Danish was sleeping peacefully after making Madiha cry. Not for a moment he thought about her health, not even a single time he felt hesitated to crush her heart when she deserved every possible pampering from him. When his slumber weakened he found the clock reading late evening, without knowing how he slept so long he came out of the bed and walked towards the direction of the jingle of bangles present in the wrists of his wife. He loves to see her wrists full of bangles and she hates this jingling but what could she do? She was already doing everything she disliked, from pretending to be careful for Danish to behaving like she forgets every injury given by Danish.

"Kya kar rhi ho?" He asked when found Madiha chopping tomatoes, tears were rolling down from her eyes but hands were not stopping to do thier work.

(What are you doing?)

"Preparing for dinner." Sauteing the onions she replied without looking at him and he came closer to her. "Itna to kuch kaha bhi nhi tha jitne tum aasu baha rahi ho." Turning her towards himself he furrowed and Madiha sniffled but ignored him while putting the tomatoes in the pot.

(I didn't even say anything for which you are shedding tears.)

"Kaha tha na aaj dinner bahar karenge, to khana kyu bana rahi ho? Tayyar ho jao jaldi se." As usual he forgot everything he said after a few hours but Madiha was unable to forget anything, she wanted to reply but she was afraid of his anger so silently gulped her emotions down.

(I told you that we would have dinner outside today, then why are you cooking? Go, get ready soon.)

"Ab to mene khana bana liya kisi aur din chalenge." Without looking at him she replied and put the vegetables in the pot along with spices but Danish didn't like this reply.

(Now I've cooked, we'll go some other day.)

How could she forget that his orders hold an another level of importance in this home? How dare she to go against his decision? His big eyes were glaring at her and she was unaware of it.

"Madiha." His whispering voice was as cold as ice and the tone was as hard as rock, she couldn't help but turn around, lifting her head she saw the giant man whose eyes were giving her chills. "Get ready in ten minutes, we're going." It was an order. Switching off the flame she left the half cooked food on the stove and walked towards the bedroom leaving Danish in the kitchen only.

Is aadmi ko kyu samajh nhi aata ki main ek jeeti jaagti insaan hu jisme jazbaat hai, koi robot nhi jo delete button dabate hi sab kuch bhul jaye aur command dete hi order follow kre.

(Why can't this man understand that I'm also a human with real feelings, not a robot who forgets everything after pressing the delete key and follows order after getting a command.)

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Walking on the road between different shops and restaurants she was feeling tired, she didn't want to walk a single step because her feet were hurting like anything but what could she do other than following the man who was walking a step ahead. It was his wish to take his wife on shopping but she didn't want things she wanted peace and respect that he was not providing her.

"Bas bohot shopping ho gyi aur kuch nhi lena." Holding his arm she said when he was about to step in another shop and he turned to see her. She was wearing a black coloured burqa, her face was covered in a naqab (veil), only the brown eyes, with a dark line of kohl, were visible which was enough to irk this man because she was not looking happy.

(It's enough, no need to buy anything else.)

She never looks happy with him, no matter whatever he does! What else he could do? He was taking her out for shopping as well as dinner! Can't she be happy?

"Bhuk lag rhi hai, khana khaa lete hain." Seeing his changing expressions she tried to validate her act on which he pulled away his hand from hers and walked ahead with long steps.

(I'm hungry, let's eat something.)

"Allah ye insaan mera shohor hai ya saza?" Taking the veil of commotion Madiha voices her feelings while almost running after the man who was careless about her sour feet.

(Allah, is this man a husband or a punishment?)

"Aur kitni deyr lagaogi?" He turned to saw her who was coming relatively slow and she held his wrist while matching steps with him. Before leaving the home if she knew that he would park his bike far away from the restaurant and drag her all around the market for shopping, she wouldn't wearing heels for sure.

(How long will you take?)

Somehow the distance was covered, Madiha took her seat in that not so luxurious restaurant. But she was not disappointed, luxury wasn't her necessity ever. For a moment she could see a ray of hope, at least this man think about taking her somewhere. She couldn't even remember when she went on an outing last time. Maybe before the separation of her parents! After separation her mother kind of distanced herself from the world and being closest to her mother Madiha had accompanied her in loneliness. This was the first time when Danish was taking her to eat outside, otherwise if he once in a blue moon felt like giving a treat to Madiha he ordered food from outside. Just it.

"Kya khaogi?" Passing the menu card to her Danish asked and she opened it. So confusing. There were many dishes she was unaware about, today she was realising how far away she was living from this world. She needed to hold Danish's hand to walk on a crowded road and now she was feeling hesitation while sitting in between many unknown people. Maybe she was the most under-confident person in this crowd.

