The sky was full of dark clouds, loud thunder crackers were scaring her, she was locked in a dark room but a window was giving her the view of the sky. The environment was weird, she was unable to understand where she was kept and for how long... everything was different other than a feeling. Placing her hand on her belly she felt it swelled a little... She could feel her baby, but she was feeling a sharp pain too. In that complete darkness only thundering was providing light. After struggling countless times to come out of the room finally she gave up. Peeping out of the window she felt scared, it was so high as if the room was made up on a mountain top... she was already scared of heights. She was crying helplessly, shouting for help but there was no one to help her. When she was done with helplessness, miseries and suffocation she decided to take the bravest step of her life... or maybe the last step of her life. Wiping her tears she managed to stand on the frame of the window, the thundercracker glowed up the dark sky but before its sound hit her ears she closed her eyes and jumped off. She knew she would die, but she also knew that dying was a better option than this endless suffocation. She could feel herself falling from a very high point and preparing herself to die but something unexpected happened. She opened her eyes, still scared, and blinked blankly, she didn't fall on the rough, uneven floor but smoothly landed on a grass bed, looking here and there she found herself in a pretty garden which was full of blooming flowers, the left side of the garden was occupied with a pond which was full of ducks and the other side was occupied with numerous fruitful trees. Madiha smiled wholeheartedly and ran towards the trees. There she found a small tree which was not ordinary. It was showing some tiny flowers. Madiha plucked one of the flowers, smashing the flower in between her fingers she found a precious pearl from it... her eyes became wide and she walked towards the pond, near the pond there was a fountain of fresh water. Madiha sat down bearing the sharp pain in her abdomen and washed that pearl but it popped in between her fingers as if it was a berry not a pearl, and many tiny small gems came out of it, they all were about to flow away with running water but Madiha managed to save two of them, she opened her fist, there was two different coloured gems, her eyes weren't ready to go away from the gems, but her eyes were shining more than these precious gems.

"Pyare hain na?" A masculine voice from behind asked this question and Madiha turned back with a

big grin, but before she could lift her gaze to see the man she came out of this dream.

(Aren't they pretty?)

No garden, no flowers, no gems... just a dark room. Again closing her eyes she waited for a few moments to come out of the slumber completely. But she was still feeling that sharp pain in her abdomen.

Hissing with pain she turned her side and with a loud gasp her slumber was gone. Within a single second a gush of blood passed out from her body from the middle of her legs. Before she could accept what happened she felt her eyes flowing tears. Turning on the lamp she sat down on the bed, removing the sheet from herself she saw the bed... it was covered with blood and she just hid her face in her palms while crying aloud. Danish woke up because of the light and her crying.

"Kya musibat hai?" His question was not audible in between her crying, he sat down on the bed and sighed after understanding the reason behind this midnight crying, before he could go back to sleep Madiha rested her head on his chest and cried out while hugging him.

(What's wrong with you?)

He didn't react for next few minutes then slowly removed Madiha's head from his chest and grimaced while looking at the sheet. "Main dusre kamre me jaa raha hu." Yawning, he muttered and left his wife crying who just now lost her four months old pregnancy.

(I'm going to other room.)

<><><><>

After twelve hours:

"Madiha... Madiha utho..." she opened her eyes and found her husband standing in front of her.

(Wake up.)

"Main jaa raha hu,"

(I'm going.)

"Mat jaiye. Please." She muttered in a weak voice.

(Don't go. Please.)

"Kaam hai, jana zaruri hai."

(It's important, I've to go.)

"Chutti le lijiye, Mujhe akela chhod ke mat jaiye na. kya main aapke liye bilkul bhi zaruri nhi hu?" Bearing with headache, abdominal cramps and weakness she sat down on the bed and held his hand tightly but he removed it.

(Take leave, don't leave me alone. Am I not a single bit important to you?)

"Ye kya bachho ki tarha zidd kar rhi ho? Important conference hai Mera waha hona zaruri hai." Picking up his suitcase he turned to go but Madiha held his hand.

(What's this childish behaviour? It's an important conference, my presence is necessary.)

"Kam se kam Mujhe ek baar doctor ko to dikha dijiye, phir chale jaiyega."

(At least take me to a doctor, then go.)

"Main Saad se keh dunga wo tumhe hospital le jayega. Dikha dena doctor ko." Giving an order he walked towards the exit of room and Madiha cried out helplessly. She threw the pillow as well as water bottle from the side table to drew out her anger and frustration. Danish heard this voice, he came back and found Madiha crying, she was hugging her knees, resting her forehead knees. He glanced at his wrist watch and left.

(I'll tell Saad to take you to the hospital. Consult with the doctor.)

Ya Allah ye kesa aadmi hai? Na isi biwi se matlab hai na aulad se... Madiha asked in her heart but she couldn't do anything.

(Allah, what kind of man is he? Neither he thinks about his wife nor about his child.)

<><><><>

After four months:

Madiha was in the bedroom trying to understand what she should do but unfortunately there was nothing to do. After completing household work she was just lying in the bed like a lifeless frame. She picked up herself and just to pass some time she stood in front of the window seeing people going from one place to another. And a scene attracted her eyes. A couple was walking on the road holding the hand of their little girl. She smiled sadly and muttered "Masha allah" while closing the curtains. "Ya Allah, why aren't you giving me this blessing? Maybe he'll start loving me after becoming a father." She muttered and closed the window before walking towards the stairs with small steps. "Saad... Saad..." even after calling him many times he didn't respond. Going downstairs Madiha knocked the door of his room and it was already opened.

"Saad..." entering into the room she found it empty. Her brain gave her some signals and she checked the main door of the home. It was locked from outside. That was nothing new, Saad goes out of the home after locking the gate from outside as per Danish's instructions but today Saad forgot to took his mobile phone along. She picked the mobile to call her brother but stopped because there was no benefit... he must be busy in office work or if he's even free Madiha didn't want to disturb him when he was with his wife.

