MARYAM'S POV

(Flashback)

"Maryam are you ready? They people mus..." Ammi entered in the room with these words but stopped in between when saw me sitting on the bed holding Shifa closer to my heart and crying silently with tears. I kissed the cheek of my daughter and lifted my head to saw Ammi .

"Go and get ready, they people must be coming in some half an hour for nikkah" Ammi said while coming towards me and extend her hands to held Shifa but I didn't hand over my daughter.

"I.. I'll be ready in ten minutes" I mumbled and Ammi left the room.

"Will that man love my daughter as his own?" I asked in my heart and looked at shifa who was sleeping in my arms, wearing a red romper she was looking more cute. After some five minutes I made Shifa lay down on bed, placed two pillows on her either side and made my way towards the bathroom holding a red coloured suit which had nominal stone and thread work, which wasn't looking like a attire of a bride.

After taking shower I wore that clothes. I didn't wanted to get ready. When I wanted to be groomed as a bride at that time I didn't even wore a red dupatta and then when I didn't want to get dressed for that man, my destiny was playing with the strings of my heart.

I steeped out from the bathroom and found Maham sitting on the bed playing with Shifa who was awake by then and moving her chubby hands and legs in air

"Maryam aapi will you take Shifa with you" Maham asked innocently and I held her tears and shook my head.

"It means Shifa will live with us?" Maham asked happily and I nodded, but this time I couldn't control my tears which rolled down from my eyes.

"Shifa will live with you for some days, then I'll come to take her back with me." I informed Maham and she smiled happily and picked Shifa in her arms before kissing her cheek . I didn't wanted to leave my daughter for a single day, but Ammi said that for at least a week she will not send Shifa with me.

"Aapi when will she start to talk, I wanna play with her and talk to her" Maham asked and I sat beside her on the bed. I looked at Shifa and Maham both were looking so much innocent I kissed the cheeks of both girls and smiled when witnessed my daughter jumping to come towards me

"My little baby" saying that I embraced her at the same time I heard a knock on the door of room.

"Maryam aapi, Ammi is asking if you are ready or not they people are arrived" That was Razi.

"Shifaaaa... Come here" Razi said in childish tone while extending his arms towards Shifa and she went to him. Shifa use to stay with Others more than me, she was the fisrt baby in front of my siblings and first grand-child of my parents so she was an apple of every eye. After giving Shifa to Razi I comb my hair and tied that in a simple Braid before covering head with dupatta then sat down on the edge of the bed thinking about the new turn of my life and destiny. In some time my Abbu entered in my room after a knock along with Razi who was still carrying Shifa in his left arm, some of my uncles and Qazi Sahab.

"Bismillah karen" Abbu said in hushed tone and I remember my first nikkah

(Start it)

"Do you Maryam daughter of Sabir......" Qazi sahab was asking about the permission and I was remembering the same words which listened in the past. Then my mind remembered one more thing...

"Main tumhe Talaq deta hu"

(I give you divorce)

" Qubul hai"

(I accept)

"Do you Maryam daughter....." I was listening the voice of but my mind was echoing with a loud voice

"Main tumhe Talaq deta hu"

(I give you divorce)

"Qubul hai ''

(I accept)

And third and last time Qazi sahab asked for nikkah permission and I accepted an unknown man as my husband with tear filled eyes, except his name I didn't know anything about him. I only knew his name was Anwar and I was expecting goodness from him. I wiped my tears with the hankey which I was holding in my fist but fresh tears again pooped out from my eyes and I listen a squall that was shifa's voice. I took her from Razi and tried to hush her but she was crying constantly. Everyone left me alone in the room and I was struggling to make my daughter off cry.

"Shifaaaa... My baby please.. Please.. Cry this much, don't make it more difficult for me to left you here" I Said while holding her more tightly, close to my heart... We both mother daughter were crying. Shifa was crying loudly and I was crying silently but with hiccups.

"Maryam... Maryam stop crying" Ammi entered in the room and I looked at her. Stopping myself to cry was impossible for me at that time.

"Ammi.. You will take care of my shifa. Right?" I asked in between my hiccups and Ammi also cried with me while taking Shifa to her embrace. She called Razi and give Shifa to him.

"Now stop crying, this is all because of you and your stubbornness" Ammi said with disappointment and I was shameful in from of her

"I'm sorry, forgive me" I said and she wiped her tears

"Get ready, everyone is doing dinner after that, it will be farewell"

"I'm ready" I said but Ammi ordered me to do makeup and I did so, she asked me for dinner but I didn't eat because I wasn't feeling hungry. In just nineteen months and twenty five days I was wedded again. I wanted to hate Aatish but when ever his name or his thoughts were coming in my mind it was just giving me pain and sorrow for my wrong decision but that wrong decision gave me a beautiful reason for my smile

None other than my doll, my Shifa...

I was sitting holding my tears when Razi came in the room and handed over Shifa to me and I keep sitting with my sleeping daughter, kissing her cheeks every now, until she was took away from my arms by Ammi because that was the time of my second farewell, which was more painfully than first one. Abbu told me clearly that he didn't wanted to talk to ever.

