MARYAM'S POV :

(Flashback)

I was sitting in my room, after coming back from Aatish's home. I looked at myself in the mirror and cried more. I got ready last night for him. I never thought that he would gift me divorce for that. I wanted to sort out everything but...

"Ammi, Abbu" I looked to other side and my parents were standing on the door of my room. Ammi was crying silently and abbu's eyes were bloodshot.

"Abbu..."

"Don't you dare to talk to me... Have you understand now, how is that boy.... I never liked him but you were blind at that time" Abbu shouted on me and I was listening silently, because I was on fault.

"Ammi give me something to eat I haven't eat anything since yesterday" Ignoring the scolding and I made a demand to Ammi. Last night I hadn't eat properly. Ammi gave me breakfast and I fed myself properly after many days. I was feeling like a queen after eating full stomach otherwise I was only killing my hunger in Aatish's place.

After breakfast I tried to talk to Ammi but she didn't talk to me, I again felt hurt. I came back to my room and didn't get anything to do so I decided to write my diary....

I pour my every emotion on that pages. The things which I wanted to tell to ammi and abbu all the feelings, I wrote on the pages. When ever I missed Ammi and Abbu in Aatish's place I always write my emotions in the diary.

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The time was passing as usually, three days passed in the same situations. I was sitting in my room crying all the time.

"Aapi" I listened Maham's voice and she came in my room. She was in our grandparent's home since three days. I saw her after eight months

"Aapi why are you crying?" she stepped in my room and I shook my head in reply.

"What are you eating?" I asked when saw a chocolate in her hand, he passed me and I took a bite.

"Aapi after your marriage every one was asking about you!" she said and I asked what everyone was asking then she informed me that all the relatives were asking about me and I realise what my parents had faced because of me, they two faced and listen all the taunts and satires of relatives, to raise a girl like me.

I kissed Maham's cheek and hugged her. "Aapi I was missing you when you were not here. Why you never come back after marriage? Huda aapi always come to meet us" she said innocently and I was Amazed.

"Huda is married?" I asked to Maham. Huda was our cousin. At the same time Ammi came inside my room holding a food in hands and looked at me. I was still sitting on bed embracing Maham.

"Maham go to your abbu" she said and Maham followed the order.

"Yes, Huda is married. Not only married but happily married. And you know with whom? With the same guy with whom your alliance was fixed and you showed your drama in front of his mother and sister." Ammi said while glaring me and I felt guilty. I didn't thought about my Abbu because of Aatish and he didn't think about me because of his own comfort.

"I'm sorry Ammi" I mumbled and she placed the food in front of me.

"Yesterday your Abbu went to meet Aatish's parents" Ammi said with tear filled eyes

"His father said that they don't have any involvement in your marriage and divorce. He said to your abbu that his daughter did marriage with her will and Aatish divorced you will his own will." Ammi said and I listened silently but still crying. I looked at the food which was placed in front of me and took a bite while crying.

"Ammi is there anyway else to eat?" I asked because I don't like the taste of food and she glared me.

"Do you Still have guts to ask about the food" she asked and left the room. I tried to eat one more bite but couldn't so I lift the food.

Whole day passed. And I was feeling guilty because my abbu was facing insult by everyone due to me. I stud up and moved to the room where abbu was sitting. That was the time of dinner.

"Abbu" I whispered and he looked up.

"Maryam go back to your room I can't tolerate anything more" I cried on his harsh tone. But I moved towards him and sat down in front of him, holding his hand.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." I cried and abbu held his tears.

"You played with your own life. You have not only spoilt our reputation but your life too" He said and I cried more

"Ammi... Please.. Abbu I'm sorry, forgive me" I pleaded and I felt dizziness while crying but I ignored.

"Go back to your room" abbu said and I moved back but I felt dizziness again and I held the door to maintain my balance.

"What happened?" Ammi asked and I shook my head while wiping my tears.

"Nothing just weakness, and dizziness due to lack of sleep" I said trying to control my sob, and she turned her head to other side to hide her tears from us.

"Had lunch or not?" I listened her angry voice and turned to her but I shook my head slowly

"Why?" Abbu asked

"I.. I don't wanna eat that" I said to them and both ordered me to come for dinner I nodded and sat down for dinner after washing my hands.

I again fell dizzy That was normal for me, due to Starving I was feeling dizziness and weakness since a month but I didn't tell to Aatish so that he won't be tensed. But then I was realising that he wasn't the one who think about me.

Suddenly I felt the urge to empty out my stomach and I ran towards the bathroom while pressing my mouth with my palm. After spewed I lay down on the bed because I didn't had energy left in my frame, but due to hunger I went to dining table to feed myself. Ammi and Abbu were looking at each other holding a shocked expression on their faces.

"Maryam come with me" Ammi held my wrist and took me inside the room.

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AFTER TWO DAYS

Dear Diary....

I wanted to smile, but my tears are not leaving my eyes. When doctor declared that I'm two months pregnant I was confused whether I should smile or cry on my destiny. It's been eight months of our marriage... And seven days of divorce. I didn't get this good news when I was with Aatish, but now...

