Aesa lagta hai meri shadi nhi hui mujhe koi saza mili hai.

(It seems that I have not got some punishment in the name of marriage.)

.....

Ladki ko pasand ka shohor milega to wo khush hi hogi. Khud se 10-15 saal bada shohor wo bhi dikhne mein kuch khaas nahi ho to bechari ladki kya kre?

(A girl would surely be happy to get a desirable husband, who can be happy after getting a husband who is 10-15 years older than her?)

.....

Unke sath mera dum ghut'ta hai, dil chahta hai wo ghar aaye to main kahi chali jaun.

(I feel suffocated with him, when he comes home I want to go somewhere.)

......

Iske bhi to kuch armaan honge na apne shohor ke hawale se, Danish iske layaq nhi hai.

(She must have some wishes regarding her life partner too, Danish is not worthy to have her.)

......

Ye rishta meri majburi hai,

(This relationship is my forsakenness,)

Echoes from the past were not letting him stay in peace, till a few days ago he was feeling complete with this woman but now he was seeing her with anger. She was a liar! She smiles when he comes back home, she does his every work like a ritual, she takes care of his every need but she doesn't do anything honestly! She does everything like a burden however displays as if it was her true self!

Liar!

Deceiver!

And he hates liars!

She was sleeping peacefully beside him, he was only watching her for the last half an hour and trying to conclude what should be done in this situation?

"Aap soye nhi abhi tak?" She opened her eyes and asked in a sleepy voice, Danish came out from his thoughts and closed his eyes without replying.

(You haven't slept yet?)

"Kya hua hai aapko? Aap kisi wajah se pareshan hain kya? Itne din se dekh rahi hu aap bohot chup chup hain." Placing her hand on his hand she asked in a hushed tone and Danish opened his eyes he looked at Madiha's face then at her hand and without any hesitation he jerked her hand off from his hand. She was shocked, blinking blankly she was only seeing his face, his eyes were again close as if he was sleeping but no, he was awake.

(What has happened to you? Are you upset for some reason? I have been watching for so many days that you are very silent.)

"Aap mujhse naraz hain? Galti kya hai meri? Jab se wapas aayi hu tab se aap mujhse baat hi nhi kar rahe. Main waha zidd karke to nhi ruki thi, aapse ijazat le ke ruki thi. Agar aapko etraaz tha to keh dete main nhi rukti," after all her forbearance ended at this point, and she said whatever she wanted to say. And Danish opened his eyes just for a moment to glanced at her but his glance wasn't less than a glare.

(Are you angry with me? What is my fault? You are not even talking to me since I came back. I wasn't staying there without informing you, I asked your permission first. If you had any objections, you could have told me not to stay.)

"Mene kab kaha mujhe tumhare waha rukne se etraaz tha? Achha hi hua tum waha ruk gyi." He replied without even opening his eyes. For the last few days he was thankful to the wallet that he forgot in Mohsin's room, because he got to know the reality when he went to take that wallet.

(When did I say that I had a problem with your stay? It's good you stayed there.)

"Agar koi etraaz nhi hai to mujhe is tarah se ignore kyu kar rahe hain? Main kuch bolti hu to jawab nhi dete, main saamne hoti hu to aesa behave karte hain jese main exist hi nhi karti. Aap kis jurm ki saza de rahe hain mujhe?" Madiha was frustrated as well as clueless about the reason behind his cold behaviour.

(If there were no objections, then why are they ignoring me like this? When I say something, you don't respond; when I'm in front of you, you behave as if I don't even exist. What crime are you punishing me for?)

"Mere paas tumhare faaltu sawalo ke jawab dene ka waqt nhi hai. Meri early morning shift chal rhi hai mujhe soone do." He didn't even open his eyes to see Madiha, for next few moments she kept watching him and her eyes filled with tears.

(I don't have time to answer your useless questions. I am on an early morning shift, let me sleep.)

"Aapke liye mere sawaal faaltu hain ya main?" She asked in a hushed tone, Danish was not sleeping but he didn't bother to pay attention to her. He forgets whatever he does or say within a few minutes but he was unable to forget what Madiha said fifteen days ago.

(Are my questions useless to you or am I?)

Throwing away the sheet from herself she sat down on the bed with dangling legs. "Main jaanti hu aap soo nhi rahe." She muttered and in the reply he adjusted the sheet, turned his side and ignored her words as if she said nothing.

(I know you are not sleeping.)

