Only, only and onlyyy on Reader's Demand

(Warna main to kabhi nhi likhti ye chapter)

Stiffness in my neck.

Pain in the back. 

An injury in the leg

And a mild Headache

Conclusively A tiring day.

Inhaling the polluted air of Delhi and the iodoform of the hospital often give me a mild headache at the end of the day and now I'm used to it.

This day would be a little less tiring if I didn't choose a different route today...

I was in a hurry to arrive home but I arrived three hours later than usual. And now, after taking a bath, changing myself in a comfortable night suit that smelled of fabric conditioner, that I hate the most, I was free from all the burdens of a hard time I spent in the hospital today.

People respect doctors to save their lives but sometimes I feel like a villain. Stone-hearted. I see people crying in front of their loved ones, everyday I witnessed people fighting with their fate to conquer the life, some win this battle some lose. Their loss directly associated with their loved ones, they left them behind to moan and cry. I saw such crying faces almost every day but I never felt heartbroken. How stone-hearted!

My hands never shiver when people cry out of pain, I continue to do my work. My heart never missed a beat when I witnessed people losing their lives in my hands. My eyes never cry when I see people begging me to give life to their loved ones, that's not in my hands, however I try my best every single day. But, at the end of the day... I, unfortunately, was a heartless surgeon who can't feel the urge to cry after seeing this much pain.

It wasn't like I never cried.

It wasn't like I never felt heartbroken.

It wasn't like I never wished to change fate...

I did! I did feel all these emotions in the early 20's... I was crying for days and nights, I was praying a thousand times to change my fate and in the end... I was heartbroken.

And today... I remember all those things after witnessing the reason behind those tears and prayers.

Shifa.

I lied that I didn't have strong feelings for her, I didn't want to open the closed doors but it was also true that I didn't suffer as much as Shifa did. I only wish to get her in my life but she wished to get me while maintaining the balance between her parents' dignity, social norms, and her modesty.

The past stood in front of me after witnessing her. The voice I heard years ago through radio echoed in my ears as if it was playing in the background. Back then, I had seen a different Shifa who never glanced at me, who never looked happier around me, who just attended family functions with her mother and I was there every time to see her but after listening to that radio program I got to know that she used to see me through the pics she secretly saved in her mobile phone, she never looked happier around me because she didn't want to attract people towards her expressions, she attended all those family functions because I was there.

Our feelings were mutual. Our heartbreak was similar. However, our sufferings were different.

She wasn't happy because I wasn't with her and I wasn't happy because I was with a person whom I didn't love.

Shifa became a good actress to hide her pains and I became a good actor to hide my frustration that I felt seeing Aamna in my bedroom.

I didn't like Aamna for the first months of our marriage, I used to find ways to rush away from home, I didn't like her presence around me but she was also broken because of her father's health. She was finding support in me and I was unable to jerk off her... After all, I was the one who accepted her as my wife, that clearly means that she was my responsibility.

I acted to care for her, I acted to support her, I acted to love her and I didn't get to know when my acting converted into reality. In return of my acting Aamna was giving me the real love and respect, she was there for me, either at middle of the night or in the middle of nowhere... She trusted me, looked after me, supported me and above all... She loved me!

For how long one can neglect such a great wife for a girl who never glanced at him? Within two months I fell hard for the girl chosen by my parents and time made me forget the girl I liked once.

Moving on from Shifa was not difficult for me, because I had a lovely life partner but it was difficult for Shifa because she was battling with loneliness. But after getting a loving partner she's also happy in her life and I'm happy for her, otherwise I was dangling between self-condemnation and remorse.

"Daddy." A voice pulled me out from the chain of thoughts and I smiled looking at Kulsum, my younger daughter. She was half sleeping but how could she not come to meet me?

"Why aren't you sleeping?" I asked and she came near me, her arms spread open and eyes shut down. A silent demand to lift her and pat her back till she falls asleep one more time.

I didn't waste time. Carrying her fragile frame in my arms I kissed her cheeks and I got one kiss in return. "I missed you." She whispered adjusting her head on my chest , her little arms folded on her belly like a chick.

"I too missed my baby." She opened her eyes and smiled to show me the gap between her milk teeth. Signature look of a 5 year old.

"Today I was playing Ghar Ghar with aapi and mummy, we cooked roti and had our lunch but you weren't with us to play." There was a little disappointment in her big eyes, and I sighed.

The demand of this girl for me to play with dolls was never changing.

I never thought in my rarest dream while studying surgery that one day my little daughter will use my stitching skills to stitch her dolls' clothes. My holidays belong to her and only her sister. She mixed crushed spicy chips with sugar or biscuits or anything from her snacks to make her signature biryani. Unfortunately, every time I was the chief guest of that feast, it was mandatory for me to finish everything, either edible or not! And after the feast, she became the doctor and I became the father of her sick doll, I needed to look after her. By any chance if I refused to play with the dolls she stopped talking to me... And I couldn't afford it, so conclusively I understood that being a good doll father was necessary to survive as a Father.