Picking up the mobile she dialled Danish's number and waited for some time but he didn't receive the call. Unable to understand the reason behind this ignorance she again dialled his number. In these seven days he didn't call her even once, moreover when she called him he either didn't answer or answered in a few sentences. He was rude ever but for the last six-seven months he was behaving as if Madiha didn't excit in his life.

She again dialled the number and this time the call was received. "Haan Saad?" And the call was received with this strict voice.

(Yeah Saad?)

"Umm... wo... Aap..." Madiha stammered, she didn't know why she called this man but she had only one hope in life whose name was starting with D and ending with H.

"Kuch bologi ya nahi?" He shouted and Madiha's self-respect was shattered one more time. "Wapas kab ayenge aap?" She asked in a hushed tone.

(Will you say something or not?)

(When will you come back?)

"Kyu?" He asked and she blinked blankly. Who asked the reason behind coming back home.

(Why?)

"Bolo? Kya kaam hai? Kuch chahiye?" He asked rudely.

(Tell me, what you have to do? Do you need something?)

"Kuch nhi chahiye, 10 din ho gye aapko gye huye, aur kitne din lagenge?"

(I don't need anything, but how long will you take? It's already been 10 days since you left.)

"2-3 din lagenge, kaam zyada hai yaha." His cold behaviour was unchanged but this time Madiha's eyes filled with tears. She knew it's not usual job... the way Danish was behaving with her, the way he was ignoring her, the way he was losing interest in her was not as simple as he was trying to show. Madiha was silently seeing everything it didn't mean that she couldn't feel anything. Earlier she was believing when Danish was going out of town for work but for last four months she was having doubts on him. However she never dared to question him directly.

(It'll take 2-3 days, there is a lot of work here.)

"2-3 din aur? Ye kesi conferences hoti hain aapki ki aap mahine ke 20 din ghar mein hi nhi aate? Main aapki biwi hu, ghar me pada hua koi saman to nhi ki aap mujhe bhul hi jaein." She muttered while trying to control herself to cry but the person on the other side of the call was smart enough to read her mind, what was the big deal in understanding her voice?

(2-3 days more? What kind of conferences are these that you don't come home for 20 days in a month? I am your wife, not a lifeless article lying in the house that you would forget.)

"Tum roo rhi ho?" His cold tone suddenly warmed up a bit and Madiha sobbed. She wasn't missing him. There was nothing in their relationship that she would miss Danish, but here she was tired of being imprisoned in this home, there was no one with whom she could talk. Seeing only walls around her, she was already tired, there was nothing around her which could give her a message of life and happiness. "Aapo kya farkh padta hai main roou ya hasu, zinda rahu ya mar jau..." She muttered and Danish cut the call.

(Are you crying?)

(Does it matter to you if I cry or laugh? If I'm alive or dead?)

Wiping her tears she sniffled, there was no place where she could go and spend some time with someone. For the last four months she was in the home, Danish already cut all her ties with her so called family and friends even her one and only real brother and she was silently tolerating everything with this hope that maybe he'll become better after this however he was becoming worse with passing time.

Numerous miscarriages, Danish's violence as well as rudeness, pressure of being pregnant again and give birth to a healthy baby, having a tag of infertile, and imprisonment in her own so called home were already doing evils with her mental health and now this new doubt...

Not only doubt but she was sure that Danish was having an affair.

"Bhabi, aap yaha..." the sound of door opening followed by Saad's voice forced Madiha to turn back and see him coming.

(Bhabi, you here?)

"Tumhare Bhai kaha hain? Main jaanti hu tumhe pata hai, batao mujhe kaha hai wo?" Madiha asked Saad, she wasn't sure if he knew anything or not, she was just trying to hit the target but her arrow missed it. Saad blinked blankly then shook his head.

(Where is your bhai? I know that you know everything, tell me where he is?)

"Mu... mujhe nhi pata."

(I... I don't know.)

"Sach keh rhe ho? Tumhe sach me nhi pta?" Madiha asked and Saad nodded.

(Really? Do you really don't know anything?)

Cleaning the fresh tears Madiha went upstairs again. Now these four walls were suffocating her. After taking a bath she changed herself in a fresh pair of clothes. Packed some food and dish out food for Saad. After wearing Abaya she covered her face properly she stole some money from Danish's cupboard and took her purse as well as the packed food.

"Saad." Knocking the door of his room she called him and he opened the door.

"Bhabi... "

"Your lunch." She passed the tray of food and he grabbed that silently. "Aap kaha jaa rahi hain bhabi?" He asked and Madiha nodded while sniffling.

(Where are you going bhabi?)

"Tum unhe phone kar ke bataoge na?" Asked Madiha in a trembling voice and wiped her tears again. Only her eyes were visible and those were the window of her scattered soul.

(If your bhai ask about me only then tell him about my going otherwise don't tell him. Please.

"Nhi... main to bas..."

(No... I'm just...)

"Jhut mat bolo Saad, main jaanti hu... tum unhe mere ek ek minat ki khabar dete ho. Main apne bhai se kitne minat baat karti hu, kya baat karti hu, tum sab jaante ho, tum to meri calls tak record karte ho, tumhe kya lagta hai mujhe kuch pta nhi chalta?" She revealed not only the secret of Saad but her pain too and Saad was silent as well as guilty.

(Don't tell a lie. I know that you pass the each detail of mine to him. You know for how long I talk to my brother, you know what I talk to him... even you record my calls... what do you think I don't notice?)

"Bhai kehte hain mujhse ye sab karne ko, warna main kabhi nhi..."

(Bhai asks me to do so, otherwise I would never...)

"Aaj mat batana please." She cried.

(Don't tell him today, please.)

"Theek hai, lekin aap jaa kaha rhi hain?"

(Fine, but where are you going?)

"Nhi pta ... bas kuch deyr ke liye is qaidkhane se nikalna chahti hu. Thak gyi hu main bina kisi saza ke qaid mein rehte rehte..."

(I don't know where I want to go? I just want to go away from this impressionmnt for some time. I'm tired of being a prisoner without any of my crime.)

