Danish was angry, it was not an easy day for him. From the very beginning of the day to the late evening he was working without any break. His suspension period was already over because the allegation was taken back. He knew to get what he wanted, either by hook or crook! He entered in the home with a tired face, grabbing the bike keys he took only a step towards stairs when a voice grabbed his attention. "Bhai main to aapko batana bhul hi gya th..." before Saad could complete his sentence Danish threw a glare at him which stopped this boy from saying anything else.

(Bhai i almost forgot to tell you th...)

"Kisi din apna naam pta na bhul jaiyo..." saying that he didn't bother to listen to what Saad was saying and walked upstairs.

(Just Don't forget your name and address someday)

Danish was surprised to see the condition of his home, Maybe either Humaira or Umera had visited in his absence that's why it was clean otherwise since morning the home was looking like a Junk yard. The home wasn't only clean but a mild fragrance of food was roaming in the air.

Now he was sure that one of his sisters had visited, because from the time Madiha left one of them was coming occasionally and doing these works. Stepping in the bedroom he was surprised, the room was clean, unlike the morning. A fine string of smoke, coming from an incense stick, was appearing in the corner of the room then disappearing in the air leaving a sweet yet mild fragrance. The bedsheet and the pillow cases were also changed. There were two pillows on the right side of the bed, and a single thin pillow on the left side. No one could do that other than one. Only one woman knew that he would grab another pillow while sleeping. "Madiha." A whisper left his mouth, looking here and there he found her nowhere. The bathroom was empty, she wasn't even present in the kitchen.

Where could she go?

Terrace. The only place in the home that Danish didn't check. Walking upstairs he listened the jingling of her bangles which was enough to make sure that his wife was back.

Sitting in front of the running tap she was rinsing clothes, a batch of clothes was present in the washing machine and other batch was already hanging on the rope. Madiha didn't show any kind of attention towards the man standing behind her however his footsteps already told her about his presence.

"Wapas aa gyi, kya hua tumhare Mamu se tumhe ek mahine bhi bardasht nhi Kiya gya?" He asked but Madiha still didn't turn towards him and kept doing her work.

(Oh so you come back! What happened, your mamu hasn't tolerated you even for a month?)

"Chai bana do mere liye." It was a rude order and Madiha turned to see him, her eyes filled with tears and already red nose tip was yelling that she was crying silently. Washing her hands she stood up from her place and walked towards the stairs while blinking her eyes to gulp the tears but the shamelessly flew down.

(Make me tea.)

"Aur ek baat kaan khool ke sun lo." Before she could walk downstairs Danish's voice stopped her. "Ye ghar se jane wala drama mene is baar bardasht kar liya hai har baar nhi karunga, aaj ke baad agar ye drama dikha kar jao to dimaag mein bitha kar jana ki wapas aane ke liye is ghar ke darwaze band milenge." Madiha kept watching him silently for a long minute then smiled bitterly.

(And, my mark words.)

(This time I've tolerated your drama regarding going away but I won't tolerate it in future. There will be no place for you in this home if you ever dare to leave the home like this.)

"Aapne mujhse shadi isi liye kari thi na kyuki aap achhi tarha jante the mayke ke naam par mere paas koi sahara nhi hoga, aap jese chahe wese mujhe istemaal kar lenge." Wiping her eyes she questioned him but didn't wait for an answer. Danish was surprised, his wife knew how to answer him? That was a new discovery for him but it didn't affect him much.

(You had chosen me to get married because you knew very well that I would have no support in the form of maternal family, you'll use me according to your will.)

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There was a silence in the room, Neither Danish nor Madiha was sleeping but there was no space in between them for talking. They both were facing opposite to each other for the last one hour and now without any particular reason they both turned their sides simultaneously, their eyes met giving two different feelings to both the hearts but for Madiha this man was becoming least important so without giving any kind of attention she just closed her eyes but Danish was unable to copy his wife's act. He was waiting from the day one of their marriage for Madiha to show some kind of love towards him but his wait was not getting over at all, however he did nothing to give her a reason to love him. But according to him he was providing Madiha everything she needed so he was not guilty in his own eyes.

"Maan'ne wali baat hai, tum ho bohot badi bemurawwat!" Danish's whispering voice forced Madiha to open her eyes.

(Well, I have to admit, you're such an insincere woman.)

"Murawwat ki baat aap na karein to behtar hoga, aapne kitni wafa aur murawwat kar li mujhse? Wafa ke liye bharosa karna padta hai aap to bina baat ke shak karte rehte hain. Jis halat mein main hu us halat mein to janwaro par bhi log rehem kar dete hain aapne to mujhe janwaro se bhi badtar treat kra, lekin sari galtiyan sirf meri hoti hain. Hai na?" Surprisingly Danish didn't show any kind of anger in reply but silently held her hand while shifting a bit closer to her.