Madiha looked at his back, how effectively he told her that he know the way to ignore her. Wiping her eyes she walked out from the bedroom and resting her back with the wall she sat down on the floor of the living room. No one has ever given her this kind of silent treatment. He was making her feel useless and worthless.

Galti kya hai meri? Kis baat ki saza de rahe hain ye mujhe?

(What's my fault? What is he punishing me for?)

She sniffled while trying to remind what she had done wrong or if she missed something but couldn't remember anything.

She was doing everything for Danish, not leaving a single room empty to serve him still he wasn't happy with her.

Enough of this crying, for how long will I cry for him? She wiped her tears and stood up from the floor, drawing out a book from the bookshelf she started to read.

Before getting married she used to do only three works in free time. Reading books. Writing short stories. And talking to someone.

"Khamosh kyu ho Madam?"

(Madam, why are you silent?)

"Kehno ko kuch hai hi nhi."

(There is nothing to say.)

"Kuchh to hai, Madam."

(There is something.)

"Nhi, kuchh bhi nhi hai."

(No, nothing.)

"Madiha, Tum roo rhi ho?"

(Madiha, Are you crying?)

"Nhi, bas thak gyi hu," she tried her best to hide her shivering voice.

(No, I'm just tired.)

"Ghar ke kaamo se to tum kabhi nhi thakti Madam, phir kis baat se thak gyi?"

(Madam, you never get tired of household chores, then what are you tired of?)

"Main is khamoshi se thak gyi hu, Ammi ki tabiyat kharab rehti hai, unse kuch keh nhi sakti, Mohsin office se thak kar ghar wapas aata hai, us se kya baat kru?"

(I am tired of this silence, Ammi is unwell, I cannot share anything with her, Mohsin comes back home tired from office, I don't find in myself to talk to him?)

"Main hu na, ek berozgar, bekaar insaan... Karo mujhse baatein, jitni chahe utni baate karo. Puri zindagi tumhari baatein sun sakta hu main. Bas rooya na karo, mujhe bura lagta hai."

(Here is an unemployed, useless man... talk to me, talk as much as you want. I can listen to you all my life. Just don't cry, I don't like when you cry.)

Madiha closed the book with a thud and threw it to the other side of the sofa. She could close that book but what about the book of memories? She was unable to throw it away from her mind. "Agar mera roona itna bura lagta tha to apne sath khush rehne ka haq to dete mujhe."

(If tears hurt you so much, then you should have given me the right to live happily with you.)

Fresh tears rolled down from her beautiful eyes as she walked back to the bedroom. This time Danish was sleeping peacefully after taking away the peace of her mind and heart.

It's too late to think about him... His chapter is already closed.

Setting an early morning alarm she also slept with a burden on her heart.

<><><><>

He was sitting on the sofa, having tea with rusk and glancing at his mobile phone occasionally. Madiha came towards him in a hurry, placed his well polished brown shoes near his feet and a pair of socks on his left side of the sofa before going back to the bedroom. In some two minutes she was back with his wallet, a handkerchief, his wrist watch, waist belt and pen. Placing everything in front of him on the coffee table she glanced at his face and dared to open her mouth to say something but very next moment the whistle of pressure cooker told her that she was needed in the kitchen. Without wasting much time she rushed to the kitchen to prepare Danish's lunch box.

On the other hand Saad came up stairs and Danish looked at him with furrowed brows.

"Aaj tu jaldi uth gya?"

(You woke up early today?)

"Bhai," Saad passed a bundle of notes that he collected from the tenants yesterday to Danish and he grabbed it, counting the notes twice he nodded and gestured Saad to sit. "Bhai wo kiraydar keh rhe the ki agle mahine wo ghar khali kar denge." Saad passed a piece of information and Danish nodded.

(Bhai, the tenants were saying that they'll vacate the house next month.)

"Broker se baat kar le, naye kiraydar dhundh le." He ordered in his overbearing voice and at the same time Madiha came out from the kitchen with a glass of water and a small bowl of dry fruits. She placed it in front of Danish and turned to go but stopped by his voice.

(Talk to the broker, to get the new tenants.)

"Saad ke liye chai bana do." It was an order she turned to see Saad then glanced at Danish, he ordered her as if she was not his wife but maid.

(Make tea for Saad.)

"Ji theek hai. Aapko aur kuch chahiye?" Madiha asked and waited for a reply while looking at her husband but one more time he didn't bother to look at her even once, nor did he say a single word in reply. She got tears but without wasting her time and emotions she walked back to the kitchen. Saad noticed her tears as well as eyes which were fixed on her husband.