Well, she chose a few dishes and Danish went to the counter to place the order in the self service restaurant and while coming back he wasn't empty handed but holding two cups of icecream. Madiha didn't want to have one but she silently grabbed the cup, untying the veil from the back of the head she uncovered her face which was enough to invoke the insecure and distrustful man present in Danish.

"Madiha." His voice was cold and she lifted her eyes as well as the first spoon of icecream. "Ji?"

"Naqab lagao, kitne aadmi hain yaha dikh nhi rha? Tumhe Khushi milti hai gair mardo ke samne khud ko display kar ke?" Madiha was shocked, he knew that this man doesn't like her to do makeup and go in front of any man but today for the first time she got to know that he was the owner of such a cheap mindset.

(Wear the veil, can't you see how many people are here? Do you get pleasure by displaying yourself in front of other men?)

She wanted to ask why he was so cheap and insecure, moreover how will she eat after covering her face but his eyes were already narrating the story of his false man ego so she killed her self-respect one more time and wear the veil.

"Khaa kyu nhi rahi?" Seeing her ice cream melting he asked and she blinked blankly but Danish answered her unasked question. "Ek hath se naqab uthao aur dusre hath se khaa lo,"

(Why aren't you having it?)

(Lift the veil with one hand and eat with the other.)

Ye aadmi zehni mareez hai, ise ilaaj ki zarurat hai. Madiha's eyes were fixed on his face, he was seeing everywhere to check if anyone was seeing his wife or not. She was feeling like an alien in between many humans but gulping down this embarrassing feeling she started having the white ice cream which stained her black veil but she just clean it with a tissue without saying anything.

(This man is psycho, he needs medical help for sure.)

In between the struggle with ice cream as well as veil her eyes fall on a family present on the next table. The couple was feeding their cute little children. Madiha couldn't help but smile at the beautiful cubby girl munched on a sandwich. Allah paak bless me with a beautiful and pious daughter. She prayed in her heart and fell in love with the little life growing in her frame.

In only a few moments she already dreamed about dolling up her daughter, sending her school and helping her with homework, running after her and kissing her uncountable times after catching her, she even decided a name for her without knowing that her husband already brought the food on the table and now he was following her gaze but instead of the little girl he was seeing her father who was also noticing Madiha seeing his daughter.

"Ye adaein kise dikha rahi ho?" She, who was lost in her thoughts smiling like a fool, suddenly looked at the owner of that whispering voice.

(Whom are you showing these acts?)

"Kya?" She was unable to understand if she heard it correct or not but this man wasn't at back seat in registering his thoughts and feelings.

(What?)

"Apni harkato ko sudhar lo Madiha, meri bardasht ki hadd hone lagi hai. Mere alawa har mard ko dekh kar ye jo tumhare chehre par hasi aati hai... aakhri baar bta rha hu, sudhar jao, warna..." His voice was barely audible but enough to trigger her anger, she was tolerating everything but her character assassination was something that she couldn't bear.

(Mend your ways Madiha, enough of my tolerance, you feel happy to see every man other than me. It's my last warning, improve your character, otherwise...)

"Hosh mein to hain aap? Aapko andaza bhi hai aap kya keh rahe hain?" Madiha couldn't believe what she just heard about herself. She never showed any kind of acts to any man to seduce him, she never attracted any man towards herself. Her Allah knows that she had been trying her best to carry a spotless character till the date. She was so shy and modest that she never even tried to seduce this man with whom she was in a halal (lawful) relation. How could he even accuse her for attracting another man that too at a public place.

(What are you saying? Are you even in your senses?)

"Main to hosh mein hu, behtar hoga tum hosh mein aa jao. Abhi tak tumne sirf mera pyaar dekha hai uska galat fayda na uthao."

(I am in my senses, it would be better if you come to your senses too. So far you have only seen my love, don't take advantage of it.)

"Itne shakki kyu hain aap?" She was angry but her eyes dropped two drops of water which did not effect him.

(Why are you so sceptic?)

"Sareaam tamasha karne ki zarurat nhi hai, ise khao aur ghar chalo. Aur agar aaj ke baad ye ishare karte dekh liya to tayyar rehna."

(No need to make public spectacle, eat this and go home. And if I see these gestures after today, then be ready.)

"Main us bachhi ko dekh rhi thi." She grit her teeth while mumbling.

(I was looking at that girl.)

"Achhi tarha se janta hu tumhari nigahe kidhar or nishana kidhar tha." Madiha kept watching the man who was her husband but not her support, her life partner but not her love, in these months of togetherness she never wanted anything from him but respect and trust however he was too poor to afford these luxuries.

(I know very well where your eyes were and where your aim was.)

Madam ji, Tumhe koi aadmi pasand nhi aata kya? A voice from the past echoed in her ear and she soaked her tears in the tissue paper present in her hand.

