"Maryam You've spent 25 years with me, we've been go through every situation in these years. You have changed your entire self just for my sake and for that I love you, but..." passing a glass of water along with two sleeping pills Anwar confesses his love first time but with the same expressionless face. But that 'but' stopped Maryam to gulp those pills as she was waiting for him to complete the sentence

"But.. But what?" She asked and gulped the pills with water when Anwar gestures to do so and he let a harsh sigh out

"But...." He stopped himself to hurt her but that was must needed at that time "But I'm unable to give you Saba's place in my heart. She is still my first love... she passed away many years back but her love is still alive in my heart because true love never dies! First love is real love but second love is an adjustment which we do for forgetting the first one, but not every person is able to forget their first love." That was the confession of love which came from her husband after 25 years of marriage but along with a heart breaking reality.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Putting a stone on her heart she asked without showing any kind of disappointment but from inside she was feeling broken that even after spending two and a half decades with him he was still unable to give her space of his first wife.

"When I saw Daniyal for the first time I found a broken human being inside him. So you remember the incident when Shifa's hand was burnt because of boiling tea?" He stopped and Maryam nodded, "Daniyal's face didn't show any hint of pain for her, he was only ready to get married to Shifa, but I didn't find any kind of emotional attachment towards her... That's why I was against this marriage but that emotional fool didn't trust her STEP FATHER! What could I explain to her at that time? She was blind by Daniyal's love, I was a villain of her lovestory." Hurt pain was clearly visible in his voice because he honestly never wanted anything wrong for Shifa.

" Bachhi hai, galti ho gayi us se..."

(She is not mature enough to understand, she made a mistake.)

"Aisi galti tumne bhi to kari thi... Phir kyu nahi rook payi tum use? Apni zindagi barbaad kar ke baeth gayi hai wo!" Anwar said with disappointment, he wasn't angry but sorry for Shifa.

(You had also made such a mistake... Then why couldn't you stop her? She has ruined her life!)

"Ab kya hoga?" Maryam was stunned with the thought of the same painful ending of Shifa's marriage that she faced once. "Talaq ka ghum bohot bada hota hai, Shifa nahi seh payegi." she cried miserably. Anwar was sitting without any answer.

(What will happen now?)

(Shifa won't be able to tolerate the pain of being divorced, this pain is unbearable.)

"Shifa, Daniyal se bohot Mohabbat karti hai... Meri bachhi ke sath esa kyu ho rha hai?" She questioned Anwar who was again answerless. She kept crying silently for a good five minutes but suddenly a loud wimped left from her mouth which eched in the whole room making Anwar startled.

(Shifa loves Daniyal madly, why is this happening to my daughter?)

"Mene bhi to Aatish se aese hi Mohabbat kari thi, usne bhi mere sath yahi kara jo ab Daniyal Shifa ke sath kar raha hai" Maryam cried her heart out hiding her face in her palms.

(I had also loved Aatish in the same way but he also did the same what Daniyal is now doing with Shifa.)

"Maryam chup ho jao." Anwar caresses her back but she sees him with anger. "Kese chup ho jaun? Kese?" mumbling that she rested her head with the headboard.

(Stop crying, Maryam.)

(How could I stop crying? How?)

"Aap ko pta hai jab Aatish ne mujhe ta.. talaq di thi to mujhe kesa laga tha?" She asked with sniffles and tears. Anwar was only seeing her broken state he didn't have words to consolidate her.

(Do you know what I felt when Aatish gave me divorce?)

"Jab Aatish ne Pehli talaq di thi, to mujhe kuch samajh hi nahi aaya tha, main samajhne ki koshish kar rahi thi ye kya keh diya us ne?" She said without any expressions at her face but suddenly her lips trembled and eyes dropped new tears. "Aur Jab dusri talaq di to mujhe laga jese... Jese... Jese har cheez apni jagah ruk gayi ho. Meri dhadkan aur Saase bhi. Aur phir usne teesri talaq bhi de di." Maryam sigh and shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. For a moment Anwar was confused about how she stopped crying suddenly but Maryam resumed.

(When he gave me the first divorce I did not understand anything, I was trying to conclude what was going around me.)

(And when the second divorce was given, I felt as if... as if everything had stopped at its place. My heartbeat and breath too. And then he also gave the third divorce.)