"Aap apne bhai ke ghar jaa rhi hain?" Saad enquired and she chuckled dryly. "Tumhare Bhai ne is layaq nhi rehne diya ki main us ghar mein dobara qadam rakhu... yateem to main pehle hi thi, unhone to mujhe besahara bhi kar diya." Saying that she stepped out from the home and took a deep breath.

(Are you going to your brother's home?)

(Your bhai hasn't left a single room empty to close every door for me. I can't go anywhere. I was only an orphan earlier but he turned me into a helpless creature too.)

After four months she stepped out of the home. Saad picked the mobile to dial Danish's number but he remembered Madiha's pleadings. Closing his eyes he pushed the mobile in his pocket and stepped out of the home. After locking the door he followed Madiha and she didn't get to know that she was being followed. He maintained a good distance between them and saw her buying some medicines from a pharmacy then distributing food amongst beggars then she crossed the lane and stepped in the Badi Masjid. Saad was silent, he stepped in the mosque while maintaining the distance between them and saw Madiha going to the room which was reserved only for women. Kneeling down on the carpeted floor Madiha picked up a Quran from the shelf and open that while wiping the tears rolling down from her eyes.

Saad felt guilty, he knew that Madiha wasn't a characterless woman but he was doubting her, he wanted to know where she would go secretly in the absence of her husband but how wrong he was! After watching Madiha at the same place for more than half an hour he didn't waste more of his time and stepped out from the mosque.

<><><>

Madiha was still reading the Quran and crying continuously. After almost one hour she placed the Quran back on the shelf and made a cup with her palms.

"Allah paak ye konse gunaho ki saza mil rhi hai mujhe? Ghar jail aur zindagi saza ban gayi hai meri. Kis tarha is aziyat se bahar niklu? Agar ye mere hi gunaho ki saza hai to mujhe maaf karde, aur agar ye aazmaish hai to bas.... Ab main aur bardasht nahi kar sakti. Ab to mujhe khushiyan de de, teen saal ho gaye shadi ko mujhe 3 din bhi aese yaad nhi hain jab main puri tarha khush thi, aese konse gunah kare hain mene jiski saza khatam hi nhi hoti? Main unke liye sab kuch karti hu lekin wo mujhse theek tarha baat bhi nahi karte, kya woh sach kehte hain? Meri auqaat hi kya hai? Kya sach me main do koodi ki aurat hu? Ab to mere paas apna kehne ko bhi koi nahi hai, ek bhai hai jise main yaad bhi nhi hu, ek shohor hai jiske liye main ghar me pade kude se zyada kuch nahi hu, mere paas ab koi nhi hai aapke siwa."

(Allah Pak, for what sins am I being punished? My home is becoming a shelter for me and life have become my punishment. I don't know how to get out of this misery? If it's a punishment of my sins then forgive me and if it's a test then please, now I'm done! I can't tolerate it anymore. Now give me happiness and peace. It has been 3 years of my marriage but I don't remember even three days when I was entirely happy. What was my sin that I'm not getting a single day of relief? I do everything for him but he doesn't even talk to me properly, does he state a fact when he says that I'm worthless? Am I really a worthless woman? Now I don't have anyone whom I call my family, I have a brother who almost has forgotten and a husband for whom I'm just like a trash present in the home. I don't have anyone other than you.)

And she just cried helplessly, today she lost the treasure of tolerance, now she was broken but before she could ask for more her attention was grabbed by a voice which was echoing in the premises of the mosque.

It was the mid afternoon, the priest was delivering the after prayer sermon in the far away room but due to the microphones all the ladies could hear the words from the old man. In reality, women come to the mosque only to listen to these sermons every Thursday.

Madiha gave ears to the sermon while sniffling, fresh tears were still flowing out from her eyes.

"Chori karna gunah hai, aur aaj aurte apne gharo mein hi choori karti hain, apne haatho se apne gharo ki barkat kahtam karti hain." Madiha suddenly looked up towards the far away corner of the mosque... was the old man talking about her only? But what could she do if her husband did not give her money for her expenses as well as medicines?

(Theft is a sin, but today women steal from their own homes and destroy the blessings of their homes with their own hands.)

"Aaj ki aurto ko dekho, Are meri betiyon, meri behno tum koi aam aurat nhi ho tum to Khatoon-e-Jannat ki kaneezein ho. Shohor ki izzat karo, khawind ka muqaam to dekho itna bada hai! Aur aaj tum kya kar rhi ho? Chhoti chhoti chezo ke liye apne shohor se ladti ho? Agar shohor tumhare armaan pure nhi karta to tum us se nafrat karne lagti ho, uski buraiyan apni behno se apni saheliyon se karti ho? Umm-ul-Momineen Aisha (RA) se kuch seekho... Amma Aisha ka qaul hai ki unhone do mahine ghar me chulha jalte huye nhi dekha, pure do mahine khane ke liye kuchh nhi tha sirf khajur ke alawa, suno aurto, ise kehte hain sabr, Aisha (RA) ne kisi se shikayat nhi ki, koi shikwa nhi kiya... lekin agar aaj tum logo par koi musibat aa jaye to tum sabse pehle apne shohor ki shikayat karti ho, is gunah se bachoo."

(Look at today's women... my daughters, my sisters, you are not any ordinary women, you are the servants of Hazrat e Fatima, the leader of ladies in paradise. You should respect your husband, don't you know how high your husband's position is? But what are you doing today? You argue with your husband over small things! If your husband does not fulfill your wishes, then you start hating him, speak ill of him to your sisters and your friends! Learn something from the honourable mother of all believers, Aisha (RA). Aaisha (RA) reported that we used to see nothing to be cooked for two months other than two things i.e. dates and water. See, this is called patience. Aisha (RA) did not complain to anyone, she did not reproach... But if any trouble breaks you today, you will first blame your husband..., save yourself from this sin.)

(Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6459, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2972)

Madiha to

ok a deep breath, the sermon was still going on in the background but she took a deep breath and opened her purse. After searching for a long minute she finally got two papers which were her old prescriptions but the back side of the papers were empty. Drawing out the pen from the purse she scrabbled her name and address from the sheets then started writing something on the plain side.

Janab molana sahab

Assalamualaikum

Umeed karti hu aap kheriyat se honge aur Allah se dua hai ki aap aage aane wale waqt me bhi Allah ki hifz o amaan mein rahe. Molana sahab, main unhi behno mein se ek hu jo bohot se gunah karti hain. Main apne shohor ke peso mein se pese churati hu, unki peeth peeche unki burai karti hu, dil ki gehraiyon se unse nafrat karti hu, lekin main kitni gunahgaar hu ye mujhe aaj tak aapke alawa kisi aur se pta nhi chala tha. Shukriya meri aankhein kholne ke liye. Ab main chahti hu ki aap mere shohor ke liye bhi kuch bayan kar dein, unki bhi aankhein khulni chahiye.

Jab aap jese aalim log aadmiyon ke majme me beth ke ye bayan karte hain ki "aye aurto apne shohor ka dhyan rakho" tab aap log kyu bhul jaate hain ki hamare pyare nabi (pbuh) ne apne aakhri khutne mein bayan Kara tha ki "tum me se sabse behtar wo hai jo apni aurto ke sath behtar hai." Aaj ke Islam mein aur Hamare huzur ke laaye huye Islam mein bohot bada farkh hai, aur wo farkh payda karne wale aap jese log hain. Aap aurto ko sabr ki har misaal dete hain lekin mard ko mard Banna nahi sikhate.

Kya aapne minbar par baith kar kabhi aadmiyon ko ye baat batayi ki Daur e Islam se pehle aurto ke sath Arab mein kya hota tha? Janwaro se badtar haal tha aurto ka! Unhe samaan ki tarha khareeda aur becha jata tha, aurat se shadi koi nhi karta tha, use apni hawas mitane ke liye khareedte the, aur phir jab dil bhar jata tha tab use beech dete the or dusri aurat le aate the. Lekin hamare Nabi ne bataya ki aurat koi cheez nhi hai.

Kya aapne minbar par baith ke aadmiyon se ye sawal puchha ki kahi wo to apni biwi par zulm to nhi karte? Hamare pyare nabi (pbuh) ko Hazrat Khateeja ke alawa kisi aur azwaaj se aulad nhi thi, lekin huzur ne apni kisi bhi zooja ko qusurwaar nhi thehraya. Kya Aapne kabhi kisi aadmi se kaha ki agar tumhare ghar aulaad nhi rhi to Allah se dua kro, biwi par zulm nhi!

Hamare huzur ne to apni azwaaj par kabhi tashaddud nhi Kiya tha, phir aap kyu nhi batate aadmiyon ko ki aurat par hath uthana, use jaanwaro ki tarha maarna peetna gunah hai? Hamare huzur ne to bataya tha ki aurat jab nikkah me aati hai to aadmi uska ameen hota hai, aap ye baat yaad dilani kyu bhul jate hain molana sahab?

Hamare huzur ne to kaha tha ki kisi besahara aurt ko Sahara Dene ke liye usse nikkah kar lo aur use ek achhi zindagi faraham Karo, lekin aaj ke mard aur sasural wale to besahara aurat se nikkah karne ke baad use taane dete hain, har pal use uski auqaat yaad dilate hain, use zalil karte hain, 2 rooti, 2 kapde aur sar chhupane ke liye chaat dene ka ehsaan jatate hain... aap aese mardo ko kyu nhi kehte ki wo Seerat un Nabi ki taraf dekhe.

Hamare Islam ne to naik biwi ko aadha imaan banaya hai lekin jis Islam ki tableeq aap kar rhe hain usne biwi ko peyr ki juti aur ghar ki nookrani bana dala. Ye konsa Islam sikha rahe hain aap jisme saare sabr aurat ke hisse me aate hain aur sare haq aadmi ke hisse mein chale jaate hain, agar aap mard ko Islam sikha dein to shayad aurte khud hi uski gulaam ban jayegi, jab ek mard apni biwi ko itne pyaar aur izzat se rakhega jitna hamare huzur ne apni Azwaaj e mutahraat ko rakha tha to aurat uski burayi kabhi nahi karegi. Afsoos, aap Islam ko khud nhi samjhe aap dusro ko kya samjhayenge? Lekin yaad rakhiyega, mujh jesi hazaro aurte mehshar me aap se sawal pucch sakti hain ki kyu aapne hamare mardo ko sahi raaste par laane ki koshish nhi ki thi?

Kehne ko to abhi mere paas bohot kuchh hai lekin shayad aap aur sunna nhi chahenge.

Ummeed karti hu meri kisi baat ka aapko bura nhi laga hoga aur agar laga ho to maaf kariyega kyuki maaf karna bhi to hamare huzur ki sunnat hai.

Meri baate sunne ke liye shukriya

Allah hafiz

(See the translation in the end of the chapter.)

Madiha looked here and there, a little boy was sitting beside his mother, she gave him the folded papers and asked him to give it to the old man giving sermon, the boy looked towards his mother for permission and she looked at Madiha.

"Ye kya hai? Khwaab ki tabeer leni hai aapko molana sahab se? Wo to dusre molana hai jo khwabo ki tabeer batate hain." Said the lady when she thought that Madiha was going to tell her dream to the priest so that he told her the interpretation but Madiha furrowed.

(What's this? Do you want to know the interpretation of dream? But that is a different priest who interpret the dreams.)

"Wo molana kaha milenge jo khwabo ki tabeer dete hain?" Madiha asked and the lady pointed out the next room. Madiha thought for a moment then searched another paper from her purse, it was already full of bills, prescriptions and many more kind of papers. This time she wrote her dream on it with a note to thank in advance and passed the boy to deliver both the letters to different men. The boy again looked at his mother who nodded.

(Where can I find the priest who interpret the dreams?)