"Bhai kal bhabi roo rhi thi." The information didn't starlet him but something else. "Tu upar kyu aaya tha? Bulaya tha isne?" Danish asked and Saad opened his mouth to reply in the time being Madiha came back with a tiffin box and cup of tea.

(Bhai, yesterday bhabi was crying.)

(Why did you come upstairs? Did she call you?)

"Jaa tu apna kaam kar, aur ye le." Passing few notes to Saad from the bundle Danish dismissed him and looked at Madiha who turned to go to the bedroom.

(Go do your work, and take this.)

"Maine kaha tha na meri gair-mojudgi mein Saad ko upar na bulana, phir kal kyu bulaya tha use?" His eyes were horrifying Madiha, she felt a different kind of tingling in her left arm cheek while seeing in his eyes.

(I told you not to call Saad upstairs in my absence, then why did you call him yesterday?)

"Maine nhi bulaya tha, wo pese dene aaya tha to mene keh diya tha jab aap ayenge tab aapko hi de de." Madiha told him the truth and he glared at her before having the dry fruits.

(I had not called him, he had come to give the money, so I told him to give it to you only when you come.)

"Ye pese locker mein rakh do." Wearing his shoes he ordered her without looking at her.

(Keep the money in the locker.)

"Aaj to aap jaldi aayenge na? Yaad hai na Umera aur Humaira aayegi aaj." Madiha tried to remind him of today's plan, it was like a ritual for Danish to invite her sisters for dinner every next weekend, but he ignored as if he did not listen to anything.

(Will you come early today? Do you remember Umera and Humaira will come today.)

"Woo.. aapse kaha tha na... Storeroom ki light kharab ho gyi hai, use theek karwa dijiye." She tried to talk to him one more time and he again ignored her. She lost her count how many times he had made her feel unwanted and useless these days. She was on the urge of crying but controlling herself.

(Umm... I told you that the light of the storeroom is not working. Get it fixed.)

"Ka..kal aapki chhutti hogi ya jana hai? Agar jana hoga to main aapki uniform press kar ke dungi." her voice was shivering and tears were about to roll down but somehow she controlled herself, however Danish was unaffected. Without even glancing at Madiha he wore his waist belt, tied his wrist watch and picking up his accessories he turned to go. Madiha broke down one more time, she was not a dummy but a human being who could feel her insult through this silent treatment.

(Will you have a day off tomorrow or do you have to go on duty? If you have to go, I'll iron your uniform.)

Danish was walking towards the stairs but as soon as he stepped on the upper most stair a crying voice stopped him.

"15 din ho gaye hain aap mujhe kis galti ki saza de rahe hain? Mujhe meri galti hi bata dijiye." Madiha was tired by now.

(It's been 15 days, for what mistake are you punishing me? Just tell me my mistake.)

"Hazar baar kaha hai ghar se jaate waqt ye roota hua chehra na dikhaya karo pura din mera mood kharab rehta hai." He yelled from the top of his lungs and Madiha felt a jolt in her chest. With a clear intention to save herself from another scolding she rushed back to the bedroom while wiping her tears but her tears suddenly dried up and she gulped due to fear.

(I've told you a thousand times, don't show this crying face when I'm leaving home; it ruins my mood for the whole day.)

"Why I do these mistakes?" She smacked her forehead and grabbed his bike keys from the nightstand. Cursing herself to forget giving him keys she rushed downstairs and found Saad taking steps towards the stairs.

"Bhabi wo... Bike..." Before he could say something Madiha passed the keys to Saad while seeing Danish who was already glaring at her, grabbing the keys he mounted on the bike. "Ab yahi khadi rahogi kya? Jaao upar." Glaring at her he shouted and started his bike. Madiha ran upstairs while wiping her tears with dupatta.

(Will you stand here only? Go upstairs.)

Does such husbands really exist who smile looking at their wives? Does husband and wife really feel something for each other? I feel nothing for him. Or do I?

Maybe I hate him...

But I don't wanna hate him. I want to live a good life with him.

"Bhabi." A call near the staircase grabbed her attention and she wiped her tears while sitting properly. "Haa Saad?" She tried to say it in a normal way but couldn't, her voice was shivering. Saad came upstairs and stopped for a while then maintained a smile on his face which was something between cute and innocent.

"Bhabi aap roo rhi hain?" Kneeling on the floor in front of Madiha he asked in a hushed tone and She shook her head while looking away and cleaning her fresh tears.

