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Continuing...

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"Show me," Maryam held Shifa's hand and looked at her face, the dullness of her cheeks and tears in her eyes were screaming about her pain... But which pain? Physical pain because of those thorns or the heartache?

Maryam and Mrs Kazmi started to examine her palm but Anwar was more interested in another question. "Why do you want to delay the wedding?" His voice echoed in the room attracting everyone's attention. Mrs Kazmi and Maryam also looked at her face to know the answer and Shifa controlled herself to show more tears.

"I've received an email just now regarding our practical dates. It's on 27th and 28th." Shifa told a half-truth. That's true, their wedding was on 27th and the practical date was announced as the same as well as very next morning but deep down she wanted to get some time to gulp down the reality regarding Daniyal's feelings. She couldn't blame Daniyal too, as he already cleared everything from his end, it was only her fault to fall for him but it's not a fault too... Who would not fall for a man who stays beside other in every situation?

"That's a matter of concern." Anwar muttered and Mrs Kazmi nod her head.

"You go and change your clothes... We'll think about it." Maryam told Shifa in her polite tone, who stood up without wasting time as she need some space. Bit before going to the her room she throw the rose in the bin. Mrs Kazmi was a bit surprised, if that rose was given by Daniyal then throwing that away wasn't a good deed.

"Maryam," Mrs Kazmi call her in a hushed tone.

"Ji?"

"Mujhe aesa kyu lag rha hai ki in aasuo ki wajah is gulaab ke kaate nahi hain." Said Mrs Kazmi in a hushed tone and Maryam nodded.

(Why do I feel that these thorns aren't the reason behind her tears?)

"Mujhe bhi aesa hi lag raha hai."

(I'm feeling the same)

Both the ladies were concerned about Shifa but Anwar was thinking only about her practical and wedding dates. He was already afraid of the same problem. Shifa's education and her independence was his first priority.

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Dear Diary,

Today, I wanted to confess that I feel happy after talking to him. I wanted to let him know that he holds a special place in my life. I wanted him to be aware of my opinion about him, I admire him and like to hear from him, I wanted to inform him of everything but what I heard. His past! He doesn't have space for anyone other than his first love! Why always with me? Why? Is it my heart or a toy? First, Faraz and now Deni...

I can't understand why life tests me in this way. I can't imagine my life with Deni in this situation. Earlier I was fine with the fact that he can't love me but not now. I'm feeling insecure. What will happen if he'll loses his interest in me with passing time? Love is like a rope which ties two individuals, but what will happen when there will be no love in our relationship? I am afraid of such relationships that are nothing but a burden. I don't want to live as a burden. I'll be fine if there will be no more in between us, but I can't live if he'll treat me like a worthless item of his life.

Will my life turn into a mess after getting married to Deni?

I'm afraid now. But it's too late, sooner or later I'll have to tie myself into this loveless relationship.

_Shifa.

Closing the diary she spread her arm on the table and rest her head over it. Thick tears dropped out of her eyes but soon she closed them. Silent of the room was not providing her peace like always, but that silence also didn't live for long. Her ringing mobile phone forced her to open her eyes.

"Why is he calling now?" She muttered; disappointed. For the first time she didn't want to talk to Daniyal. So she didn't receive the call.

Sometimes hopes and expectations bond us with the other person. Hope of a beautiful relationship, the hope of happiness and hope of togetherness. Unfortunately, Shifa's hopes were already broken.

Before she could take rest for some time to relax her heart and mind her mobile again started ringing. With no intention to talk to him she picked the mobile up. "Shifaa... Beta come here." A loud call from Maryam gives her a reason for not receiving the call.

"Coming mummy." Yelling in reply she put back the mobile while stepping down from the bed.

"Ji Mumma?" Shifa stepped in the room where her parents along with Mrs Kazmi were looking tensed. And it was obvious for them to be tensed, all the wedding preparations were done, invitations were sent and the wedding function was supposed to start from very next day, so it was not easy to delay the wedding.

"It's almost impossible to delay the wedding," Maryam muttered.

"Will it be fine with you if you go for practical on very next day of wedding? Beta we can't change anything at this point." Mrs Kazmi asked and Shifa looked at Anwar then Mrs Kazmi. She also knows that delay in the wedding could burden Anwar financially which she didn't want.

"Okay," Shifa mumbled without any expression on her face, but Mrs Kazmi smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Will you manage? I don't want your studies to suffer," asked the overbearing man present in the room and Shifa nod her head.

"May I take a rest? I'm not feeling well." She took a step back, Maryam and Mrs Kazmi both exchanged their look and then looked at the jewellery and wedding dress. Both ladies demanded her to try that and Shifa couldn't refuse. Three of them walked to Shifa's room. Maryam and Mrs Kazmi were waiting for Shifa to come out from the bathroom after changing herself into the attire when a ringing mobile attracted both ladies. Their gazes fall on the mobile which was placed on the study table and a name was flashing on that. Mr Kazmi.

Maryam didn't feel comfortable, she was worries about Mrs kazmi's reaction. How would she react after knowing that his son talks to Shifa so frequently? But Mrs Kazmi smiled and looked at Maryam.

"Hamare sahabzaage keh rahe the unhe Shifa pasand nhi hai, lekin jab humne dusri ladkiyon ka intekhaab kra to unhe Shifa ke alawa kisi aur se shadi bhi nhi karni thi... Ye bachhe sochte hain hume samajh nhi aata inke dil mein kya hai." Mrs Kazmi smiles meanwhile the mobile stopped ringing.

(My dear son was telling us that he doesn't like Shifa, but when we had chosen another girl for him, he didn't want to marry anyone else besides Shifa. This younger generation thinks that we don't understand what they're holding in heart)

"I hope aapko koi masla nhi hoga Shifa aur Daniyal ke baat karne se..." Maryam wanted to clear her doubts, Mrs Kazmi understood her insecurity which brough a smile to her lips.