After some ten minutes the boy came back and told Madiha that he delivered the letter to the one who was delivering the sermon then passed the paper to Madiha which had her dream. In the bottom of the paper only two three lines were written in the reply. Before reading that Madiha gave a small amount of money to the boy as a token of gratitude and softly caressed his cheek. "Masha Allah, you're such a cute boy." She muttered and pulled her hand back but she wanted to kiss the cheeks of this cute little chubby boy but let it be and soon saw the boy going away from the mosque with his mother.

Unfolding the paper she glanced at the last few lines written with the black pen which were reading, Aapka khwab behtar hai, shayad aap kisi takleef mein hain, aap us aziyat se bahar ayengi aur aapke ghar 2 naik bete paida honge. Madiha was unable to believe what she read just now, she read the note at least ten times to believe in it then she saw the words of that note smudging because of the tears falling on them.

(Your dream is showing a positive response, maybe you're in a problem, you'll get out of it and will be blessed with two boys.)

Lifting her hands in the form of cups she again started crying, her heart was asking almighty for peace and happiness, she was already done with all the problems she was facing. This little note was looking like a lie but she wanted to believe in it.

"Kya hua beta? Itna kyun ro rahi ho?" Madiha suddenly lifted her head, there was an old lady standing beside her. Wiping her tears, Madiha shook her head but she was still sobbing. The lady came near Madiha to console her, as she was watching her crying for more than an hour.

(What happened dear why are you crying so much?)

"Pani piyogi?" Offering a bottle half filled with water the old lady asked and Madiha grabbed the bottle and the lady noticed a bruise on her wrist. Removing the niqab from her face Madiha took a small sip and the lady noticed two more bruises, one on the right cheekbone just beneath the eye and other on the corner of her mouth.

(Wanna have some water?)

"Jazakallah." Passing the bottle back to the lady Madiha mumbled and covered her face with the niqab one more time.

(May God bless you for this.)

"Kya hua hai beta? Koi baat hai to mujhe batao... ho sakta hai main tumhari madad kar saku." The lady asked and Madiha smiled sarcastically, her face was hidden so the lady was unable to see her expressions but her brown eyes were already telling the story of her pain.

(What happened dear? Tell me, maybe I'll be able to help you.)

"Koi kya madad karega meri jab Allah hi madad nhi kar raha." Madiha muttered and took a deep breath.

(Who'll help me if Allah is not helping me.)

"Dukh baantne se Kam hote hain aur khushiyan baantne se bad jaati hain... agar chaho to mujhe bata sakti ho ki kya pareshani hai, dard kuch Kam ho jayega.."

(Sorrows reduces and happiness increases by sharing… If you want, you can tell me what is the problem, the pain will reduce a little..)

"Dukh baantne se kam nhi hote aunty, bad jaate hain, jinse hum apne dukh kehte hain wo hume kamtar samajhne lagte hain..." Madiha said when she remembered her own Bhabi, Aamna, who was consern about evil eye casted by Madiha.

(Auntie, sorrows do not diminish by sharing, they increase. People with whom we share our sorrows start considering us inferior...)

The old lady was silent for a moment then sighed, "Aap kahi aas paas rehti ho?" She asked and Madiha nodded. "Akeli aayi ho... koi sath nahi aaya?" The lady asked in her polite voice

(Do you live near by?)

(Have you come alone or is there anyone with you?)

"Koi sath aane wala nhi tha, socha akele hi chali jaati hu." Resting her head with the wall Madiha muttered.

(There was no one to come with me, so I thought I would come alone.)

"Shadi shuda ho?" She asked, though the bangles in her wrist and nose pin already answered it clearly but the lady wanted to confirm and Madiha nodded in reply. "kitna arsa hua shadi ko?" She asked

(Are you married?)

(How long has it been since your marriage?)

Madiha sighed with pain. "3 saal ho gaye." She muttered and tried to remember something good about her married life but nothing came to her. The lady hummed, she opened a packet of biscuits and passed towards Madiha who slowly shook her head, but the motherly gesture of that lady forced her to accept in the second time.

(It has been 3 years.)

"Shukriya." Mumbling that Madiha took a biscuit and uncovered her face before taking a small bite.

"Ghar me kon kon hai, beta?" The lady asked another question and Madiha kept watching her for a long moment and thought for a few moments before replying, "Main aur mere shohor."

(How many members are there in your family?)

(Me and my husband only.)

"Aur bachhe?" Madiha suddenly lifted her eyes to look at the lady, the biscuit fell off from her hand. She had forgotten this topic just now but this friendly woman unknowingly gave her an unmatched pain. Madiha shook her head slowly while tears rolled down from her eyes, and she wiped her eyes while looking away to hide her tears. "Bachhe nhi hain." Madiha couldn't help but cried out silently and sniffled while wiping her tears.

(And children?)

(I don't have children.)

"Roote nhi hain beta, dua karo, achhe doctor ko dikhao." The lady felt sad to Madiha and she slowly patted her head, maybe she was seeing a daughter in her.

(Don't cry dear, consult a doctor and have faith in Allah.)

"Na dua kaam karti hai na dawa, kuchh nahi hota." Madiha just hid her face in her palms and cried silently as much as she could, maybe at this moment she only wanted to share whatever she was hiding inside her and this lady was giving her the required space to put her heart out.

(Nothing works, either prayers not medicine.)

"Shohor maarta Peet'ta hai kya?" After a silence of some five minutes the old yet beautiful lady asked in a hushed tone and Madiha suddenly looked up, her blood dried up with the thought of Danish knowing everything about this conversation.

"Umm... woo..." Madiha's heart was trembling with fear, did she tell the lady about Danish's violence by mistake? But no! How could she make such a mistake? She can't!

"Aa...aapse kisne kaha?" Madiha asked and followed the gaze of the old lady which was fixed on the bruise present on her wrist. Slightly pulling the sleeve of her Abaya Madiha covered her hand and sat straight.

(Who told you?)

"Naam kya hai tumhara?" The lady asked and Madiha shivered with fear, she was afraid... what if this lady knew Danish and was trying to recognise her?

