MARYAM'S POV :

(Flashback)

"Maryam"

"Ji..., coming" Switching off the knob of gas stove I went to the room,

"Where is my golden wrist watch?" He asked me while looking in the cupboard.

"It.. It's here" I pointed out towards the nightstand where I had put that in morning with his hankey and wallet he nodded without looking at me "Hamdan, what will you have in lunch?" I asked before moving back towards the door.

"Daal chawal" I nodded and looked at Shifa who was moving her hands and legs in air as usually and Hamdan was sitting beside her shaking a rattle for her.

"Hamdan play with her later, when you come back from school, for now come for breakfast" I said and made my way to kitchen.

"Dulhan.."

"Ji Amma" I went to her in her room.

"Is Hamdan ready for school?" she asked and I nodded

"Make a cup of tea for me." I again nodded on order and went to kitchen. I made omelette for him and pour the tea in cups, placing everything in tray I marched towards dining area.

"Amma your tea" saying that I placed the cup in front of her and served him breakfast too, then it was Hamdan's turn.

"Hamdan see I have made bread rolls for you, now have it like a good boy" I said and lifted the roll for him

"Uhhmm... Dulhan it's cold... Make another cup of tea for me" I looked at my mother-in-law and nodded while placing back the roll on plate, before going to the kitchen.

"Amma" I passed another cup of tea to Amma and took my seat beside Him, Hamdan was sitting in his lap.

"Hamdan now quickly have it you are getting late for your school" I lifted the bread roll to his mouth and he took a small bite.

"Dulhannnn..." this time the voice was very sweet and innocent, I smiled on the way of Saying Dulhan by Hamdan 

"Yes, Dulhan ke abbu?" I asked playfully while giving another bite to him.

"Where is tomato ketchup?"

"You are not getting any tomato ketchup until you start finishing your school lunch" I said but I got a glare in reply from his father.

"What do you mean, you will not give him that?" I felt scared with his voice and sharp gaze.

"He is not having his school lunch since two days, I... I just said so that he have his lunch in school" I informed him in slow voice and lower gaze I didn't had courage to look at his face.

"Take it Hamdan" I give him another bite, this time with ketchup.

"Hamdan why aren't you having your lunch?" He asked with politeness.

"Papa I was playing in lunch break and my frie...." Hamdan was saying all these things when I listened shifa's crying voice.

"Shifa is crying" I mumbled and made myself stand, but first I had to give another bite to Hamdan so leaving with no option I did so then went to the room

"Why my Shifa Is crying?" I picked her and embraced her she must be hungry so I sat down on bed to feed her but.... then I remembered that I had to feed Hamdan too. Carrying shifa in my right arm I went to dining area, and again starting feeding Hamdan while rocking my baby with one arm.

"Why is she crying?" I looked at the owner of rude voice

"She must be hungry" I mumbled and he took the roll from my hand

"Go in the room" He ordered me and started feeding Hamdan. I made my way to the room and feed Shifa. It was being five minutes or some more when I listened doorbell.

"Dulhan open the door"

"Ji Amma" I yelled back in response to the command and made my way to the door after carrying Shifa in my arms. The face wasn't expected who was standing in the door at that time. That was my sister-in-law....

Rani Baji... With her husband and two children, she was looking very ill.

Since she was ill and she lived in separate home so there were no one in her place to look after her. And she came to her maternal home to make her condition better and my condition worsen.

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"Amma aaj khane me kya banau?" I asked cleaning home and washing kids clothes.

(What to make of food today??)

"Kuch bhi Bana lo, mere liye to daliya Bana dena aur Rani ke liye kuch soup wagerah Bana dena" I nodded and stepped out from the room but....

(Cook whatever you want, but make porridge for me and soup for Rani)

"Aur Raat ko Musa ayenge to, kuch achha Bana dena, aur bachcho ke liye to daal Chawal banne hi hain" Amma added in the menu and I helplessly nodded

(And make something good for dinner because Musa will arrive for dinner and make daal chawal for kids.)