(Bhabi are you crying?)

"Oh, to aapke hasne ka style thoda alag hai!" He chirped and Madiha blinked blankly, she took almost two minutes to understand the meaning of this sarcasm which only wanted to make her smile.

(Oh, so your say of smiling is a bit different.)

"Kya kaam hai Saad?" Instead of smiling Madiha asked an important question and Saad sighed dramatically.

(Do you have some work, Saad?)

"Kya main bina kisi wajah ke upar nhi aa sakta? Bhai to khadoos the hi aap bhi unki tarha banti jaa rhi hain." He said in his overdramatic way and Madiha stopped crying, she think for a moment and wiped those tears which were about to roll down from the shaft of her eyes.

(Can't I come up for no reason? Bhai was khadoos, you are also becoming like him.)

"Mera ek kaam karoge?"

(Will you do a work for me?)

"Ji boliye na! Saad to Aladdin ke chirag ka wo jinn hai jo sirf 3 nhi anginat..." Before Saad could gave a long yet useless speech Madiha let a loud breath out and kind of glared at him.

(Yeah, just order! Saad is that Genie of Aladdin who not only fulfills 3 wishes but...)

"Chup raho, tumhe faltu baate karne mein bohot maza aata hai."

(Oh just shut up Saad. You love to speak nonsense.)

"Achha to aap kaam ki baat bata dijiye. Lekin asal mein na bhabi ye sab aapki badti umar ki nishani hai, budhape mein log sanjeeda ho hi jate hain." Saad enjoyed teasing her and she huffed.

(You tell me the useful stuff. But in reality, Bhabi, all this is a sign of your aging, people become serious in old age.)

"Dafa ho jao yaha se." She pointed towards the stairs and Saad smacked his forehead. Usually Danish uses these words but now Madiha was also doing without even noticing.

(Get lost.)

"Bhabi mujhe to lagta tha shadi ke baad Bhai sudhar jayenge, lekin unhone to aapko hi apne jesa budha aur khadoos bana diya."

(Bhai, I used to think that bhai would become better after marriage, but he has made you an old and wretched like himself.)

"Tumhare Bhai ko pta chala na ki tum unki itni tareefe karte ho to tumhe Ghar se bahar nikal denge."

(If your brother finds out that you praise him so much, he will throw you out of the house.)

"Abhi aap Saad ki powers ko jaanti nhi hain, bhai ko to main sambhal lunga, aap kaam bataiye, kya kaam tha aapko?" Saad raised his imaginary collar while saying the first part and he said the last part with a innocent smile. Madiha kept watching his face for a few moments then smiled like a sarcasm. He didn't know that his so-called brother had strictly prohibited his entry upstairs in his absence.

(You don't know Saad's powers, yet. I will handle Bhai, you just tell me the work, what was your work?)

"Saad, mera mobile recharge kara do." Madiha requested and Saad nodded with full of enthusiasm but she suddenly remembered something, "lekin apne Bhai ko na batana." This was also a request which changed Saad's expressions.

(Saad, would you please recharge my mobile?)

(But don't tell your bhai.)

"Bhai aapka mobile recharge nhi karate?" It was difficult for Saad to digest this fact but Madiha was unable to explain everything in front of Saad.

(Doesn't Bhai recharge your mobile?)

"Wo bhul gye honge." Madiha tried to hide many things behind those few words but Saad shook his head.

(He must have forgotten.)

"Bhai kuch nhi bhulte, un baato ke alawa jo wo gusse mein keh dete hain." Saad registered a valid point and Madiha stayed silent because she did not want to talk about Danish, only his name gave her an unpleasant feeling so she wanted to get rid of that feeling at least in his absence.

(Bhai doesn't forget anything except what he says out of anger.)

"Wait for a minute, I'm bringing money." She said in a hushed tone and walked towards the bedroom leaving Saad on the same spot.

Fifteen days ago she came back from her uncle's home after a two days and three night long stay. When she came back Danish was already present at home, from that time he was giving her the same silent treatment. Cherry on the cake, when he was checking her mobile secretly a call from an unknown number appeared on her mobile, when he received the call he got to know that it was Zeba, Madiha's school time friend. Zeba said that she took Madiha's number from Humaira but Danish wanted to made sure that Madiha would never talk to Zeba... Moreover Zeba's husband, Shahzaib! Danish didn't like Shahzaib in the very first glance, Madiha was too friendly with him and by talking to Zeba, Madiha could be more friendly with her husband. So Danish wanted to find out a way to break the medium of conversation between the friends and Madiha made it much easier by telling him the same night that she needed her mobile to be recharged. And from that time to now, almost fifteen days, Danish was not getting the recharge done.