(It'll be good if you don't talk about sincerity, how sincere are you towards me? Trust is important in every relationship but you doubt without any reason. People do mercy even on animals when they're in the situation I am in right now, but you treated me worse than animals, still you've all the complaints from me. Great.)

"Us din main gusse mein tha, hath uth gya... konsa har rooz maarta hu." His hand slowly cupped Madiha's face but she was in no mood to become his toy one more time, without thinking much she just pushed his hand away. "Abhi to tum nakhre dikha rahi ho aur main tumhe mana raha hu, ye hai meri wafa aur murawwat." Again cupping her face with his big hand he whispered. Madiha was seeing the audacity of this man, how bravely he was proving himself innocent.

(Other day I was angry that's why I became violent, otherwise I don't beat you daily.)

(Right now you're showing tantrums and I'm trying to bring you around. That's my sincerity in this relationship.)

"Talaq dene ki baat kar rahe the aap, ye hai aapki wafa?" Madiha put a direct question but Danish furrowed. "Talaq di to nhi na!"

(You were planning for a divorce, is this your sincerity?)

(I didn't divorce you, right?)

"Aapka kya bharosa? Aap to de bhi dete!" She pushed his hand and closed her eyes.

(Can't trust you, you could do anything.)

For the next few minutes there was a silence in between them, for the first time Madiha felt that she won in an argument with him but the very next moment Danish's whispering voice echoed in the

room.

"Yahi to pareshani hai, tum mujhe samajhti hi nhi ho, main tumhare liye kuch bhi kar lu tumhe sirf meri buraiyan hi dikhti hain."

(That's the problem, you don't understand me. You only see my flaws and ignore the efforts I make for you.)

Is aadmi se to baat karna hi bekaar hai. Madiha told herself in her heart and closed her eyes.

(There is no benefit of talking to this man.)

"Madiha, tum sun bhi rhi ho ya nhi?" She was unable to ignore this call, removing her arm from her eyes she looked at him and gave him a requesting look.

(Madiha, Are you even listening to me or not?)

"Mujhe soone dijiye, main thak gyi hu." She again closed her eyes after mumbling that but Danish was not satisfied with this behaviour of his wife.

(I'm tired, let me sleep.)

"Tumhe kyu samajh nhi aata ki main tumhare sath ek khushhal aur sukun bhari zindagi guzarna chahta hu!" He muttered and Madiha again opened her eyes to see him, for a long minute she was seeing this man who was behaving so nice right now. Can't he be so nice all the time. This is the only thing she wants. Peace.

(Why don't you understand that I want to live a happy and peaceful life with you?)

"Main bhi to yahi chahti hu." Madiha muttered after a long silence but this time she again cried. She was doing her best to make her marriage work but this man was not understanding her feelings and efforts. She was from those people who can't forget behaviours easily, however, in the case of Danish she was forcing herself to forget everything so that they both could live a happy life.

(I also want the same.)

Shifting closer to Madiha, Danish curled his arm around her waist and pulled her in his embrace. For a few moments she was unable to understand what to do but the very next moment she cried out and rested her head on his arm while hugging him tightly.

This man was not her love however this man was her first and last hope.

The moment Mamu had chosen his daughter over Madiha, this girl realised her worth. She was just a burden on her uncle's shoulder from which he got rid on the name of marriage. Mohsin suggested her to wait for a few more days so that he could arrange a rented apartment but Madiha wasn't so selfish to waste her brother's money for her own comfort, she knew very well that it was the hard earned income of her brother which he was saving to buy his own house. She couldn't play with Mohsin's future for a comfortable life. Eventually she decided to come back but she was unable to forget and forgive mamu, he shouldn't back off like this after marrying off Madiha to Danish. She didn't run away from home, she respected his decision silently, how could he put all the blame on Madiha's destiny now?

Danish looked at his chest, his wife was still sobbing silently, without bothering to hush her he let her crying. Danish was smiling seeing Madiha getting emotionally weak, she needed a supporter and he was becoming his support. He was not happy to be her support however he was happy as he knew, no matter whatever he does, eventually Madiha will come back to him only, where else could she go?

"Main aapke alawa kisi aur ko nhi dekhti, kisi ke bare mein nhi sochti kya aap mujh par itna bhi bharosa nhi kar sakte? Biwi hu main aapki, aapko mujh par bharosa hona chahiye." Without shifting away from his embrace, Madiha cried out helplessly. She was disheartened after seeing her uncle and aunt's behaviour, and right now she was so broken that she was searching for support in the same person who was responsible for her emotional breakdown.

