MARYAM'S POV:

(Flashback)

"Ammi" I utter and Ammi turned back to saw me, I was coming to meet her parents after two months. Razi took Shifa from me and kissed her cheek happily. Maham and Hamdan also became busy in playing with each other and I looked at my mother who was sitting on sofa, she was chopping vegetables. Going towards her I hugged her and Ammi was shocked on that...

"Ammi... Ammi I was missing you" I mumbled without breaking the hug and after a minute patted my back lightly. I was feeling broken because of Aatish, I didn't wants to think about him but his memories were not leaving me. The way he was happily playing with Shifa... The way he happily talking to her... And the way Shifa innocently smiling on his own father's talk... Everything were giving me tears.

"Maryam.... Maryam Stop crying! Tell me what happened?" Ammi asked me and I break the hug.

"Ammi... Aatish..." I wasn't able to complete my sentence due to sob

"What he done now?" Ammi asked suddenly and a different fear was visible in her eyes.

"Ammi he was in hospital... With his wife.... She is also expecting" I cried in front of my mother and she stay quiet

"Ammi he was playing with Shifa and saying that he want a daughter like her... If he wants a daughter like her then why he divorced me? What was my fault? What was Shifa's fault?" That day I cried my heart out in front of Ammi.

"Maryam now you are Anwar's wife stop crying for Aatish! That was your own decision now what's the benefit of all these things..." Ammi scolded me and I cried more.

"Ammi I'm sorry!!" I said while crying and Ammi wiped my tears and embraced me.

"Forget about Aatish and focus on your present life. Do Anwar cares for you?" Ammi said the first part while caressing my head and enquired the last part while breaking the hug.

"Ammi he cares for me but.." I took a pause to drink water which Ammi passed me

"But he don't love Shifa as a daughter.... If I would be with Aatish maybe he wouldn't care for me but after watching him playing with Shifa I'm thinking that he must love his daughter" I don't know what I was talking and thinking? But whatever was coming in my heart I was sharing with Ammi.

"If he had to think about his daughter he must not divorce you!" Ammi said and I cried more.

"Now stop crying and Tell me what doctor had said?" Ammi asked at the same time.

"Mummy I have to use washroom!" Hamdan came to me and I nodded while wiping my tears.

"Mummy why are you crying?" He asked innocently and I shook my head.

After sometime I went to my room and opened my cupboard to drew out my diary.

Dear Diary....

Today is my 20th birthday....

I started writing Diary on my 18th birthday and in these two years I have shared my every pain, happiness, sorrow, desire, wish and every thing.

This is the first time after divorce when Aatish and me both were in front of each other for almost an hour. His gaze was making me uncomfortable, and whenever he was watching Shifa I wanted to grab his collar and ask him that why now he is watching her? Why he suddenly remembered that he is the father of Shifa!

I don't have any space for him in my heart, but still I wanted a good life with him, in which my daughter get the love from her father, which she is not getting from 'him'. I'm loving and caring for Hamdan so that 'he' also love my daughter as his own but I'm not getting any success.

I just hope and pray that my daughter got 'his' love as a father...

_Maryam Anwar

Closing the diary I again hide that in the cupboard and made my way towards Razi's room because I heard Abbu's voice from there.

"Abbu" I whispered happily. Abbu was sitting on the floor taking Shifa in his lap Maham and Hamdan was sitting his both side. Kids were playing with toys but Abbu was caressing shifa's head happily.

"Abbu" utter that I made my way towards him and he looked up.

"Mummy see, Nana abbu and Maham khala said that I can take these toys with me." I smiled on Hamdan's words and nodded before sitting on the floor beside Abbu.

"Abbu it's been two months, if I didn't come you even made a call to talk to me" I complained with down head.

"Nana buu" Shifa uttered happily and got a kiss on her head from her Nana buu but abbu didn't replied to me.

"Abbu, Don't be offended with me... I am your Maryam. You always said that I'm your elder daughter your Maryam" I said and tears made their way to my eyes and soon they rolled down to my cheeks.

Abbu glanced at me, he opened his mouth to say something but stopped in between, might be he was going to say something harsh but couldn't due to my condition. Placing Shifa on floor beside Maham he left the room and I was still sitting on the floor resting my back with wall, my heart was crying loudly but my eyes were shedding tears tears silently.

"Maryam aapi why are you crying?" Maham asked me after coming to me and I shook my head trying to hide my feelings and tears but couldn't.

"Maham khala mummy was also crying sometimes back" Hamdan informed innocently and wiped my tears.

"See.. I.. I'm not crying, you both tell me what are you playing and what my Shifa is playing?" I diverted the attention of children and they both forgot about the matter and got busy in playing and planning to play other game. That was been almost half an hour when abbu left me in the room,and he didn't came back.

"Maham.. Beta..." That was Abbu's call

"Ji Abbu" Maham yelled looking at the door

"Come here beta" On the sentence Maham left the room and in some five minutes she came back with baby steps, she was holding a tray in her small hands which was difficult for her to handle, but she successfully managed to place the tray on bed and I looked at that.