I was wondering from where should I start and where I had to end all those works. But I started and in the time being Shifa started crying and I picked her went to kitchen for cooking

"Mami when will Hamdan bhai come back?" Rani baji's son asked and I realized that I was late to pick him yesterday and I couldn't afford to do same. I made Shifa slept in the room and changed my clothes' before moving towards the room of my mother-in-law.

"Amma I'm going to pick Hamdan, Shifa is sleeping in room." saying that I turned to go and she nodded in response while picking Rani baji's two and a half year old daughter.

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"Hamdan have you finished your lunch, today?" I asked when I has stepped in the home holding Hamdan's hand in right hand and his school bag with other hand.

"Dulhan today ma'am has...." I didn't let him complete

"Not Dulhan, but mumma" I said and he was quite for a moment, before I could say anything else I listen a crying voice of my baby...

"Shifa" I scoot towards the room.

"Dulhan come here"

"Amma coming in just a minute" I replied and went to my room just to find my little girl was lying on the floor in her stomach and crying badly.

"Dulhan what happened to Shifa?" Humdan asked but I didn't reply and picked her from the floor, she must be fell down why rolling on the bed. When I picked her I witnessed a knot on her forehead, she was looking red maybe she crying since long time.

"Shifaaaa... My little princess, don't cry babu.." I embraced her and started patting her back but she was crying constantly, I got tears in my eyes. Amma was in next room but she didn't bother to watch why a little, innocent girl was crying!! But she would come while running in full speed if it would be Hamdan or Rani baji's children on shifa's Place.

"Dulhan... I summoned you... Come here" Amma yelled and I went to her room carrying my crying daughter.

"Ji Amma"

"Serve lunch... Kids are hungry, and have you changed Hamdan's clothes?" she asked and I shook my head in reply while looking at Shifa who was crying very loudly.

"Tumhari beti roti bohot hai, abhi ek hi din hua hai aye hue aur ro ro kar sar me dard kar diya isne....Rani so rahi thi Iski awaaz se uth gai" She said while rolling her eyes and making an unpleasant face and I felt wetness in my eyes, how can anyone say something like that for an innocent child, who was just a toddler then.

(Your daughter cry very much, it's only a day since she came here and I got headache due to her crying. Even Rani was sleeping and she woke up due to her crying voice)

I made my way to kitchen to heat up food. First I served food to Amma and Rani Baji then changed Hamdan's uniform then served food for him and Rani Baji's kids. I was giving bites in kids mouth one by one, and after all I was done with lunch duty....

After completing everything I took a plate of rice, pour little amount of daal on that and went to my room. Sitting on the bed with crossed legs, I took Shifa in my lap to feed her, and I too started having my lunch.

"Hamdan bhai try to catch me...."

"I'll catch you, I run very fast" I was listening the voice of Kids who were playing outside the room, but I was busy in having my lunch. Holding the plate in left hand I lifted spoon full of rice with other and from nowhere suddenly Hamdan appeared there while chasing his cousin brother and they both boys hit my hand while running, unwillingly. Eventually Food was spilled on the bed and the steel plate hit the floor with a terrific thud.... Before I could understand the whole situation both the boys were already out of the room.

"Allah... Why I don't have rest and peace in my destiny?" I mumbled while closing my eyes, I wanted to cry at that time. I was supposed to take rest for some half an hour but then that 30 minutes were going to clean the floor and changed the sheet, but I was left with no way so I did so.

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I went to Kitchen for evening snacks and tea... Placing tea in tray with some biscuits I went towards the Amma's room both, I felt my feet were rooted by floor when I listened Mother daughter due talking about my Shifa....

"Maa ne to apne sage baap ki izzat ka khayal nahi kra, Anwar to sotela baap hai, ye ladki bhi agar bade ho kar apni maa k naqsh-e-qadam par chali to sab ke samne hamari aur hamare khandan ki naak to kategi...." that was the kind words of my mother-in-law which gave a pang in my heart

(Mother didn't think about the reputation of her real father, Anwar is withal her step father. What will happened if This girl will repeat the history of her mother... Insult and disrespect would be faced by us and our family)

"Sahi keh rahi ho Amma, me to ab soch rahi hu, bhai ki shadi jaldi karne ke chakker me humne galat fesla to nhi kar liya?!"