(I do not think about anyone else but you, I don't pay attention to anyone else but you... you should trust me, I'm your wife.)

She kept crying on his chest but Danish was not listening to her, he was only seeing his future with this woman and his family, especially his children. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and let it go with satisfaction. For the last few years he was longing for this feeling, whenever he saw the people of his age enjoying their family life he realised what he had been missing in handling the responsibilities of his home but now the feeling of contentment was not leaving him.

"Madiha." Danish muttered. She, who was crying till a few moments ago, looked at him; one more time she didn't like this man by looks but nodded in response, 'ji?'

"Main apne bete ka naam Hamza rakhunga." He whispered with a smile and she felt his hand traveling from her waist to her little baby bump.

(I'll name my son Hamza.)

Madiha felt happy to know that he thinks about his child, she smiled and nodded. She one more time saw a ray of hope in the form of this man and her child.

Maybe he'll be changed after the birth of this child.

Maybe he'll start trusting her.

Maybe he'll be a better father than a husband.

"Aur beti huyi to uska naam Wajia rakhunga." He said in a hushed tone and noticed Madiha's expressions shifting towards sadness. Her small smile was lost somewhere in the thin air and she closed her eyes, but Danish saw a shine of tears in them.

(And if it's a daughter then I'll name her Wajia.)

"Kya hua?" Danish asked in a hushed tone.

(What happened?)

"Abbu ki yaad aa gayi, wo hamesha kehte the ki betiyan to..." before Madiha could complete her sentence Danish's hand kind of pushed her away from his embrace and he huffed with frustration as well as disappointment.

(It reminds me of my abbu, he used to say that daughters ar...)

"Jab koi baat kro tumhare pas koi na koi masla zarur hota hai jiske liye tum baith ke roo sako. Kabhi tumhe apna Bhai yaad aa jata hai kabhi koi aur... dafa ho jao yaha se."

(You always have a matter to cry when I talk to you. Either you remember your brother or anyone else... get lost from here.)

Madiha was clueless about this reaction of her husband, she didn't know what she said wrong? Just a moment ago she was seeing a ray of hope but now there was complete darkness all around the sky of her life. She didn't know how to handle this very situation.

"I... I'm sorry. I... I just..." grabbing his arm she muttered, she didn't know what to say in this situation. "Madiha mera dimaag kharab na karo, dafa ho jao yaha se." Pushing her hand away from his arm he grit her teeth which was enough to make Madiha's heartbeat faster. She again felt an unnamed numbness in her right half.

(Madiha, you're getting on my nerves, just get lost from here.)

"Aap gussa to na ho, galti ho gyi maaf kar dijiye." She helplessly apologize for an unknown mistake, Danish smirked in his thoughts, he was enjoying this condition of Madiha. Her helplessness was giving him the feeling of greatness, superiority and dominance, which was his favourite feeling.

(Don't be angry, please. It was my bad, forgive me. Please.)

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Next Morning

"Madiha kitni deyr lagaogi? Main late ho rha hu." A loud voice echoed in the home and the very next moment Madiha came running out from the bathroom, her hair drenched, clothes half wet and pale face, together were the testimony of her hurry. Wrapping her hair in the towel she literally ran towards the kitchen. A wave of fear rushed through her nerves when realised that she forgot to soak dry fruits last night.

(Madiha how long will you take? I'm getting late.)

"Ya allah, please save me." She muttered while making tea and very soon she took the cup of tea along with some rusks and biscuits towards Danish who was present in the living room. "Breakfast." She muttered while placing everything in front of him and turned to go but stopped by a voice.

"Tum bhi baith jao, nashta Karo lo."

(You also have breakfast with me.)

"Aapka lunch banana hai, main baa..." as usual he didn't let her complete.

(I've to make lunch for you then I...)

"Rehne do, itne din se bahar khaa raha hu aaj bhi khaa lunga, baith jao idhar." Grabbing her hand he lightly pulled her and she showed a fake smile while sitting beside him. He was in a good mood right now because last night he made, what he called, 'love' however it wasn't less than a punishment for Madiha.

(Leave it, I have been having lunch outside for many days, fine for one more day. Sit here.)

"Locker mein se jewellery nikal kar pehen lo, mujhe tum is tarha achhi nhi lagti." Said the overbearing man in his hard voice and Madiha only nodded. "Wese ek baat to batao, tumhare mamu tumhe lekar to aese gye the jese sar aankho par bitha kar rakhenge, kuch din mein hi tang aa gaye tumse?" Madiha was shocked to see that evil smirk on her husband's face. It was humiliating! She put down the cup of tea present in her hand as she was unable to have breakfast anymore.

(Take the jewellery out from the locker and wear it, I don't like you in this way.)