(Do you like any man, madam?)

Kisi ko pasand karke kya fayda? Jo qismat mein hai usi ko pasand kar lungi jab wo milega.

(What's the benefit of liking any man? After getting the one who is in my fate I'll like him only.)

Khushnaseeb hoga wo shakhs jise tum milogi. Naik, bahaya, aur thodi si pagal. And Athar's reply from the past forced her to lift her eyes to see the man sitting in front of her, maybe he was lucky to have her but she was not lucky for sure.

(Lucky will be the person who gets you . Pious, modest and a little crazy.)

"Tamasha karti rahogi ya khana bhi khaogi?" His whispering voice was full of anger and eyes were displaying a good amount of anger.

(No need to do drama, have it.)

Madiha kept watching him for next few moments then lowered her eyes while cleaning the tears. Placing the tissue paper on the table she serve herself a small amount of her favourite dish but she was unable to enjoy it. Lifting the corner of the veil with the left hand she took the morsel in her mouth but before it could hit her taste buds it hit the veil. Leaving the dinner she stood up and Danish saw her with questioning eyes, she wanted to ignore him but couldn't. "Re... restroom." She muttered then walked towards the end of the lobby and he examined keenly if anyone went after her or not.

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It was the middle of the night, but she was unable to sleep because of three reasons, the first was harsh behaviour of Danish, second was the legal notice which she read secretly just to get to know about Danish's suspension and the third was her stomach which was growling due to hunger but she didn't want to get out of the bed at this time. She only had 2-3 morsels in the restaurant and now she wanted to have something spicy and tangy, it was the symptom of her two months pregnancy, but her midnight cravings were not going to affect her husband's slumber for sure. Turning her side she adjusted her head on the pillow and see the man sleeping only a few inches away from her.

The soft pillow under her head soaked her fresh tears as she shut her eyes. Life couldn't be easy for her. Opening her eyes she again saw the man who was a mismatch for her.

Kuch mahine aur phir to main aapse baat tak nhi karungi. Main aur mera bachha bas! She told him in her heart and closed her eyes, now she was sure that she will not be able to love this man for the rest of her life. Love is nothing but another form of respect and trust unfortunately there was no space between them for respect and trust.

(Only a few months, then I won't even talk to you. Just me and my child.)

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"Suniye, wo store room ki light theek Kara dijiye." She didn't want to talk to him but now this overnight forgetting was becoming her routine, she never brought yesterday's topic to today's breakfast table because yesterday can't be altered but at least today can be a better day, however with each passing day the chances of betterment was decreasing gradually.

(Listen, get the light of the store room fixed.)

"Hmm... tumhe doctor ko bhi to dikhana hoga. Kab chalogi?" He asked while lifting the cup and checking his emails.

(Hmm... you have to see the doctor too. When will you go?)

"Jab bhi aap free ho, aur Humaira ke gha mithayi lejana na bhuliyega." Placing the bowl of dry fruits in front of him she sat down beside him. Without bothering to glance at him she took a slice of bread and he pushed the bowl of dry fruits towards her.

(Whenever you're free, and don't forget to bring sweets to Humaira's home.)

"Apni diet par dhyan do." She ignored his order and started munching on the bread.

(Take care of your diet.)

"Kya Pareshani Hain? Tumhare chehre par kabhi khushi kyu nahi dikhti? Main thak gya hu ye bezaar chehra dekh dekh ke." He was frustrated and Madiha looked up, she was already crossing the limits of her tolerance and now she was becoming a robot who doesn't know how to show emotions to this man, she was working like a commanded robot which was enough for her as a maid, well she was just a maid of Danish, he wasn't giving her a wife's status.

(What's the problem, why doesn't happiness ever appear on your face? I'm tired of seeing this stupid expressionlgface of yours.)

"Aap khush rehne hi kaha dete hain? Itne gande ilzaam laga kar aap ye ummeed bhi kese kar sakte hain ki main khush rahungi?" Maybe it was the first time when she was saying something in her defence but it was enough to enrage Danish.

(Do you let me stay happy? After such a cheap accusation do you really want me to be happy?) 

"Ilzaam lagane ki noobat hi kyu aayi? Tumhari harkate hi aesi hain. Aur wese bhi, tum konsa pehli baar nakhush ho? Tum to pehle din se hi khush nhi ho. Mujhe lagta tha waqt ke sath sath tum mujhe aur is shadi ko dil se qubul kar logi lekin nhi, tumhara dimaag to saatwe aasmaan par hai. Shadi ke naam par kis cheez ki umeed thi tumhe, koi shehzada aata tumhare liye? Auqaat dekhi thi apni? Kis halat mein rehti thi tum... na rehne ko ghar tha na khane ko rotiyan, dusro ke tukdo par pal rahi thi, tum par taras khaa kar tumse shadi kari thi mene aur yaha main sab kuch de raha hu, achhe kapde pehenti ho, achhe se achha khati ho, itne bade ghar mein rehti ho, har cheez ka araam hai kis cheez ki kami hai tumhe? Lekin tumhe meri qadar hi nhi hai, aur kya karu tumhare liye jisse tum khush ho jao? Nashukri Aurat."