(You are right Amma, we did hurry in bhai's Marriage, but now I'm regretting for our decision)

I knock on the door and placed the tray on the bed, without looking at anyone I made my way back to kitchen for serving snacks to kids. But I realized the reality of my life and my mistake...

Many other girls also did love marriage, they all were happy in their life, their husband treats them like an apple of their eye.... No one said anything odd about those girls just because they were living happily with their husbands... If I would be living happily with Aatish then everyone would says that this girl took a good decision by choosing such a nice guy. but the society was treating me as a characterless one. My only fault was that, that Aatish divorced me without any of my mistake and being a divorcee it would my duty to listen all those harsh words, because I couldn't afford another divorce by arguing with my second husband's mother or sister.

But....

My life wasn't limited to myself.... Then it started effecting my daughter's future too... Will everyone see Shifa as Daughter of Maryam ; who did rebel for doing marriage with her own will, who became the reason for disrespect of her father in front of society....

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"Bhai Sahab, bhabhi khana achha banati hain"

(bhabhi cooks Well)

Musa Bhai said after taking few bites but he keep watching Hamdan, without paying attention to me as if I wasn't existing anywhere, but I didn't had any problem with that type of behavior, after all neither he nor me were interested in working on our relationship, he wanted a caretaker for his son, mother and home as I needed a name of father for my daughter, and our needs were full filing.

"Dulhan chawal thande ho gai hai, garam nikal kar lao... In cheezo ka dhayan khud rakho" Amma said and I nodded while placing back the first bite which I had lifted to eat.

(Dulhan rice turn cold... take care of these things yourself, bring hot rice from kitchen)

I pick Shifa up and looked here there to everyone to give her, but no one was interested in handle my daughter, left with no choice I went to kitchen carrying her in my left arm.

Placing back the dish on dining table I sat down again but before I could lift the bite, Shifa started crying, so Leaving the dinner I went to room to feed her.

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"Rani are you coming back or wanna stay were?" Musa bhai asked while going back after dinner and the reply make me feel that I might hit my head with the near by wall....

"I'll stay here for some more days until I become absolutely fine"

'she will be fine but I'm sure she will make me unwell and peaky.' I said in my heart and sighed with dejectedness

After washing dishes and cleaning kitchen I went to room to ask him if he wanted tea or not but, he wasn't in the room. Hamdan was playing with Shifa by caressing her cheek with his fingers.

"Hamdan where is your papa?"

"Dadi summoned him" I listened and lay down on bed beside Shifa.

"Dulhan... This is still red" Hamdan said while touching shifa's forehead, my baby must be fall off from the bed hardly.

"But she is my brave daughter." I said while kissing her forehead.

"Dulhan when will mummy come back? She also says that I'm his brave son... She says that I'm papa's tiger and mummy's lion" Hamdan was really missing his mother, he wasn't that small that didn't remember his mother but not enough mature to understand the reality of life and death.

"You know Hamdan your mummy is busy in very important work, that's why she send me here to do all your work. Until she is coming back you can call me mummy and I also do all your works na... Just like your mummy!" I tried to make him understand

"Dulhan I'm missing my mummy" I felt pang in my heart after witnessing tears in his eyes, he was not hollering but sobbing silently.

"Come here, you are mummy's lion, Papa's tiger, Shifa's Hamdan bhai and Dulhan's..."

"What are you to me Hamdan" I asked in childish tone while taking him in my embrace and he stay silent.

"See Shifa is saying that her Hamdan bhai is not a good and brave boy that's why he is crying" I said and those words hit the little man's ego.

"No Shifa I'm a brave boy" he said while looking at Shifa who moving her hands and legs in air.

"So it's final now you are my brave boy and you will call me mummy, got it?" I said while leaving him from my embrace and he nodded.

"Dulhan..."

"Mummy" I corrected

"Mummy when will Shifa start talking?" I smiled on his question and pinched his cheek

"She w..." I was saying something when my attention got diverted by foot steps sound which entered in the room very next moment.

"Maryam" his voice was full of anger and I got startled by that, I suddenly sat down on bed and lifted my gaze towards him.