"We will play with dolls on Sunday, or... I have an idea." She opened her eyes completely, her slumber was gone now. "I will take you to the Doll Museum. There are so many dolls with different outfits." I could see the visible shine in her eyes after getting that discription.

"Can we bring all the dolls home?" I laughed at the question and shook my head.

"You only can see them." I smiled and the shine of her eyes was gone. She snuggled in my arms and closed her eyes with disappointment and mumbled, "Then what's the benefit of visiting." I couldn't help but laughed and kissed her cheeks one more time. My little doll. For the next ten minutes I was patting her back with a thought that she would fall asleep but I was the one who was about to sleep when a voice echoed...

"Daddy."

"What's now?" I let a defeated cry out without opening my eyes but I didn't get an answer. Looking at her I found her already sleeping. I carried her to her room where my other daughter was already sleeping and my wife was sitting on the prayer mat with prayer beads in her hand.

Adjusting both of the girls in the bed I covered them properly and sat down beside Ayesha, my elder daughter. The linguistic meaning of Ayesha is Life... So was this girl! She brought life to my relationship with Aamna. She brought life to the dull walls of this house. She brought life to every single part of my heart that felt dead after losing my lovely parents.

"My baby." I kissed my life... My Ayesha. I was still leaning on kissing her other cheek when a figure walked near us carrying sweet floral mist in the air and a folded prayer mat along with a prayer bead in her hands. She blew, whatever she was reciting, on both the girls and looked at me. I waited for that blow like every night, she did her job like a ritual and silently walked out of the room. I also switched off the lights and walked to the bedroom. After a tiring day I wanted to sleep peacefully. Slipping into the cosy bed I saw my lady laying beside me.

My eyes closed down and my arm automatically curled around the figure next to me. How could I sleep peacefully without it? But the very next moment my arm swung away from her waist and my slumber from my eyes.

"What happened?" I asked her but she turned her side and I could see her back. "Aamna? I'm talking to you."

"Why are you talking to me? Don't talk na..." She didn't change her side.

"Kya ho gya? Adhi raat ko drama kyu dikha rahi ho yaar?" I was tired and frustrated because of this tiring day, now I couldn't handle one more task.

(What happened? Why are you showing drama at midnight?)

She turned her side and glared at me, I was unable to understand the reason but she kept glaring at me until her eyes filled with tears and they rolled down to be soaked by the pillow. "Aamna, will you tell me the reason behind these tears?"

She didn't say anything just closed her eyes while sniffle and I also turned my side to sleep. I haven't done anything that made her mad at me. I haven't been at home since early morning, she was happy when I left the home but now she was in a foul mood, and the reason was unknown to me.

"Aamna, ya to bata do ki problem kya hai, ya roona band kar do." I hate her crying face, she cries about everything, from a broken jewellery piece to a mild fever of our daughters, anything could make her cry.

(Aamna, either tell me what the problem is, or stop crying.)

"Aap hain problem." After all she said something but my blood boiled after hearing the reason behind her tears.

(You're the problem.)

"Then live problem free." Saying that I picked the pillow and walked out of the room after slamming the door after me.

Sometimes I felt stuck in a maze. I couldn't live without this woman but I couldn't live with her either... She is unpredictable. She never shared what she felt. To survive in a relationship we need to say what we feel, silence makes situations complicated but she stays silent, I had to ask her a thousand times about the reason behind her silence or tears.

Throwing the pillow on the couch of the hall I laid down to sleep but couldn't because of uncomfortable bedding. This day was only and only a struggle itself. Turning my side I saw the jug which was empty.

Ughhh

Walking to the kitchen I opened her fridge and my hand froze before grabbing the water bottle. A cake was resting in it.

Cake?

But why?

"No damn... Not again Faraz... Not again." Forgetting about my dry throat I rushed back to the bedroom where my crying lady was struggling to sleep.

"Aamna." She turned her side and ignored me

"Aamna..."

"Mera naam lete rehne se kya hoga? Kya kaam hai? Seedha boliye na." She was rude this time. But this was nothing new. We both knew how to show rudeness to each other and that was kind of our habit.

(What will happen if you keep taking my name? What do you want? Say it straight away.)

"I'm sorry, I forgot it again." I whispered while sitting on the bed, her back facing me. "Belated happy wedding anniversary." Leaning down I planted a kiss on her head but she pushed my hand away.

"Ab kya fayda?"

(What is the point now?)

"It's not that late, let's celebrate."

"Why can't you remember the day when I became the part of your life? You were so busy in dropping Shifa to her home that you forgot your home and wife? Why?"