(What's your name?)

"Main chalti hu, allah hafiz." She stood up and the old lady saw her with confusion. "Beta tumhara..." before the lady could say something Madiha was already out of the room with long steps.

(I'm going allah hafiz.)

(Listen, dear your...)

"Madihaaa... ruko beta." Madiha turned to see the old lady coming towards her with not so long steps but for a lady like her that speed was laster than usual. Madiha was showing that she knew her name... it means this lady must know Danish and she could tell him about this secret visit as well as this conversation.... she didn't want to be beaten by Danish again... that was so painful every time.

(Madihaaaa, wait dear.)

<><><><>

She was walking back to the home with a pondering heart, she was regretting taking water and biscuits from that unknown lady... why did she unveil her face in front of that lady? What if she knew Danish? What if she would tell him about this meeting? What if Danish got to know that she goes out of home without his permission? What if he will beat her again for this? And the last thought gave a fearful numbness to her heart and soul, she felt her hands turn cold... she didn't want to be beaten by her husband one more time... lost in her thoughts she was walking in the middle of the alley ignoring the horn blowing from behind when...

"Kaan kharab hain ya aakhein? Itni jagah nhi dikhti chalne ke liye? Ya horn ki awaz kaano me nhi aa rhi?" Yelled the man who was on the bike just behind her. Without any intention to see him she turned back with a fearful heart and her brown eyes met with the pair of his orbs. Both were shocked. "A..." Madiha was unable to utter any word, she just was watching the man present in front of her eyes. Her eyes moved towards the lady behind the man... she was holding him... not holding but hugging him resting her head on his back. Madiha kept watching him until he restarted the bike

and disappeared from her eyes.

(Are you deaf or blind? Can't you see the empty side of the road to walk? Or is the sound of the horn not reaching your ears?)

She blinked in disbelief and took some time to believe in what she just saw. Walking towards the home with the speed of a turtle she was trying to put two and two together but she didn't want to understand what the outcome showing.

"Bhabi kaha reh gayi thi aap? Bhai wapas aa gaye. Aapko puchh rhe hain." Said Saad as soon as Madiha stepped in the home. Untying her veil she climbed the stairs where Daniyal was sitting placing his left leg on the right one.

(Bhabi, where have you gone? Bhai is back and about you.)

"Kaha gyi thi?" Asked Danish while glaring at her

(Where have you gone?)

"Aap to sheher se bahar the, aur aapko bohot kaam tha... phir achanak..." Madiha asked while dropping the veil and purse on the side chair of that outdated sofa.

(You were out of town, and had a lot of work... then suddenly...)

"Mere peyth peeche kaha kaha jati rahi ho?"

(Where have you gone in my absence?)

"Pehle aap bataiye, aap kahan the." This time Madiha wasn't afraid, she asked confidently, Danish grit his teeth and stood up with a jolt.

(First you tell me where you were?)

"Kahan gyi thi? Teri harkatein bohot achhi tarah se jaanta hu main... sach bata kiske sath thi?" Danish roared and Madiha glared at him for the first time.

(Where did she go? I know your deeds very well... tell me the truth, with whom were you?)

"Sheher se bahar jaane ka jhuth bol kar main dusre aadmiyon ke sath nhi ghum rahi... aap khud kisi aurat ke sath the lekin mere kirdaar par keechad uchhal rahe hain! Mujhe yaha qaid me daal kar aap bahar affair chala rahe hain... Mujhe dhokha dee rahe hain! Aapko sharam nhi aati?" Madiha yelled. She could tolerate everything but unfaithfulnees. Danish saw the strong woman one more time but he smirked like making fun of her.

(I am not hanging out with other men by lying about going out of town. You yourself were with another woman but you are doing my character assassination! By keeping me imprisoned here, you are having an affair outside... you're cheating on me! Don't you have some shame left with you?)

Taking steps closer to her he stood just an inch away from her and looked directly into her eyes. Gritting his teeth he clenched her jaw in his big hand which suddenly loosen Madiha's confidence.

"Aahh..." she cried while trying to push his hand away but couldn't, "Mujhe tujh se chhup ke affair chalane ki zarurat nahi hai." he whispered just an inch away from her face, "Chhodiye." She punches his arm to free herself but he tightened the grip which forced Madiha to yell out of pain.

(I don't have to have an affair at your back.)

(Leave me.)

"Mera kisi se affair nhi charaha... Biwi hai wo meri..." and he pushed her like a lifeless doll. Madiha fell down on the floor, her back hit against the wooden arm of rocking chair, her jaw bone was feeling like it'll be cracked any moment but she was unable to feel any of them... Danish already gave her most horrible pain.

(I'm not having an affair, she's my wife.)

Tears rolled down from her eyes and rest of the body forgot to work. Danish saw her condition and glared at her again. "Jab Tak auqaat na le le sukun nhi milta na tujhe... do koodi ki aurat." Yelling at her he stepped towards the bedroom but a voice stopped him.

(You can't find peace until you get your dose... Worthless Woman.)

"Aap dusri shadi kese kar sakte hai? Danish main aapki biwi hu..." She tried to shout but only could mutter, Danish turned to saw her and gave an unexpected look... as if she was trying to beg for her status in his life but he was refusing to give.

(How can you get married to someone else when I'm your wife.)

"Tu sirf biwi hai, wo mere bachhe ki maa hai. Tu teen saal mein jo khushi nhi de saki usne sirf 11 mahine me de di." Madiha was shocked... did she hear something wrong? Did he really said that that woman was the mother of his child... did he already become a father? That's why he wasn't effected by her two pregnancies in these ten months? Was he using her body like a s*x doll while he was focusing on his second wife and her pregnancy.

(You're only my wife, she's the mother of my child too. She has given me the happiness in only 10 months that you are unable to give me in three years.)

She kept watching the man who was her husband and stood up from her place. "Aa.. maga..." she tried to say something but what? She didn't know.

Why every pain comes to her share?

Why every deprivation comes to her destiny?