"Jab Aatish ne teesri talaq di to mujhe kuch pta hi nahi chala. Bas esa laga jese main mar chuki hu. Ya shayad koi darawna khwab dekh rhi hu. Main us khwab se jaagne ki koshish kar rahi thi, kya aapko pata hai main Pagal ho gyi thi.. Main khud ko maar rahi thi us khwab se bahar aane ke liye..." Maryam cried with pain, frustration anger as well as sorrow. "Lekin wo koi khwab nhi tha... " She grit her teeth with frustration and anger.

(When Aatish divorced me third time I actually felt nothing, I just felt like I died at the same moment or it might be a nightmare. I wanted to come out of that nightmare, do you know I was crying and slapping myself to wake up so that the nightmare could come to its end.)

(But it wasn't a dream.)

"Aur aap keh rhe hain main chup ho jau? Kese chup ho jaun? Jo dard main aaj tak nahi bhula payi wo meri beti ko bhi milega, main kese chup ho jaun?" This time Maryam shouted at Anwar but he didn't utter a single word as he was seeing this side of Maryam the second time.

(But you are asking me to stop crying?how can I stop crying while knowing that my daughter will have to face the same pain which I'm unable to forget yet.)

"Aapko pta hai, jab mene pehli baar Shifa ko apni goud me uthaya tha to bas ek dua kari thi Allah se... Ki Meri beti ki qismat meri jesi na ho... Meri beti kabhi bhi wo dard na sahe jo mene saha tha. Lekin..." This time Anwar pulled Maryam in a tight hug. "Chup ho jao Maryam.... Chup ho jao" Anwar caressed her head.

(Do you know when I picked up Shifa in my arms I prayed to Allah for not giving her such pain that I had faced, I prayed that my daughter's destiny would not resemble me, but...)

(Stop crying Maryam, stop crying)

"kya galti hai meri bachhi ki?"

(What's my daughter's fault?)

"Maryam chup ho jao"

(stop crying, Maryam)

"Mujhe to aap chup kara rahe hain use kon chup karega? Subah se kamre me bethi roo rhi hai woo. Mujhme itni himmat nhi hai ki main use himmat du."

(At least you're trying to console me, but who'll console her? She is crying since morning in her room. I don't have the courage to give her strength.)

After that none of them utter a single word, Maryam was crying with hiccups for her daughter but soon her sobs weakened with each passing minute and then there was silence in the room. The sleeping pills worked well and now she was gulped by the slumber. After many months she had again taken the sleeping pills, after Shifa's marriage she stopped taking them as her fear was gone, she was more than happy and satisfied to see her daughter happy with Daniyal but today her fear came back after becoming even more powerful.

Anwar made her lay down on the bed but he himself was restless. Caressing the left side of his chest he walked out of the room as the four walls were becoming the source of suffocation for him but he was surprised to see Shifa sitting outside the room, her back was resting with the wall and she was gazing the sky just like she used to do in childhood, but today the twinkling of starts failed to make her happy.

Feeling some disturbance beside herself she lifted her gaze and Anwar sat down beside her. She wiped her tears and made herself stand to go back to her room but stopped by an order "Sit down," she was unable to refuse and just sat down beside her father silently.

"Yahi rahogi ya wapas jana chahti ho?" Anwar gave her a cold look and Shifa looked at him then shrugged.

(Will you live here or wanna go back?)

"I don't know what I want? I just want some happiness in my life." She didn't utter the last part clearly yet Anwar understood. "Aapko mere yaha rehne se koi problem to nhi hai na?" She asked and Anwar was silent for next few minutes, he didn't say a single word which weakened Shifa. Sometimes silence talk more than words... But this girl didn't know the art of reading silence.

(I hope you don't have any problem with me living here.)

"Hamdan aur Bilal mere bete hain, lekin tum meri beti nahi ho, Shifa." His voice came out like a whisper but it was enough to break her heart. She closed her eyes and a heavy teardrop fell off. Does it mean that Hamdan and Bilal could live in this home but she can't?

(Hamdan and Bilal are my sons, but you are not my daughter.)

"I know" she muttered while wiping her eyes but again a tear jumped out. Anwar's eyes were fixed on her face.

"Lekin tum mera gurur ho, Shifa." She suddenly looked up. "Papa" her eyes filled with fresh tears and he placed his big hand on my head.