Ammi was shocked when she listened that. I was continuously crying in the whole way from hospital to home. When we stepped back in the home, Abbu was sitting in the living room. He looked at me then Ammi. His eyes were holding a question, I moved towards my room with lower gaze. But before entering the room I turned back to look at the situation, and found abbu sitting on chair holding his head with hand and Ammi was crying silently. This must me the first baby in this world whose material grandparents are crying on its existence...

I don't know why Aatish did this with us? I don't know how will I live my whole life now? I don't know how this baby will survive now? I don't know anything but I only know that I'm feeling happy for myself but sad for this little life.

Once Aatish said that he will fulfill my every wish and every need but he backed off from his words.

_Maryam

Closing the diary I lay down on bed and didn't realised when sleep consumed me. After a long night my slumber got disturbed when I felt someone was shaking my shoulder slowly. I opened her eyes and realised that it was morning.

"Wake up" Ammi said and I sat down on the bed.

"Get ready" Ammi said and I was confused, about the reason

"Why?"

"Your Abbu is talking you to Aatish's home" I was shocked on her words.

"Why Ammi?" I mumbled after remembering the night when he divorced me and my eyes dropped some tears.

"He divorced you during pregnancy, and it will not be valid. Husband can't divorce his pregnant wife, if he give divorce then it wouldn't be considered." Ammi informed me and I saw a new ray of hope entering in my dark life.

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I stepped in Aatish's home with Ammi and abbu. Some tears again popped in my eyes when I witnessed Aatish sitting with his parents without any guilty feeling, without any sorrowful expression on his face. His mother was the first who noticed us entering the house.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me rudely and Aatish suddenly looked up.

"Aatish..." I whispered and we both looking at each other without blinking, my eyes dropped few tears

"My son has divorced your daughter now why you take her here?" Aatish's father asked rudely looking towards Abbu, and I felt guilty because I was the reason of my father's insult.

"Maryam is expecting" Ammi said in hushed tone and everyone was shocked. But my gaze was fixed on Aatish, he didn't smiled on that news but his face become colorless.

After a long argument, discussion and what not.... Everyone got agree that I would live in Aatish's home, because our divorce wasn't valid.

I was sitting in the room waiting for Aatish to come but he hadn't come. That turned to night but he was nowhere. Ammi abbu were disappointed with me as well as they both were angry with me...

And they were not wrong. While waiting for Aatish I didn't realised when I slept.

Next morning I woke up and gaze went to clock which was showing 5:20 am. I turned my side and found him sitting on the bed in front of me.

"Why you did so?" The first word I asked him was that.

"Rose...." He opened his mouth to say something but I suddenly sat down, and hugged him.

"Its a second chance what we have get Aatish. You are going to become father." I hugged him tightly and cried. I was broken but still I wanted to live with him.

"Stop crying" He said and slowly and I smiled thinking that we will live a better life ahead.

"Get ready after sometime" He said in hushed tone and I break the hug

"First tell me why you did that? How can you do so?" I again question and he broke the eye contact. Then I decided not to discuss anything from past and focus on present and future.

"Okay... Forget the past just think about our future." I said while wiping my tears and looked at him. He was not looking at me.

"Congratulations Aatish, you are going to become a father and I am..." I was saying happily holding his hand when he freed his hand from mine and I was shocked.

"Get ready, I'll take you to hospital" He said and I shook my head.

"Yesterday Ammi took me to doctor. Everything is fine, we have to visit doctor next month" I informed him but he was thinking something.

"Aatish aren't you happy?" I asked and he lifted his gaze. 

"Please don't do anything like this again" I rested my head on his chest. And closed my eyes.

"Which month is this?" He asked in whispered and I smiled with closed eyes

"Second" I whispered on his chest

"Rose I... I.. Have talked to a doctor." He said in slow voice and I smiled as I thought he was concerned about our child.

"Aatish I'm very happy" I whispered and felt his hand on the side of my head, he caressed my head slowly and I hugged him more tightly

"I'm taking you to doctor, I have talk to her for abortion. I don't want this child so abort it" I was numb on his demand. I break the hug and looked at him with surprised expression.

"Wh..what are you saying its our child" I asked in stammering voice.

"We don't have any future with each other. How will this child will live like this? So it's better to abort it and you go to your home and start your new life. And I start my new life." He said and I didn't had words to say in reply.

"S.. Start new life...!!"

"Aatish.. My life... is you and this child... We will start new life together with our child." I tried to make my point

"Don't be fool, I don't have a single penny by myself, I'm totally dependent on baba and his business for income. If this child will be born then how will he face all the problems? Its better to abort" He said and I glared him.

"Never" I said with determination

"This Divorce is not considered because you are pregnant but I'll legally divorce you after the birth of this child so the choice is yours whether you want to raise this child as a single mother or not"

"Aatish..." I didn't had words on his effeminacy and dastardliness. How can a father said to abort his own child...

That wasn't an Illegitimate child, but Aatish was treating that child like an unpardonable sin of us.

"Will you again divorce me after birth of this child?" I asked and he stay quite for a minute or two then closed his eyes for a while and nodded.

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To be continued.....

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I Thought everyone is done with this Aatish so I should finish his chapter in one go.

Since the part was so much long I divided into two parts and in next update Aatish's chapter will be over.

_Naaz Jamal