"j.. ji"

(y.. Yes)

"Today Amma was summoning you but you didn't listened to her!" He scolded me and I was confused that when I did that

"But.. I.. When did I?" I tried to ask but his sharp gaze made me scared and I stay quite.

"Amma is saying when you come back after picking Hamdan from school she summoned you..." I didn't let him complete that time.

"When I came back, Shifa was crying badly, she fell down from bed so I was picking her up" I informed him meekly and he sat down on bed taking Hamdan in his lap.

"Yes papa Shifa was laying on the floor, see this is still red" Hamdan informed his father while gesturing the knot on shifa's forehead and he looked at me then Shifa.

"Have you completed your homework?" He asked to Hamdan and he nodded with a smile

"Now sleep" kissing Hamdan's cheek his father said

"Maryam go and check the main door is locked or not. I think I forgot to lock it" I nodded while going out fron the bed

"Where is Hamdan?" I asked because Hamdan wasn't in room When I came back after checking the door, which was already locked.

"He wanna sleep with Amma and Rani, so he went there" He informed me and I tried to gave a nod.

"You didn't Have dinner. Right" He asked rudely and I nodded.

"Go and bring dinner for you" That was again a rude order, without glancing at me.

"I'm sleepy, I don't want to eat now" saying that meekly I lay down on my side of the bed taking Shifa in my embrace but she was not sleeping. I didn't took more than two minutes to sleep.

"Tired?" that was a question which dragged me out from my sleep. I shook my head with half closed eyes.

"Go and bring dinner for yourself, you feed her so you need more energy, don't skip your meal" His voice was ruthless but this time I made myself stand and went to kitchen.

'At least he is better than Aatish, he is hell rude towards me but still he is thinking about my meal, not like Aatish... He use to had his lavish meal with his family without thinking about my starving state' I compared both the men while heating up food for myself. When I went back to the room, I noticed Shifa was going to fell down from bed, but he suddenly grabbed her and made her lay down at the center of the bed, and again started giving his eyes to the family photo which he was holding in his hand.

"If Amma scolds you on anything, you don't have to give any reply to her" without glancing at me he said and I nodded on his rude order then started having my dinner.

"She is rude sometimes..." He added and I nodded again, he was continuously watching the same photo.

'Like his son' I said about him in my heart but looked at my daughter who was smiling without any reason and looked adorable.

"Shifa... My baby.... My cutie pie" I said in whispered, and my doll chuckled while trying to lift her weight on her arms.

"When I am talking to you then listen to me, don't ignore my talks by playing with your daughter" I looked up suddenly on a loud voice, enough loud that I felt my heart would come out of my ribcage with fear and Shifa started crying.

"I.. I'm.. Sorry, but I was listening" I uttered with almost no voice and picked Shifa from the bed. After some five minutes Shifa stopped crying but I was still holding my tears in my eyes, with bowed head, but that dropped down and I wiped that with the back on my palm.

"Now stop your crying, I didn't said anything that you start crying" He ordered me while going towards his cupboard and placed the photo frame in the locker.

"Make tea, today you haven't made me tea" After the silence of ten minutes he said as usually in his rude voice and I nodded while making Shifa lay down on bed, she was sleeping by then.

.................

"Tea" I passed a cup of tea and she looked at me with furrowed brows

"Where is yours?" again the harsh voice

"I.. I don't wanna have tea right now" I said meekly without making eye contact

"Why?"

"I won't be able to sleep if I have tea at this time" I said a lie, it was my daily routine to have tea before sleeping.

"bring a empty cup from kitchen" he ordered me and I did so, pouring the half tea in that cup he passed me and started sipping from his cup.

I was trying to conclude that ; was he Good or bad? rude or caring? Heartless or soft heated? But my brain and heart both had different opinions about him.

For Once I looked at him then at Shifa who was sleeping beside me after having tea I lay down placing my hand on Shifa and kisses her forehead, I was keep caressing her head with my palm, and when I lifted my gaze he was watching me without blinking.

"Ab kya puri raat yahi karti rahogi? Woh soo rahi hai, tum bhi so jao" He said with furrowed brows after turning off the light and I closed my eyes on his impolite order.

(Will you keep doing this for whole night? She is sleeping you too sleep now)

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