(But you are my pride)

"Ye ghar tumhara hai, jab tak main zinda hu tumhe kisi cheez ki kami nhi hogi. Daniyal tumhe talaq dena chahta hai to de de, Meri beti mere liye bojh nahi hai. Koi zarurat nahi hai uske saamne minnate karne ki." Anwar said in his usual overbearing and heavy voice, Shifa felt his hand on her shoulder, he pulled his daughter in a side hug. For the first time ever she felt like she also had father's love in her destiny. For a few moments she forgot about every reason for her pain but cried out after placing my head on her father's shoulder.

(This is your home and as long as I am alive you will not face any problem. If Daniyal wants to divorce you, give it, my daughter is not a burden on me. No need to plead in front of him.)

"I'm sorry papa, mene aap ko hamesha galat samjha." She sobbed.

(I'm sorry papa, I always misunderstood you.)

"Tumne aaj tak koi galat kaam nhi kra sirf Daniyal se shadi karne ke alawa."

(You haven't done anything wrong till date except marrying Daniyal.)

"I.. I'm sorry, I didn't know that he would change like this." She muttered and Anwar let a cold sigh out, his hand was still present at Shifa's head and she was just crying out helplessly.

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"Teri biwi ko nhi aana to main kisi aur ko is program ka host bana du? I've altered the broadcasting from daily to once a week what else does she want now?" As soon as Daniyal stepped in David's cabin he almost yelled but Daniyal only glared at him in reply and took a seat, switching on the laptop he started working on his ongoing project without bothering to reply.

(If your wife doesn't want to come I'll appoint someone else to host this show.)

"All good?" David asked, his expressions shifted from anger to worry.

"Daniyal I'm asking something!"

"Lad kar chali gayi hai wo, mujhe nhi pta wapas aayegi bhi ya nhi." Daniyal replied with the same anger and David raised his left brow and smiled, he didn't know what's going on in Qasr-e-Kazmi so he wasn't serious yet.

(She has gone after arguing with me, I don't know whether will she come back or not?)

"Well, congratulations. Your honeymoon period is over, welcome to the real phase of marriage. Ladna, jhagadna, ghar chhod ke jaana phir wapas aana to chalta rahega to ye bata wo ayegi kab?"

(Arguments, clashes, bringing around and all will go on in the same way, you just tell me how when will she come back?)

"Adeena ghar mein hai isliye wo chali gayi."

(Adeena is in my home, that's why she left.)

"What? Where is she coming from? And what's she doing at your home?"

"She needs help, she is in a big problem yaar, she doesn't have a place to go back, her husband is no mo..."

"I know her husband is no more, she lives in a rented apartment with her son, she works in a reputed firm then how come she is at your place?"

"You know everything? How?" Daniyal was beyond shocked.

"Not from today but I know everything from a few days back your marriage with Shifa, but I knew very well that this girl is best for you, Adeena wasn't your match ever. You were crazy for him but she wasn't... Yaar open your eyes, I don't know why she's at your place but she was selfish ever since, don't create differences between you and your wife because of her Adeena."

"Please David now you are sounding like Shifa, what's your issues with Adeena from college days? And one more thing, I'm not creating differences between us, she left home, even I was pleading her to stay." Daniyal shut his laptop with a thud

"Listen to with all your ears and brain... Adeena was an opportunist, so she still is! And I'd say that Shifa did wrong by leaving home, she should kick you out from the home."

"David you and Shifa don't know anything that's why you're overreacting."

"So let us know dude." David hit the table top with rage and Daniyal smiled sadly. "I'm not like you, I know how to keep others' weaknesses secrets." For a moment David was shocked as his little statment sent him to guilt-trip. Once in college time David revealed a secret and after that Daniyal stayed alert before sharing major secrets with him.

"I was just a teen at that time. Well, hell with it, call Shifa right now and bring her back!" David yelled at his best friend but he didn't pay attention. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Can you shut your damn mouth?"

"Tu pagal ho gya hai!"

(You lost your mind.)

"Wo bhi yahi keh kar gyi hai." Daniyal muttered, his voice saddened.

(She said so before leaving.)

"Anyone can see that you love her madly, just call her back. I'm sure she'll come back she loves you too."

"She was loving me till yesterday, but now she hates me." Closing his eyes he hid his face in his palms and David smacked his forehead as he was also feeling helpless as well as confused.

What was that secret?

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