam said and Shifa nodded happily.

"I love you mumma" Shifa said after hugging her mother and Maryam kissed her head with tear filled eyes.

"My good girl" breaking the hug Maryam said and made herself stand.

"Come fast and have your Biryani, otherwise your brother will not leave a single bite for you" Maryam said and left Shifa alone in the room.

SHIFA'S POV :

After having dinner I wasn't feeling well, I glanced at the clock and found 9:30.

"Bilal.. Hamdan bhai" I entered their room and sat down on bed.

"Shifa are you fine?" Hamdan bhai asked and I shook my head

"Bhai I'm not feeling well, it seems I'm going to have fever. I said the truth, I always sense a different kind of headache and back pain before fever.

"Nothing going to happen, don't think too much" Hamdan bhai said after checking my temperature with his fingers.

"Aapi come I'll press your head'' Bilal said and I smiled

"I don't want any head massage."

"See Hamdan bhai she is fine just trying to gain our attention" Bilal said teasingly and I throw the pillow on him.

"Billu you are very... " I was saying while glaring him but he didn't let me complete

"Nice, kind, intelligent and...'' this time I didn't let him complete

"No you are just a donkey '' saying that I made my way to the exit of room.

"Meri pyaaariiiiii aapiiii... Meri behen... Meri ideal" I was confused why he was doing all those things while hugging me.

(My dear aapi, my lovely sister, my ideal)

"What?? Why are you doing all these things?" I asked after huffing when he pulled my both cheeks.

"Are you my lovely sister or not?" He asked and I nodded happily

''I'm just like you! My elder sister, your younger brother is just like you, Miss Donkey" He said and I glared him and smacked his back of head with my hand.

"Now come to me for your projects and homework, then I will tell you the real meaning to donkey" I said and left from there.

"Jangli" mumbling the same I entered in my room and throw myself on bed I was feeling so much tired that I hardly took a few moments to consumed by sleep

(uncivilized)

And I felt very cold I open my eyes and looked at clock which was showing 4:45 of morning I pulled the duet on me and tried to sleep again but I was shivering with chills.

"Mummyyyy" I call her with all my courage but my voice didn't come out from my throat after three more fail attempts I gave up and I was again consumed by slumber

I again opened my eyes and this time clock was showing fifteen to six of morning I tried to made myself stand and after few attempts I got success in same.

"Mummy" I mumbled and took slow steps towards her bedroom with the support of wall.

"Papa, mummy" I opened the door of room and entered in.

Papa was sitting on bed with folded legs reading newspaper and mummy was neither in the room nor in kitchen

"Shifa you are not a small child, knock before coming in the room" He scolded me but I didn't had ability to say anything going towards the bed I don't know how I fell on bed and my head was on Papa's thigh.

"Mummy..." I mumbled and papa patted my cheek.

"Shifaaa.. Shifaaa.. You have fever" papa again patted my cheek and I opened my eyes.

"Mumma" I mumbled

''Maryaaam.. Maryam come fast" papa yelled and I looked up. He folded the newspaper which he was holding and mummy stepped out from the bathroom, her hair were muffled up in towel

"Shifa, Shifa... What happened to her?" Mummy asked in panic and stepped towards me.

"Papa" I saw him after lifting my head and he just hummed.

"Headache" I cried and he looked at mummy.

"Maryam" Papa gestured towards me and mummy sat beside me shifting my head in her lap.

"What happened to my baby?" she mumbled while caressing my head and I looked at her than papa.

"Suniye please take her to doctor" Mummy said and he nodded.

Mummy papa took me to the emergency ward of a hospital and we came back to home around 8 AM.

"Maryam I'm going to office, make breakfast for me" Papa said when mummy was sponging my forehead with wet cloth.

"She has very high fever" Mummy said after changing the wet cloth from my head.

"Maryam, she will be fine, you have already give her medicine" I looked at him trying to hold my eyelids but they were very heavy.

"Bilal.. Bilal" Mummy yelled and he came inside the room.

"Yeah mummy"

"Beta sponge aapi's forehead I have to make breakfast" Mummy said and Bilal took charge of same.

"After some time papa came inside the room, I was in his bedroom. He glanced at me then Bilal.

"Bilal beta you have to study for exams, you should focus on that. Today you missed your school but study in home. Go, do your breakfast and then study" papa ordered him and he left from there.

"Papa" I looked at him and mummy also entered the room.

"Papa" I again mumbled

"Hmm" He was busy in wearing his wrist watch.

"Don't go... Please" I said after holding his hand which he lifted towards me to check my temperature.

"I'm getting late for office." He said to me and turned to mummy.

"Allah Hafiz" He mouthed while quickly cupping mummy's cheek with one hand and she nodded without uttering any word.

"Mummy why papa never talk to me? Just because I'm a girl! He love boys and I'm a girl..!!" I said and mummy sat beside me

"Nothing like that, when you were small your papa play with you for whole day and night. He brings many things for you" Mummy said and I closed my eyes.

"Mummy why papa don't love me now?" I asked in whisper

"He loves you, but he don't show. He is becoming old with time that's why he is becoming so much sincere" Mummy said and pecked my cheek.

"Now sleep" She said and started massaging my hair. Soon I was consumed my the sleep and when I opened my eyes Hamdan bhai was sitting beside me. Changing the wet cloth from my forehead

"How are you?"

"Bhai Did papa called?" I asked and he shook his head.

This is the worst pain of life when you have a relationship but you don't have love in that. I always crave for papa's sweet words but I never got a single one.

"Mummy why papa haven't call, just to talk to me?" I asked and she was silent

"He call beta,.. He was asking to talk to you but you were sleeping" Mummy made an false excuse and I closed my eyes, I already knew he don't love me because I'm a girl. Not a boy like his other two boys.

But for the time I felt anger towards papa.

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I know it's Something which would be undigestable for many people but life is not a piece of cake, it serves you lemons..

Not only lemons but rotten one so that you can't make even lemonade from that.

Please continue reading because Many twists and turns are waiting there for you.

_Naaz Jamal