Why every wish of her comes to others goblet?

Why?

"Aap mere sath nainsaafi kar rahe hain." She cried helplessly while mumbling.

(You are being unfair to me.)

"Main na insaafi kar rha hu? Main? 3 saal se tujh jesi do koodi ki aurat ko jheel raha hu. Tujhme hai hi kya? Na shakal achhi hai, na aqal hai, na kirdaar achha hai... teri badkirdaari ko chhupa kar izzat se tujhe is ghar me aasra de rakha hai, ehsaan faramosh... tu badkirdaar hai, tu is layaq hi nhi hai ki maa ban sake..."

(Am I being unfair to you? Really? I've been tolerating a worthless woman like you for three years. What quality do you have? Neither do you have a good appearance and intelligence nor have a good character. You, ungrateful woman, I've been hiding your lacklustre character and giving you shelter... you're a characterless woman, you're not worthy to become a mother.)

She inhale his heavy words, let herself absorb every toxin and breath our pain with tears.

After some two hours she was still sitting at the same place where she feel down after hearing those harsh words and a hand grabbed her shoulder. She turned back to saw the owner of that hand.

"Bhabi aap yaha kyu bethi hui hain?" She was Humaira followed by Umera. They both came after getting a call from Saad, to come and see what was happening in between Madiha and Danish.

(Bhabi why are you sitting here?)

"Hmm... wo..." Madiha blinked silently and tried to stood up but couldn't.

"Kya hua aapko?" Umera asked while kneeling down in front of her. Saad was standing at a few distance away.

(What happened to you?)

"Where is Bhai?" Asked both sisters one by one.

"Humaira..." Madiha muttered. She had always treated Humaira like a sister and right now she was waiting for a sister's shoulder to cry.

"Ji bhabi?" Humaira replied worriedly

"Unhone dusri shadi kar li... meri kya galti hai mujhe ye to bata do..." Madiha was crying when a voice stopped her.

(He got married again... Tell me what my mistake is?)

"Bhai ki bhi kya galti hai agar wo ek beta chahte the aur aap unki ye khwahish Puri nhi kar paa rhi thi?" Madiha suddenly looked up at Umera, how easily she defended her brother.

(What is bhai's fault if he wanted a son and you were unable to fulfil his wish?)

"Aur mere efforts, meri khidmate, mera din raat unka dhyan rakhna, unka gussa bardash karna, unki daant, maar, taane, galiyan sab seh kar unse hi wafa karna... wo kuch mayine nhi rakhta kisi ki nazro mein?" Asked Madiha while crying but this was Humaira's turn.

(And my efforts, my service, my taking care of him day and night, bearing his anger, enduring his scoldings, beatings, taunts, abuses and still being loyal to him... don't you people keep them in accounts?)

"Bhai aapki bohot fikar karte hain bhabi, aap hurt hongi isliye to unhone ye baat aapse chhupayi." Humaira kneeled in front of Madiha and told her a white lie which was truth for her.

(Bhai cares a lot about you, bhabi. You must be hust, that's why he hid this from you.)

"Iska matlab... Tum dono ko sab pta tha..." Madiha mumbled helplessly. She was shocked and unable to believe that Umera and Humaira who were behaving so nice to her actually betraying her too. She looked at Saad with questioning eyes "Saad, tumhe bhi sab kuch pta tha?" Saad just bowed his head with embarrassment and Madiha looked at three of them one by one.

(It means... you two already knew it?)

(Saad, you also knew. Didn't you?)

"Hum sab jaante hain aapke paas koi ghar nhi hai isi liye bhabi ko... mera matlab Gohor bhabi ko us chhote se ghar me rakha hua hai aur aap itne bade ghar me raaj kar rhi hain." Madiha was running out of words but she managed to express her pain. Now she understood why from almost one year Saad was not bringing rent of Danish's other house.

(We all know that you don't have any house, that's why Bhabhi... I mean Gohor Bhabhi has been kept in that small house and you are ruling such a big house.)

"Raaj kar rahi hu? Ise raaj karna kehte hain?"

(Ruling the house? Is this what one can call ruling?)

"Bhabi ye baat to aapko maanni padegi ki bhai aapko kisi cheez ki kami nhi hone dete... achhe kapde, achha khana... har cheez ka dhyan rakhte hain wo. Haan kabhi kabhi bohot gussa karte hain lekin phir bhi aap ko itni achhi tarha se rakhte hain... jitna wo aapki zarurato ka dhyan rakhte hain Gohor bhabi ka us se aadha bhi dhyan nhi rakhte. Wo bechari to kabhi koi shikayat bhi nhi karti..." Madiha smiled sarcastically on Umera's reasoning

(Bhabi, you have to accept that bhai does not let you lack anything... good clothes, good food... he takes care of everything. Hmm he gets very angry at times but still he takes care of you in such a good way..., he doesn't take care of Gohor Bhabhi even half as much as you. That poor woman never even complain about anything.)

"Umera, tum apne Bhai ke ehsaan aese jata rhi ho jese maine Rani ban kar waqt guzar hai is ghar me. Jis din main is ghar mein aayi thi us din tumhare Bhai ne saaf saaf keh diya tha ki mujhe tum dono ki maa ka haq nibhana hai... Maine is ghar me aate hi sirf zimmedariyan sambhali hain, koi ideal married life nhi jii." And she walked towards her bedroom where her husband was sleeping peacefully.

(Umera, You have been returning your brother's favors as if I am spending my time in this house like a queen. The day I came to this house after getting married, your bhai clearly told me that I have to fulfill the place of your mother... I came to the house only to take care of the responsibilities, I did not live an ideal married life.)

She wanted to sleep so that when she woke up the next morning it all came out as a horrible nightmare however she was wrong... it wasn't a nightmare but reality. And realities become worse in the dark nights as they hug you like a icy blanket and do not let the slumber consume you.