(I hope you don't mind Shifa talking to Daniyal)

"I value our rules and regulations but I'm not an Orthodox. I just want them to live happily."

"Ammi..." Shifa stood in front of Mrs kazmi to show the dress she was wearing but Maryam got two tiny tears in her eyes which she didn't let fall.

"Masha Allah...." Mrs Kazmi was overwhelmed by the simple yet beautiful look of her would-be daughter-in-law, she cupped Shifa's face with both hands and kissed her forehead. Maryam excused herself for a few minutes so that she being the jewellery that she had saved for Shifa. Eventually Shifa was alone with Mrs Kazni in the room. "Bohot pyari lag rahi hain aap.'' The compliment was honest but didn't bring smile to her lips.

(Looking pretty)

" thanks ammi"

"Aren't you happy, Shifa?"

"I'm." She lied without making eye contact meanwhile her mobile started ringing. "Talk to him," passing the mobile Mrs Kazmi took a step towards the door to give her some privacy but she stopped after listening a cold tone. "Hello."

"Shifa where are you? I was trying t..." She did not let him complete.

"Deni I'm very tired. I'll talk to you some other day. Allah Hafiz." She literally throw the mobile on the bed without noticing Mrs Kazmi who was watching her. "Shifa?"

"Yeah Ammi?"

"What is wrong between you and Daniyal?'' Asked the wise lady but Shifa just shook her head. "nothing."

"You were not crying because that rose but because of him. Right?" Shifa was silent on that question. Sometimes silence talks more than words, and this lady knew the art of understanding the language of silence.

"Bataiye mujhe kya kara hai Daniyal ne?"

(Tell me what has Daniyal done?)

"Nothing. Just anxious because of practical." She faked a smile but her eyes ditched her.

"Mujhe nhi pta aap dono ke beech kya baat hui hai jis se aap itna hurt ho gyi, lekin beta baat khatam karne ke liye baat karni zaruri hoti hai... Khamoshi ikhtiyaar karne se faasle ban jaate hain. Samjhi?" Shifa smiled and nod her head.

(I don't know what is going on between you two that hurt you so much, But dead, it is necessary to talk in order to end the dispute... silence creates distance. Got it?)

"Ji Ammi... Lekin sach mein, Deni ne mujhse kuch nhi kaha."

(Yeah Ammi, but honestly Deni haven't said anything to me)

"Chaliye ye to achhi baat hai, aur agar wo aapse kuch kahein bhi to main hu na... Main hamesha aapki side hu, aap mujhe bataiyega aur main unke kaan kheech kar aap se khada kar dungi." This time Shifa couldn't help but laughed, she knew very well how she treats her son.

(That's great, but if he ever come forward as a trouble maker, I'm always with you. Don't worry)

"You look beautiful while smiling. Masha Allah. And don't worry about practical, do preparation, Daniyal will drop you college by himself I promise." Shifa nodded with smile but she was deeply hurt.

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"Suniye."

"Hmm?"

"Aap Shifa se kab tak naraz rahenge?" Maryam asked in a hushed tone while placing her hand on Anwar's shoulder who was laying beside her.

(For how long you'll be offended with Shifa?)

"Main us se naraz nhi hu."

(I'm not offended with her.)

"Agar naraz nhi hain to ek baar to us se baat kar lijiye, kal se uski shadi ke function shuru ho rhe hain..." Maryam requested politely and Anwar furrowed.

(Talk to her at least once If you're not offended with her. It's her wedding)

"Mene puchha tha us se agar use kuch chahiye lekin usne mana kar diya, aur kese baat kru?"

(I asked her if she want something but she denied. What else could I do?)

"Ek baat batayenge?"

(Will you tell me one thing?)

"Hmm..."

"Agar Shifa aapki aur meri beti hoti to bhi kya aap sirf us se itna hi puchhte?" Anwar stay silent for a few moments then throw the blanket away from himself. Maryam was confused but soon she noticed Anwar leaving the room and he sat down in the courtyard.

(Even if Shifa was your own daughter would you have asked her only this?)

"I hate you Aatish." Maryam mumbled and her eyes pooled up with tears. 'Just because of you my daughter is craving for father's love. I've forgiven you for not being a good husband but I won't forgive you for not being a good father.' Words feel afraid to come out of her tongue so she only said that in her heart and gulped two sleeping pills.

Tomorrow was Shifa's Maiyon (Haldi ceremony), her new clothes were hanging in her room, home was partially decorated with fairy lights, and floral decorations were yet to be done but Shifa was unhappy. This time Daniyal wasn't the reason but Hamdan. She placed the mobile on the other ear without saying any word.

"Shaffo, Babu I'm trying to come but..."

"Bhai how it is possible that my brother is not attending my wedding?"

"I'll arrive a day before your wedding. I've been working on an important project that I can not delay."

"Bhai I'm angry with you, now I won't talk to you." She disconnects the call with great disappointment and lay down on the bed but not before picking up the book she need to study for practical. Numerous questions were popping in her head but answers were lost in the thin air of that room.

Life is a combination of weird, unexpected and unpredictable incidents.

Till a few hours ago she was over the moon regarding this marriage and now she's not feeling well about the idea of togetherness with Daniyal. She already knows he doesn't love her but sometimes one hurts own self by holding her expectations high. She found peace in him, just like one finds at home but now she's feeling the pain of being homeless...

Though...

A homeless person can survive but, not a hopeless one. Thankfully, she still has a small spark of hope hidden in the dark corner of her heart that one day Daniyal will forget Adeena and give her space to Shifa.

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