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I looked at the room where I was sitting on the bed. The room was well furnished but since the wedding was not like a wedding so the room was not decorated for wedding purpose, Thankfully....  Running my gaze everywhere I found a photo frame on side table. I picked the photo frame and saw the pic. That was a family photo in which a man was sitting with a small boy in his lap was kissing on his mother's cheek and his father was kissing his son's cheek. I was witnessing the happiness of that small family when the same man of picture entered in the room and I suddenly put back the photo frame on side table. He was the owner of good face but I felt scared with the loud step of that hunk man.

"She was my wife Saba" He said looking towards the side table where the picture was telling a story. He took a small pause after that he again started talking

"She was the most important lady for me in this world after my mother and I only marry with you because of my son. You have to take care of him just like a real mother, not a step mother. If I witness your any unpleasant behaviour towards my son then you will be in your father's home very next day. Mind my words I'm not the one who give false threats" I was listening everything with lower gaze and nodding but on the last sentence I looked up suddenly and unwillingly my eyes pooled up with tears because I remembered myself pleading and begging in front of Aatish and his parents.

I again lower my gaze and two tears dropped from my eyes.

"And one more thing." He was going out from the room but stopped after saying that and I again lifted my gaze to saw him.

"I know everything about you and your love story with your ex-husband, remember one thing, now you are my wife and I will never tolerate anything odd like you have done in your past." That man who was my husband by then, squidged my heart under his heel.

"Got it?" He asked to confirm and I lifted my gaze towards him and nodded slowly, and wiped my tears suddenly with my fingers.

"No need to cry. I'm telling all these things first and last time. Do remember all these things, I also don't want to repeat it. nor I like to repeat myself again and again" He added and I again nodded then he left the room. And I closed my eyes to flow down the tears which were blurring my vision.

"Do husbands have a weapon in the form of divorce against his wife?" I mumbled and tried to stop my tears and in the time being he again entered in the room carrying a boy in his left arm and made him lay down on bed beside me. The boy was sleeping.

"He is my son, Hamdan." I nodded and looked at the boy he had tear marks on his cheeks, it seems he was crying before sleeping. I was keep watching that boy and his father went to bathroom.

"I can't love someone's child like my own... Or can I do?" I questioned to myself but I was answerless

"Tomorrow is his off but from day after tomorrow he has school and you have to make him ready for that" I looked up to the owner of manly voice nodded while bowing my head down a little.

He law down beside his son taking him in his embrace, kissing his head and cheek every now and then. Soon he slept and I was missing my Shifa, I was thinking about her. I didn't know how everyone will handle her because she was mostly dependent on breastfeeding.

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"who are you?" Hamdan asked me, then lifted his gaze to his father when he woke up Next morning and witnessed me sitting on the bed.

"I.. I'm.." I didn't have any relationship to introduce myself.

"Papa is mummy come back? You have said she will come today?" the boy hurriedly and I felt bad for him.

"She is your mummy" The father said to his son pointing towards me and I felt a pang in my heart.

"Where is mummy?" He asked stubbornly

"Hamdan beta she is your new mummy, she will make burger for you, you like burger. right?"

"No she is not my mummy, where is my mummy.... Papa mujhe mummy ke paas jana hai.. (I wanna go to mummy)" the boy was crying repeating his last line again and again and I was feeling his pain.

"Hamdan beta, papa is here with you... Beta mummy has an important work so she send her for you" his father embraced the little boy and I was keep watching the whole scene silently.

I witnessed the whole scene for more than half an hour and I was really feeling bad for that little boy.

After that Hamdan was still crying but his father left him in the room after glancing the photo which was on the side table. And I witnessed a different pain in his eyes. The same pain which I had in my eyes when Aatish divorced me.

"Hamdan, come here. Why are you crying?" I asked him very politely and he stopped crying just for a few moments

"I wanna go to my mummy.. Call her... Or Send me to her... I wanna go to my mummy" He was crying stubbornly and I held his both hands and kissed his cheek.

"Now stop crying and listen to me." He didn't stopped crying ''You wanna meet your mummy. Right?" I asked and this time he immediately stopped crying before nodding abruptly.

"Will you take my mummy back? Papa is not taking her back?" That was the most uneasy and painful question which was wrapped in the sheet of innocence

"You are a good boy. Are You or not?" I asked and he nodded his head while wiping his tears with his small hands.

"Where is mummy? Why she is not coming back?" He asked to me and I felt sad for him, I was thinking about my Shifa... What will happen if she would ask the same question about her father

"Do you go to school?" I asked and he nodded innocently

"Your mummy will come back when you will behave like a good boy and do all your homework." I said and he saw me with disbelief and smiled.

"Really? Then mummy will come back?" He asked with full hope in his eyes and I nodded, but I gave a false hope to a very small child.

At the same time his father and grandmother entered in the room. I greater my mother-in-law and she replied with a smile. That was a very small family. Hamdan, his father and his grandmother. Since it was difficult for his grandmother to do all the domestic chores and raise Hamdan that's why I was needed in their house as a nanny of Hamdan and care taker of home.

I got a very big favour from my mother-in-law when she said that since I was newly wedded then I'll not do any work for at least three days. But the man who was my husband by that time he said that there was no need to do all those blandishments and I took charge of all the household work from the very next day of my second marriage..

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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

_Naaz Jamal