The same was happening with Madiha. Every harsh word of Danish was echoing in her ears. Standing in front of the mirror she was trying to recognise herself but where she was? This wasn't the same Madiha who came to this house three years five months ago! That girl was worthy to be praised but this woman was a  Do koodi ki aurat.

(Worthless Woman.)

Na shakal achhi hai, na aqal hai, na kirdaar achha hai...

(Neither you have a good appearance and intelligence nor a good character.)

Ehsaan faramosh...

(Ungrateful woman.)

Badkirdaar

(Characterless.)

Tu is layaq hi nhi hai ki maa ban sake...

(You're not worthy to become a mother.)

According to Danish she was 'do koodi ki aurat' the worthless woman! Yes! She was worthless because a blacksmith can't estimate the value of a gem... he only can hammer it, scatter it and turn it into dust...

Madiha stood up in front of the mirror and saw her reflection... Danish was correct again! Na shakal achhi hai, who would say she is beautiful? Eyes covered with dark circles, pale skin with dark spots, dried and chapped lips, uncombed messy hair... how correct Danish was!

na aqal hai, she was still with him... isn't it proof of her dumbness?

na hi kirdaar achha hai... but She doesn't know what she had done in these three years which tagged her with the label of Badkirdaar (characterless).

Tu is layaq hi nhi hai ki maa ban sake... Was he correct? Was she really not deserving of being a mother? If yes, then why?

And, last but not the least, Ehsaan faramosh aurat... The ungrateful woman. Danish was so correct! She was ungrateful! She should be grateful to this man for introducing her to the reality that marriage is Not a Fairy Tale.

<><><><>

Shikwa bhi kru to kese?

Wo samajhta hi nhi meri baatein...

Meri khamoshi se hai bezaar wo

Chubhti hain use meri baatein.

....

Aasuo ko pi kar muskura kr bhi dekha

Jo wo rutha kabhi mujhse, use mana kr bhi dekha

Badal liya mene khud ko ek use khush krne ke khatir

Rishta tha hamara gulaab sa, ke chubhte the uske kaatein.

....

Taare aur Chandni ne hai dekha mere aasuo ka rela,

Mere dil, jazbaat aur zindagi se wo ek shaqk kese khela

Phir aaya ek wo din, ke chhod kya wo mujh ko

Aasuo ke selaab mein jaane gawaiyi hain kitni raatein

...

Ab jaa kar samajh aaya, kya paya mene aur kya khoya

Mohabbat ke naam mene tha ek kaaton bhara shajar boya

Wafa ki rasme aksar nibha rahi thi main akele,

Reh gyi ab main tanha, satati rhi uski yaadein

(PS: You can just ignore these lines, mene bas likh di thi without thinking even once, I know na isme koi theek rhyming scheme hai na hi poetic devices... this is not even jugalbandi, 😅it's just laffazi... hayyyy... Daniyal Kazmi ki yaad aa gyi 😍😍😌😌

My Deni 😍😌...

Achha achha...

Shifa ka Deni 😒

So for now...

Bye bye...

Wait... letter ka translation to reh hi gya 😭😭😭 I don't want to translate, kuchh cheezein urdu me hi achhi lagti hain.

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Translation of Madiha's letter

Respected Molana (Priest) Sahib

Greetings,

I hope you are well and wish for your goodness in the future too. Molana sahab, I'm one of those sisters who are sinners. I steal money from my husband's money, I backbite him, I hate him from the deepest core of my heart... I do everything but no one ever told me that I'm such a big sinner, but today you have done this work. Thanks for putting light on my deeds and opening my eyes. Now I want you to say something for my husband also, his eyes should also be opened.

When learned people like you openly say in the gathering of men that "O women, take care of your husband" then why do you people forget that our beloved Prophet (PBUH) stated in his last sermon that "The best among you is he who is best with his wives." There is a big difference between today's Islam and the Islam brought by our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), and those who create that difference are people like you. You give every example of patience to women but do not teach men the art of being a man.

Have you ever told the men in your sermons about what used to happen to women in Arabia before Islam? The condition of women was worse than that of animals! They were bought and sold like goods, no one would marry a woman, they would buy her to quench their thirst, and then when they were bored, they would sell her and take another woman. But our Prophet (Pbuh) taught us that women are not a thing.

Have you ever questioned the men if they abuse their wives? Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) did not have children from any other wife except Hazrat Khatija, But the Prophet did not blame any of his wife. Have you ever told any man that if you do not have children, then pray to Allah, don't blame your wife and don't be cruel to her.

Our prophet (Pbuh) hasn't shown any kind of cruelty on his wives, then why don't you tell men that it is a sin to lay hands on women and treat them like animals? Our beloved Prophet had told us that when a woman ties the knot of marriage, the man becomes her protector, why do you forget to remind us of this, Molana Sahib?

Our prophet (Pbuh) had taught the men to marry a destitute woman and give her a good life, but what do today's husbands and in-laws do? After getting married to a helpless woman they do not let a single chance go to taunt her. They highlight the status of her before married life, humiliate her, show their greatness to provide her two meals a day, clothes to wear and provide her shelter. Why don't you tell such men to look at the loving and caring character of our Prophet (pbuh)?

Our Islam has declared a righteous wife half of faith, but the Islam you are promoting has made the wife a worthless woman and a maid of the house. Which Islam are you teaching in which all the patience comes into the goblet of a woman and all the rights go in the hand of a man? If you teach proper Islam to your man, then maybe the woman herself will become his slave, if a man keeps his wife with as much love and respect as our prophet (Pbuh) has kept his wives, then surely the woman will never think ill of him. Alas, you yourself don't understand the Islam, how will you teach others? But remember, thousands of women like me may question you, on the day of judgement, that why you did not try to bring our men on the right path?

I have a lot to say right now but perhaps you don't want to hear more.

I hope you did not feel bad about anything I said and if you did then forgive me because forgiving is also the Sunnah (doing) of our Prophet (peace be upon him).

Thanks for listening to me

Allah hafiz

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Longest chapter of the book yet...

Ufff... main to thak gyi Bhai sahab...

😅

Bye bye...

N.J