The clock was reading 1 pm.

The lazy sun was reclining above my head muffled in the enormous sheet of blue sky which had a few patches of light grey clouds. 

The fresh and cold gust kissed my hair with all the delicate motherly love one could show, giving an unknown peace to my Crystal Heart which was holding a few cracks.

The course yet soft raw grass carpet was feeling cold and wet against my bare feet.

Filling my soul with the fragrance of roses and jasmine I drew out a pen and my diary from the bag. It was not only a Diary but a piece of my memories as well as my heart. Allowing the past happenings to hit the mind, I touched the hardcover with my fingers and opened the last and only empty sheet.

Dear Diary,

Faraz's chapter was closed a few years back, but there is something that is attached to my heart... It's difficult to remove. Sometimes I try to forget my past, but I can't separate the past from my existence.

Yesterday, when Deni offered me second ice cream, I couldn't help but reminds the incident when Faraz gave me ice cream.

I'm trying my best to divert my mind from this topic but...

Why it's so difficult?

_Shifa

"Shifa~" The loud call from the backside startled me. "Affi, you scared me" placing my right hand on the heart I exclaimed but Afifa goggles at my situation. Jangli ladki (idiot)

"Again diary writing!" Afifa picked the diary from my lap and took a deep breath before reading it aloud "Faraz's chapter was closed a few years back, but there is something that is attached to my heart... It's diffic..." Snatching away the diary from her hand I glare at her. "Afifa what's wrong with you?" 

But she glared at me in return and continued reading. This time not loudly.

"What?? Really?? RJ Deni gave you second ice cream!! Oh my God... Is this for real?? Or am I dreaming??" The overdramatic Afifa yelled but only to get a good amount of glare from me.

"It was his birthday so he gave a treat... Nothing else" I rolled my eyes as if it was nothing special but Afifa hooted.

"Oohhoooo, to baat yaha tak pohoch gayi,"

(Oohhoooo, so the matter has come so far)

I literally smacked my forehead. This girl got a new topic.

"I shouldn't talk to you about Deni, you always take us in the wrong way" I felt defeated but she smirked. "I always correctly take this matter"

"I hate you Affi"

"My pleasure" placing one hand on her heart she bent a bit and I fake cried out. I don't know why I have such a stupid best friend? Best friends are usually life saver but this girl is a problem creator, but I still love her. My idiot

Afifa started reading random pages of my dairy and I let her do as she already know everything. And I again started thinking about what I was thinking for the last twenty hours!

Deni's gift!

It would be insignificant to take a treat but not give him any gift. But what could I gift him? I had no idea!

"Faraz bhai aur apni puri kahani isme likh di?" Afifa's voice pulled me out from my thoughts, and I nodded in response.

(Have you written your and Faraz's complete story in this?)

"Yaar I wanna read it" Afifa demanded and I shrugged. "Take it whenever you wanna read," I grant her permission, she was the only person whom I could trust in this matter. She had read my Mom's Personal Diary too.

"Affi, Yesterday was Deni's birthday, he gave me treat and I now have to gift him something... But what? I don't know" Afifa's eyes became wide.

"Really?" She checked my temperature by touching my forehead with the back of her fingers. "You're going to buy a gift for a guy... Oh my God" I pushed Afifa's hand away while glaring at her.

"Can't you be serious about this matter?"

"I'm already serious." She winked at me. Ughh.... Kya kru is ladki ka?? I just wanted to hit mine or her head on the wall.

"Tujh Jese dost ho na to Dushman ki zarurat nhi hoti" I huffed but she chuckled.

(One doesn't need an enemy if have a friend like you)

"Achha na gussa nhi ho, you can gift him a wristwatch or perfume." I thought for two more minutes and nodded, I was also thinking to gift him a wristwatch. What else could I give him?

(C'mon don't be angry)

"I'm going now," With this statement, I wear my footwear which was placed on the left side of the bench and Afifa waved her hand to bid goodbye. "bye" I muttered

"Shifa" was stopped by her loud call when I was about to step out from the college garden.

"Don't forget to tell me the reaction of my hone wale jiju after getting the gift..." Afifa yelled aloud giving me a big shock. I was at least five meters away from her.

(Would be brother-in-law)

"Tu pitegi mujhse... He is not your hone wale jiju" I yelled back with fake anger and stepped ahead.

(You'll get a slap from me, He is not your would-be brother-in-law)

"Yea, He is! I know." To throw a deadly glare at Afifa, I turned my head while walking ahead but before I could get success in my intention I was bumped into someone.

"Oh, my bad" I looked at the figure, standing after me. He was Kabeer, with his two more friends. 

"Carefully miss" Kabeer smirked which I didn't like but what I could do? Maintaining my position I stepped ahead.

"Wah, kisi ko gifts diye jaa rahe hain aur mujhse sirf hello karne me bhi itna ego! Wese kon hai wo khush-naseeb insaan Jo aapki attention haasil karne me kaamyaab ho gya?" Kabeer raised his brow. I felt my blood boiling. Not only on Kabeer but because of Afifa too for announcing aloud about Deni and the gift.