"I'm sorry." I had nothing to say beside it. I was too bad with dates since childhood. "Aamna, I really am sorry."

"Tumne dinner kra tha ya nhi?"

(Did you have dinner or not?)

"Aapne to khaa liya na, bas kaafi hai."

(You have your dinner, that is enough.)

"Khana nhi khaogi to tumhara BP low ho jayega."

(Staying hungry will lower your blood pressure.)

"Let me sleep." She pushed my hand away, I sighed and picked up my mobile. For the next twenty minutes there was no voice in the room but then the doorbell rang. Aamna looked at me but I was busy with some work. She muttered something but stepped out of the room while grabbing the dupatta from the pillow I silently walked after her, she was receiving the parcel, she locked the door and I rushed back to the bedroom. Without wasting time I played the song I downloaded just now.

Ek din aap yu hum ko mil jayege

Phool hi phool raho mein khil jayenge

Maine sochaa na thaa

Ek din zindagi itani hogi hasi

Jhumegaa aasamaa gaaegi ye zami

Maine sochaa na thaa

"May I get the honor to have a dance with my lady love?" hand outstretched I asked on my knees and she glared at me but even in this darkness of room I could see her anger replaced by a well suppressed smile. I didn't waste time, grabbing the parcel from her hand I put it aside and my arms slipped around her waist.

Dil ki daali me kaliyaa khilane lagi

Jab nigaahe nigaaho se milane lagi

The song matched our situation when we peeped in the window of each other's souls. Her arms spread around my neck and head rested against my chest while mirroring the steps.

Dil ki daali me kaliyaa khilane lagi

Jab nigaahe nigaaho se milane lagi

Ek din is tarah hosh kho jaaege

Paas aaege madahosh ho jaaege

Maine sochaa na thaa

It wasn't a dance, it was just a close and tight hug while moving with rhythm and feeling that the lyrics that fit just perfect on us.

"Love you." I dug my face in her neck and couldn't help but lost in her fragrance. For the last many years I feel incomplete without this woman. "I love you so much." I muttered on her soft skin and remembered every single time we were this much close, even after so many years she still managed to play with the strings of my heart.

"But you forget my birthday and our marriage anniversary." I felt her moving away and I looked in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, can't help."

"At least set a reminder."

"Okay... When is your birthday? I'll set one." I asked honestly, she blinked in disbelief.

"Will you set a reminder for my birthday after asking me when is my birthday?" She forgot to dance and asked.

"Opening cupboard and drawing out your birthday certificate to remember the date will be a haste..." I was again honest but she huffed.

"Faraz..." Anger again started conquering her expressions.

"20 June..." I said, gulping on my nervousness. Maybe this was her birthday... Maybe.

"2 July." She glared at me. Disappointed

"Not too bad, you should appreciate your husband. Only 10 days difference is not a big deal." I smiled and kissed her cheek. I know how to control her anger but there was no control on my anger.

"You're such a..." She paused and broke the hug before walking towards the parcel. It was a platter of her favourite dishes. She glared at me but smiled and I got a kiss on my cheek in reply.

"You were saying something, I'm such a..." I asked.

"Good father." Opening the package she say down on the couch and I took my seat beside her. She made the first morsel and gave it to me.

"Only a good father?" I asked while chewing and she have the first bite.

"A good doctor too." I got another morsel but this time I grabbed it and gave it to her. I already overrated tonight, there was no space left in my stomach.

"Only a good father and a good doctor?" I asked

"You're all good Faraz but you're so bad with dates."

"Come on, this is life, not a history exam that we need to remember the dates... We can celebrate events a day later or ten days earlier." I winked and she gave me a morsel with a smirk.

I was confused about her expressions but this time I had the bite from her hand. As soon as I chew the bread folded with curry more with a big piece of green chilli my eyes widened.

"Your punishment to forget our wedding anniversary." And she was having the dinner very next moment.

"Aamna, that's not fair."

"Everything is fair in love and war... And this is love." She winked back

"But no less than a war crime." Hissing because of the hotness I said and she laughed.

"Want something sweet?" She asked while breaking a piece of gulab jamun from her platter and I nodded, she lifted the spoonful of that sweet towards my mouth but I held her hand and shook my head.

"I want something sweet, but not this." She was shocked for a moment but the very next moment I could see her blushing shyly.

"But I want to do dance." She placed the food pallet on the coffee table and we both started dancing on the same song playing on loop.

Jagamagaati huyi chandani raat hai

Raat hai yaa sitaaro ki baaraat hai

Ek din dil ki raaho me apane lie

Jal uthege mohabbat ke itane die

Maine sochaa na thaa

Maine sochaa na thaa

Maine sochaa na thaa

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Author's note:

Now don't ask me to write anything else in this story otherwise this book will convert into Ekta Kapoor's daily soap... Never-ending! 😅

Bye bye...

Naaz Jamal