That was mango pastries, chocolate ice cream with orange soda, tears made its way again to my eyes but that was due to happiness... Abbu didn't forgot my birthday, he always brings all these things for me on every birthday.

"Abbu bring this?" I asked to Maham and she nodded, before passing me the bowl of ice cream and I held that. At the same time Abbu came inside the room and smile looking at Shifa.

"Hamdan beta take ice-cream, it's melting" Abbu said to Hamdan but he was looking at me and I could easily understood what he wanted to say to me. Sitting down beside me silently he made Shifa sat down in his lap. I smiled when Abbu was feeding pastry to Shifa I was remembering the time when he use to feed me from his hands.

"Nana buu" She uttered and we all laughed

"Nana abbu ka beta!!" Abbu said happily to Shifa and I also smile before holding Abbu's arm.

(grandpa's baby)

"Abbu... Abbu I know I did wrong but you loved me very much, please forgive me" I held his arm with both hand and he looked at me.

"Abbu, please Abbu." I pleaded and he looked at shifa..

"Don't you miss your Nana abbu, you don't come to meet your Nana Abbu" ignoring me properly Abbu started talking to Shifa but he didn't freed his arm from my grip.

"Nana abbu why aren't you talking with Mummy?" Hamdan asked innocently and abbu looked at me then him.

"Beta you didn't take pastry!" Abbu talk to Hamdan and I was looking at his face silently.

"Its melting" Glancing at me he said and I noticed the ice-cream, I started having that and after sometime abbu again went out from the room this time he took Shifa with him and I was busy in talking to Hamdan and Maham.

"Maryam what will you like to have in dinner?" Ammi came inside the room and asked

"I'll go back before dinner, I have to cook for everyone" I said and Ammi left the room.

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I got ready to go back, he also came to took me with him but abbu wasn't came back yet, he took Shifa with him and I was waiting for Shifa.

"How much time will it take Maryam?" He asked and I bite the inside of my cheek as I knew could shout on me even in front of my parents and siblings.

"I don't know, it's quite late when Abbu went out, he must be come back by now" I state in slow voice and Ammi came out from the kitchen, she arranged some tea and snacks for him with Maham's help and he glared me.

He didn't like to come to my home, but since Abbu hadn't come back so he was waiting to Shifa.

"I'm sorry I didn't had idea that abbu would take so much time, otherwise I won't let him take Shifa with him" I whispered and I was feeling embarrassed too.

IN some five minutes Ammi came out from kitchen again and passed me a tiffin box, I held but before I could ask what was inside she answered my unasked question

"Its fruit custard" I smiled and nodded, Ammi always made custard for me on every birthday, it means she remembered my birthday.

"If you wanna eat anything why you didn't tell me?" He asked me with same cold expression.

"I didn't as..." my sentence was cut in between by Ammi.

"She didn't asked, I always make this on her birthday" Ammi informed him and he looked at me, but didn't said anything as I did so.

"Mummy is this your birthday today?" Hamdan asked happily and I nodded slowly. At the same time abbu also arrived and he immediately ordered me to get ready to go and I nodded without wasting a single second. I took Shifa from Abbu and he kissed her forehead.

...........................

"Maryam aapi... Wait.." When I was going out from the maindoor Maham came to me running fast.

"Hmm, what happened?" He asked to Maham and I found a fear in eyes of that little girl. She quickly shook her head looking at him and took a step back to hide herself behind me. Even I felt scared of him so it was normal for a little girl. "What happened Maham?" I asked her politely

"Aapi" she passed me a small box wrapped in golden paper.

"What is this?"

"Its your birthday gift, happy birthday" She replied and I smiled.

"Abbu give this?" I enquired and Maham shook her head

"No... Abbu haven't give this but he said me to give you this from my side" she replied innocently and I smiled then kissed her cheek.

"Do this to Abbu then said that this is from his Maryam" I held her hand and kissed the back of her palm, I ordered her to do the same with abbu. After that I looked at him who was already mounted on bike, and I also sat next to him on bike holding him with one hand and Shifa with other hand.

Instead of going to home He turned the bike towards market and stopped in front of a garment shop.

"Why you..." He didn't gave me chance to say anything

"Come" He ordered in same rude way and I stepped in the shop following him.

"Buy for yourself whatever you want" He ordered me and I shook my head slowly

"I don't need, I already have many clothes" I mumbled and he looked at ke with furrowed brows and I found a angry expression because I refused to obey him, but how could I buy new clothes for myself but not for my princess. But I nodded slowly and started looking clothes for myself when my gaze went to a small woolen frock which was perfect for Shifa

"Suniye"

"Hmm" again in the same rude tone... I can't imagine this man without his signature rudeness

"Can I.. I buy that for Shifa" pointing towards the display rack I asked with hesitation. Before that I never asked him to buy anything for Shifa. He just nodded in reply and said shop keeper to pack that on which I smiled. He buy me four suits but didn't wished me neither said that it was birthday present

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I was sitting in the room after dinner, Hamdan and Shifa both were sleeping and I suddenly realised about the gift, I happily open my purse and drew out the box at the same time he entered in the room and sat beside me after closing the door. I unwrapped the box and open that, my eyes became wet after watching my gift.