Madiha opened the cupboard then insert the keys in the locker. A few bundles of notes were already present there. She gulped and picked a bundle from many. But this is theft! And committing theft is a sin. She put the bundle of notes back in the locker but then again took it out as it was her need. Pulling only one note from the bundle she looked here and there as if someone was sitting in the room watching her. He won't get to know if one note from so many will be missing. Or will he? She asked herself and Danish's bloodshot eyes appeared somewhere in her senses which shivered her and she put the note back in the bundle but then again grabbed it. He never counts on the money, he won't get to know. It's just five hundred rupees. Placing the bundle in the same position she locked the cupboard and walked towards the living room.

This is how we humans live in the world created by Allah! We are not afraid of Allah but other humans because we know, Allah forgives us on the bases of our intentions however other humans judge us for our actions. We all are the same as Madiha! She should be afraid of Allah to commit a sin but she was afraid of Danish.

"Saad." She muttered and he nodded while standing up from his spot. Gulping in fear she looked at the five hundred rupees note present in her hand. "Mera mobile number pta hai na?" Madiha asked and slowly passed the note towards him. He nodded in reply while lifting his hand to grab the money but she closed the note in her fist.

(You know my number, right?)

"Rehne do! Main unse hi keh dungi." Suddenly Danish's roar echoed somewhere in the back of her head and she felt her hands and legs turning numb. She pulled her hand back with fear dancing on her face but Saad held his hand ahead.

(Let it be, I'll ask him only.)

"Main Bhai ko nhi bataunga." Sensing her fear Saad whispered and Madiha looked at her fist then towards him. Sometimes Saad reminds her of Mohsin, they both were of same age, almost same physique and the same caring nature. But there was a difference too, she could trust Mohsin as he was her brother but she couldn't trust Saad because he was Danish's brother, of course not real brother but no less than a brother. And for Saad, Danish was like a Godfather.

(I won't tell bhai about this.)

"Pakka na?" She shifted her eyes down to hide the shine of tears, she was afraid of the consequences of Saad passing this information to Danish.

(Promise?)

"Promise." He whispered and walked downstairs after taking money from Madiha's hand.

After a few minutes Madiha's mobile beeped showing a notification that her mobile was recharged now. And she dialled a number without any delay.

"Hello."

"15 din ho gye hain Mohsin, agar main call nhi karti to tumhe yaad nhi aata ki tumhari koi behen bhi hai." As soon as the call was received from the other side she burst out with anger.

(Mohsin, it's been 15 days, if I don't call, you don't remember that you have a sister.)

"Kya ho gya hai aapi itna gussa kyu kar rhi hain? Main busy tha."

(What happened, why are you so angry? I was busy.)

"Aese bhi kya busy the ki behen ko ek call bhi nhi kar sakte the?" Madiha asked trying to conceal her anger but she was actually angry with Mohsin to forget her.

(Were you so busy that you couldn't even make a call to your sister?)

"Aapi main pura din free to nhi betha rehta, aur aapne bhi to in 15 din mein ek baar bhi nhi puchha ki main Zinda bhi hu ya mar gya!" Mohsin was sounding frustrated but Madiha cried out because it was the first time when he shouted at her.

(Aapi, I don't sit free all day, do I? And in these 15 days you didn't ask even once whether I was alive or dead!)

"Mohsin..." she was unable to gather words to say anything in reply but she didn't want to tell her brother about Danish's silent treatment. "Cheekh kyu rahe ho, Mohsin? Main bhi to Ghar ke kaamo ke beech tumse baat karne ke liye waqt nikal rahi hu. Main tumhe bhuli nhi hu."

(Why are you shouting? I'm also drawing out time to talk to you.)

"Aap sirf ghar ka kaam karti hain lekin main job karta hu, phir ghar jaa kar apne liye khana banata hu apne kapde dhota hu, main to kabhi aapse shikayat nhi karta ki aap kyu mera dhyan rakhne nhi aati!" And the very next moment Madiha listened a beep which indicated that the call was disconnected.

(You only handle household chores but I do a job then cook for myself after going back to the home, do laundry and other works too, but I never complain regarding your irresponsible behaviour towards me.)

Madiha just closed her eyes as she couldn't do nothing.