(Wow, someone is getting gifts from you but you're so arrogant in only greeting me. Who is the lucky person who managed to get your attention?)

"Excuse me Kabeer. Neither it's your matter of concern nor I'm liable to answer your questions" With an arrogant reply I stepped ahead. Kabeer was stunned but his friends burst out laughing. "This is called the perfect example of insult" they gave a high five but Kabeer huffed.

I turn back to saw him, "I will not leave her for this" Gritting his teeth he was challenging me. I don't care about this nonsense.

<><><><><><>

There were hardly ten minutes in recording but Daniyal was nowhere. Holding the box of the wristwatch in my hands I was waiting for him impatiently, outside the recording room.

"Sir," I knock on the door of David's cabin to gain permission to enter. "Sir Daniyal hasn't arrived yet," I informed and David sir hummed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention... Daniyal won't record the program with you. Now you'll host this program alone and Daniyal will host his other program" my heart skipped a beat. Why? I don't know!

"And what will be his timing?" I dare to ask meekly, it wasn't easy to question David sir, but my luck was good to get the reply instead of scolding.

"Early morning or maybe after your recording... It's not decided yet"

"Thanks sir" I nodded with a formal smile before going to the recording room and drawing out my almost blank script I felt worried. Deni could inform me about this change. "How will I manage now?" I muttered but planned to use a few old scripts I already had. Deni's company had changed my style, or it's better to say After his joining I became a bit careless as he was always there to cover my mistakes.

Somehow I gave my best but, Downhearted. Shoving the gift box in my bag I stood up from the chair. At the same time, my mobile rang. It was as usual Mumma's call.

"Mumma just stepping out from here" Without even listening to the question I replied.

"Shifa you're sounding tensed. Beta is everything fine?"

Was there any problem?

Actually, No.

But there was something which was bothering me.

"Everything is fine." I replied in the same dead voice, I don't know what exactly was I feeling?

"Come soon and your papa was asking about some cheque... Had he given you any cheque?" My eyes became wide and I smack my forehead.

"Mummy I'll talk after coming home" I hung up the call and hurriedly open my bag. How could I forget to submit it? I rummaged in my bag for the cheque but didn't find it.

"Papa will kill me. What will happen now?" Drawing out everything from the bag I mumbled and a sigh of relief came off my mouth when found the cheque. Glancing at the time I smiled with satisfaction. There was still half an hour in closing the bank and I could reach there in fifteen minutes. In short, I could be safe from papa's scolding and anger.

Repacking my bag I stepped out from the recording room in a hurry. 

"Shifa tomorrow and the day after tomorrow is yours off" I looked up at the receptionist. Confused.

"But why?" I asked whilst signing the attendance record and she informed me the reason. "Because of the festival, there will be two special programs at the time of your show, so you could enjoy two paying holidays" I was so happily to hear it. After all I was going to take some rest. After my exams I wanted to at least a complete day off but it was difficult for me as I have to come radio station on Sunday too. I got Tuesday off when college is open.

Well, holding happiness of holidays as well as a regret of not meeting Deni to give him gift I had just decided to took a step ahead when a well-known voice grabbed my attention.

"Ji Ammi sab kheriyat hai, bas kuch masrufiyat thi isliye aap ki call attend nhi kari." He was Daniyal, Talking to his mother on the call while coming towards the counter. Masrufiyat!! Couldn't he say normally that he was busy?

(Yes Ammi all good, I was a bit occupied so did not attend your call.)

But I smiled and passed him a pen. He raised his brow with a dramatic smile because he usually gives me his pen to sign the register but today I did this work.

"Ammi aap farigh bethi hain kya?" He smiled while talking to his mother, and after signing the register moved towards the recording room. Farigh... Another alien version urdu word. Couldn't he asked his mother if she is free? But no... He and his urdu. But I have to admit, I started liking urdu after meeting him. I followed him to give him the gift but he was still busy with his mother.

"Arey ammi, ab bas bhi kariye. Itna to koi chhote bachcho ko bhi nhi daanta" I looked at him, as so did with a defeated smile and gestures towards his mobile like trying to tell me that his mother was scolding him.

(Come on Ammi, please stop it now. No one scolds even children like this)

I was only trying to suppress my giggle. He was the same Mr Daniyal Kazmi who always scolds others, except me, but he was being scolded by his mother like a small boy.

"Deni Just a minute" I whispered with a suppressed giggle.

"Five minutes" he open his fist to gesture with five fingers while mouthing and giving me a defeated look making my smile drop. I didn't have much time.

"Just a minute Ammi?" Muttering that he removed the mobile from his ear.

"Anything important?" He asked and I felt hesitant to give him the belated birthday gift when his mother was on the call. I smiles nervously and shook my head.

"Some other day." Whispering that I shoved the brown box in my bag and muttered "Allah Hafiz" Deni was looking confused but I couldn't afford to waste much time.

<><><><><>

At Home:

"Will he like this?" I questioned myself while opening the box of the wristwatch. My mind was remembering Deni's face and his personality.