(Well, your uncle had taken you along as if he'll treat you like a princess but what happened? He is already faded up of you in only a few days.)

"Mamu to rook rahe the lekin main khud hi wapas aa gyi." She muttered without looking at Danish, her hands were fidgeting with the corner of her dupatta, she couldn't tell her husband about her uncle's behaviour but this man wasn't a naive. "Pagal kisi aur ko banana, tum aur tumhare mamu jese hazaar aate hain har rooz mere samne, chehra dekh ke bata sakta hu main ki kon insaan kitne pani mein hai, itne rafeeq nhi hain tumhare mamu, agar hote to tumhari shadi ankhe band kar ke nhi kar dete, apne kandho se bojh utaar diya hai unhone ab dobara is bojh ko nhi uthayenge."

(Mamu was telling me to stay but I came back myself.)

(Try to fool someone else. I deal with thousands like you and your mamu daily, I can tell you the depth of a person just by the face. Your mamu is not compassionate for you, in the name of marriage he actually get rid of a burden, so keep in your mind that he won't take the burden on his shoulders again.)

Madiha felt embarrassed in front of her husband but she showed no response however her heart was clenching. Yes, she was a burden on mamu, and it was already an embarrassment for her. A few months ago she decided to get married to Danish just to get rid of this guilt but here this man was not leaving a single chance to go away from his hand to remember her this reality.

"Kya hua ab chup kyu ho?" Danish asked and Madiha shook her head without making eye contact with him.

(Why are you Silent now?)

"Kuchh nhi, aap chai pijiye, thandi ho rhi hai."

(Nothing. Have tea, it's turning cold.)

"Kya sooch rhi ho?" Asked Danish because for the first time he was unable to read her face. She was silent with an expressionless face but there was a flood of emotions in her for sure.

(What are you thinking?)

Madiha slowly lifted her gaze towards this man and smiled like a sarcasm, but said nothing. He listens what he wanted to listen to, Madiha's feelings and emotions doesn't matter to him so she decided to preserve her precious words instead of wasting in front of him. Danish silently lifted the cup of tea, his face still holding an evil smirk because he won in front of Madiha, as if she wasn't his life partner but rival. As soon as the golden brown, hot beverage hit the taste buds his expressions shifted towards anger, Madiha was unaware of what blunder she had created.

"Ye chai banai hai ya sharbat?" Madiha suddenly looked up, Danish's eyes were red with anger. She shivered from inside. In these days she almost forgot to avoid sugar in tea.

(Is this tea or sugar syrup?)

"Ma... main dusri bana deti hu. Pta nhi Maine chini kese zyada daal di..." She stood up in a hurry but Danish just threw the cup on the floor and glared at her.

(I... I'm making another one. I don't know how I put extra sugar...)

"Tere baap ke ghar se aati hai chini jo bina soche samjhe daal di?" Danish shouted and turned to go without bothering to glance at Madiha who was crying by now.

(So your father send sugar that you put without any measurement?)

Closing her eyes she let the tears flow down from her eyes and looked at the figure going downstairs. It's not even 24 hours since she came back and this man had already made her cry many times. How could she dream for a bright future with a man like Danish who insults her just for one teaspoon of sugar.

Wese ye theek hi to kehte hain, main mamu mamu ke kandho ka bojh thi, isi liye unhone mujhe is aadmi ke taane, aur maar khane ke liye chhod diya... lekin main nhi chahti thi ki meri aulad bhi apne mamu ke kandho ka bojh ban jaye isi liye main wapas aa gyi. Kya mene galat kiya? Haan... shayad. Lekin agar yaha wapas na aati to kaha jaati? Log kehte hain ladki ke do hi ghar hote hain, ya to uske shohor ka ghar ya uske baap ka ghar, galat kehte hain. Ladki ka koi ghar nhi hota. Shadi se pehle use dusre Ghar jaana hota hai aur Shadi ke baad wo dusre ghar se aayi hoti hai, wo to musafir hoti hai jo apni manzil dhundhte dhundhte zindagi ka Safar karti rehti hai. Wiping her tears with the back of her palms she brought a mop to clean the floor.

(Well, he says it correct. I was a burden of Mamu's shoulder that's why he left me here to tolerate the violence and taunts of this man. However I didn't want my child to be a burden on her Mamu's shoulder that's why I am back here. Have I did wrong? Perhaps yes! But where else would I go? People say that girls have two home, one is her husband's home and other is her father's home but they are wrong. A girl doesn't have a home. Before marriage she had to go to another home and after marriage she was from the another home. A girl is a traveller who passes the journey of life in search of a destination.)

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Mar jayengi mere sath ye khwahishein bhi ek din

Qabr ke naam par hi sahi ek ghar to naseeb hoga

_Naaz Jamal

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