"Now why are you crying?" He asked and I smiled showing him the gold hoop earrings which abbu gifted me.

"I asked for this before two years and abbu promised me to give this" I said and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Maryam"

"ji" I mumbled while sniffing

"You love Shifa very much right?" I nodded on his question

"Indeed, she is the reason of my life." I state the truth, after Aatish's unfaithfulness might be I committed suicide but that coward man give me a reason to live in the form of my Shifa.

"Don't you love this child like Shifa?" He asked me while pointing towards my bally and I was numb for a couple of moments.

"Why are you saying like this?" I asked

"Answer me" that was an order but not a rude on unlike ever.

"Ofcourse I do love this child" I state and he nodded slowly

"Then for this child's sake forget about your past, focus on your health. And most importantly ignore Amma's tauns, I can't say anything to her, but I can assure you that I will be a good father and better husband." He said while grabbing my hand with his left hand and I looked up. And I couldn't held my tears. I bow my head down to hide my tears, but unwillingly they fell down and dropped on his hand.

"I... I'm trying to forgot my past, but it come in front of me again and again" I mumbled and he pulled me into a hug.

"Maryam I know Amma's taunt make you remember about your past, but ignore her taunts, I trust you" He said with ful rudeness but I hugged him back and cried out. He was thinking that His mother's taunts make me remember about my past but in reality

I remember everything after watching Aatish.

"Now stop crying" Pulling me back he said and I nodded, while wiping my tears.

"Bhabhi.." I listened Rani Baji's call and I made myself stand to go out but he held my wrist.

"Yes...?" He replied loudly instead of me

"Bhai send bhabhi I have some work with her" Rani baji said from otherside of shutted door.

"She was tired so she slept" He replied and I was Amazed on his reply. My wrist was still in his hold, I sat beside him and a smile made its way on my lips.

"Sleep now" I nodded on his ruthless order and lay down on my side, but he was still sitting beside me, there was only silence between us and I entered in the land of nod....

I woke up with a jolt when listened a voice from outside the room.

"Rani, I'm warming you not to do any type of taunt and satire on Maryam, her BP was very high" He said to his sister

"Anwar these all are the tricks of girls to make their husband roam around herself, she is perfectly fine just pretending all these things to make you worry" Amma said to him and I felt hurt.

"Amma she didn't said that she is sick but doctor checked her BP in front of me" He defend me for the fist time

"Bhai she isn't so much innocent, don't you know about her past, she is a stubborn and a clever girl, he know very well how to make anyone fool, first she made her father fool and now she is doing the same with you." that really crushed my heart. How can Rani baji even say this.. Being a woman how she could disregard my dignity, doing love marriage isn't a sin, but if Aatish betrayed me then what's my fault in that?

"That child belongs to me,and I won't tolerate if my child got any harm due to anyone" That was a loud voice which made me jump on my place

"And Rani I'm warning you first and last time, stop doing these taunts, due to this Maryam take stress and my child can be suffering." He shouted again and my heart slipped a beat on that. In no time he entered in the room I was gazing him, and he was looking red due to anger. I didn't found guts in myself to asked him even for water.

"Maryam get sleep, don't worry about anything" he ordered me angrily and I suddenly lay down with shuttered eyes and also lay down beside me but we both were not sleeping. After some one hour I gathered all my courage to break the silence between us.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He keep looking at me.

"I'm not playing any tricks to gain your attention" I said and he closed his eyes.

"Even If you are doing all these things as a trick to make me roam around yourself even then I don't have any problem because my child is most important for me." I got tears in my eyes, with happiness. He was much much better than Aatish, he was thinking about his child.

"Aap bohot achhe hain" I mumbled on which he wiped my tears with the back of his finger.

(you are very kind)

"Sleep now" I closed my eyes and soon I was in deep sleep.

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Author's POV:

Maryam's life was going to take a new turn, after the dark night of her life a bright morning was ready to knock on the door of her destiny. Anwar was ready to take stand for his wife but what about Shifa?

What was the fault of that innocent girl....??

There was only one fault of Shifa, (which she didn't do by herself) that she is the daughter of a coward and impotent man. Every man loves their children but Aatish was a different case. When he found his love in Maryam he rebels against his parents to marry her but he found his benefit in divorcing Maryam and leaving Shifa he did so.... He only think about himself, but his selfishness would definitely harm Shifa....

Anwar was ready to bear all the expenses of Shifa but no man can love someone else's child as his own...

He could be the best Step-Father but not equivalent to a real father.....

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