Today, for the very first time I saw him keenly. His dense black, silky but messy hair was almost covering his forehead. The square specs were covering his narrow but grey eyes. Umm... Yeah, I didn't like his eyes, they are so small, but maybe every spec wearing person's eyes become small with passing time... But his lips are good in shape, and his smile is so attractive, especially when he smiled like a child when his mother was scolding him.

"Ughh... Astagfirullah... What the hell I'm doing?" cursing myself to think about Deni more than enough, she tries to divert my mind. But unknowingly and unwillingly a smile crawl to my lips after remembering Afifa's words. "Hone wale jiju" (would be brother-in-law)

"Astasfirullah... Astasfirullah... Am I going crazy?" I scolded myself and took a deep breath while trying to forget this matter. But I'm helpless. His friendly nature and wise attitude always makes me smile. There was something in him that I was stopping me to forget him. And I noticed one more thing, after meeting him I was forgot my problem. But what was the problem? I don't even know.

"Shifa"

"Ji papa?" I stood up from the bed when papa came inside the room from the already open door.

"I have told you to do a work" I nodded in reply and open my bag to pass him the receipt which I got from the bank.

"Papa I've to talk to you" passing the receipt I muttered. After thinking a lot about Deni's advice I felt he was correct. Telling him the reality to papa would be better than letting him know through someone else.

"Hmm say" he ordered in the same ruthless tone. I don't think he will talk to me happily, ever. Before I could open my mouth to say a single word.

"What is this" picking up the box of wristwatch papa asked with furrowed brows and my heart stopped to beat. "Hmm?" He looked at me.

"Wristwatch," I unthought out. "I could this... But for whom?" He asked and I felt goosebumps on the right side of my face.

"Umm... This... Actually..." papa lift his gaze to me, he was waiting to get a reply but I was blank. Only few minutes back I promised myself that I won't lie about anything but unfortunately the promise was shortlived.

"Umm... For Hamdan bhai... He is going back na... So... I... Thought to gift him something" I muttered and papa hummed in response while drawing the wristwatch out from the box.

"It's good, but give something to Mehvish too, she is also going back with Hamdan" I nodded and gulped while gathering all my courage.

"Papa have you remember I won the singing competition in college and I told you about the offer?" Papa furrowed his already dense brows and nodded.

"Hmm, I remember" He muttered while placing the watch back in the box. At the same time, we all listen to the doorbell and Papa grit his teeth. He suddenly became angry making me confused.

"Suniye, Bilal is home, you're asking for him na?" Mummy yelled from the kitchen and papa stepped out of my room after placing the box on the bed. I followed him, still confused. Bilal entered the home with a big grin but papa stood in front of him.

"Where were you, Bilal?" He asked his beloved son.

"Papa, I was with Rahul and Hamza" Bilal replied and papa furrowed. He was looking very angry. "Why?" He asked and Bilal shrugged with the same smile.

"For group study, I told you and mu..." Before Bilal could complete his sentence a loud voice echoed in the air. It was a slap on Bilal's left cheek.

"What are you doing?"

"Papa"

Hamdan and Mummy both exclaimed at the slap, but Bilal and I were numb.

"No one of you will come in this matter." Papa roared making every heart flutter. He was turning old but his anger was still the same.

"Were you with Hamza and Rahul?" Papa roared and Bilal managed to looked at Mummy and Hamdan bhai, his hand was covering the finger marks on his cheek.

"kya hua hai kuch to bataye?" Mummy took a step ahead.

(at least tell me what happened?)

"Pucho is se ye Rahul aur Hamza ke sath tha ya Rayyan ke? Aur bike racing karke konsi group study hoti hai? Mene mna kra tha Rayyan ke sath time spend karne se, lekin Ek to meri baat nahi maani upar se ye... Ye jhut bhi bolne laga" Bilal got another slap but its effect was visible on my heart.

(Ask him if he was with Rahul and Hamza or with Rayyan? And what kind of group study he was doing while doing bike racing? I had told him not to spend time with Rayyan, but instead of listening to me he's lying)

"This is the first and last time when I'm leaving you, if I got to know you're with Rayyan I will break your legs." Papa glared at Bilal and he wiped his tears looking at mummy who was also holding tears in her eyes.

"I had some reasons behind stopping you to meet Rayyan but..." Papa again stepped ahead to slap Bilal but this time Hamdan bhai managed to save him.

"Papa, forgive him this time, he won't do anything after this." Hamdan bhai defends Bilal to get Papa's glare.

"I hate when you people don't listen to me... and I hate liars more than anyone else." Glaring at Bilal, papa roared and I forgot to take my next breath. I was gulped by the endless amount of fear. My hands and legs were literally shivering.

"What were you saying about that competition?" Papa suddenly turned towards me and I gasped.

" No.nothing" I stammered while Shaking my head and going back to the room after glaring at Bilal.

If Only a small lie could make him so much angry, what will he do after knowing about me?" that was the only question my timid and fearful heart was asking at that time.

<><><><><>