(Why did I even come to the point of accusing? Just because of your doings. And by the way, this is not the first time when you are unhappy? You have not been happy since day one. I thought you'll accept me and this marriage with passing time but no, you're so swollen-headed. What did you expect in the name of marriage, a prince charming? Have you remember your condition? A homeless church mouse who was depending on other's mercy for shelter and meals! I felt pity on you that's why I decided to get married to you and here I'm giving you the best food to eat, you wear the best clothes and live in this lavish house, what else do you need to be happy? I've been giving you everything but you do not value me. Ungrateful woman.)

Throwing the half bitten rusk on the table he stood up while glaring at Madiha, "Jab tak subah jane se pehle mera mood kharab na kardo tab tak sukun nhi milta is aurat ko. Auqaat se zyada mil gaya hai ise."  Mumbling loudly he walked towards the stairs and the very next moment he was disappeared from her eyes which were already flowing tears.

(This woman doesn't get peace until spoil my mood before leaving in the morning. She has been getting more than she deserves.)

Danish said everything without knowing how deeply he had hurt a pure soul. Poor Madiha was sitting like a dummy who doesn't know how to move or react. Her brain was working on repeating mode, each and every word of Danish was echoing in her mind questioning her self respect, her self-possession and self-restraint.

She looked at the slice of bread she was holding then towards her clothes she was wearing and then glanced at the home in which she was living, she had prayed uncountable times to get all these things. Yes, she prayed to get all these things but she forgot to ask for love, respect and trust. A loud, harsh, piercing cry came out of her mouth followed by loud sobs.

The bread slipped away from her hand and she cried as loud as possible. Danish, who was standing on the middle of the stairs waiting for Madiha to bring his bike keys, came upstairs after listening to the howlings of his wife. As usual his anger vanished just after a few moments but those moments were enough to crush someone's heart.

"Kitni deyr rooti rahogi?" He asked while sitting beside Madiha and pulled her in his arms, though she wanted to push him but she just cried out in the arms of the man who was the reason behind her pains.

(For how long will you cry?)

"Mujhe gussa dilati hi kyu ho jo main kuch ulta seedha bolu?"

(Why do you enrage me that I say this and that?)

"Leave me." Getting out of his arms she walked towards the bedroom and before she could lock the door from inside a strong hand stopped it, she tried her best to push the door to lock it but Danish was much more stronger than her, he entered in the room and Madiha felt defeated one more time. Glancing at him she sat down on the bed looking away from him. "Ab roona band bhi karogi ya nhi?" He asked sitting beside her and pulled her in a hug again, his back was stuck to his chest but she didn't say anything just kept crying.

(Will you stop crying or not?)

"Madiha, stop it. Pehle khud gussa dilati ho phir main kuch keh deta hu to roone lagti ho." Danish's voice wasn't like an order this time, still he was not guilty because according to him, his words were the reaction of Madiha's action so she was equally responsible. No, she was more responsible than him. Forcefully removing his arms from herself Madiha turned towards him, her bloodshot tearfilled eyes met with the pair of dark orbs and he saw the pain in her expressions.

(Only you make me angry and when I say something you start crying.)

"Maine aur Mohsin ne bohot chhoti umar se apna kharcha khud uthana shuru kar diya tha. Hum kisi ke tukdo par nahi pale." Controlling herself to cry more she said in a hushed tone, though Danish could say that it's not only about earning your bread and butter but other expenses too but he stays silent for the sake of his baby which was growing in Madiha's womb, however he was too late to think about this, he had already damaged her self respect.

(Me and Mohsin started taking care of our own expenses from a very young age. We were earning our own bread and butter.)

"Achha theek hai chup ho jao, utho nashta karo." Madiha was hungry but she did not want to have anything now. This man could disrespect her for the bread he put in her plate.

(Okay, just stop crying and have breakfast.)

"Madiha sun rhi ho? Utho nashta Karo." He pushed her hair away from her forehead but she didn't move, her silence was enough to make him realise that this time she needed some time to forget this matter. "Sab kuch to deta hu main tumhe, aakhir kis cheez ki kami hai jo tum mujhse khush nhi ho?"

(Madiha are you listening? Get up, have breakfast.)

(Why aren't you happy with me? I'm giving you everything, what else you need?)

"Aap mujhe sab kuch dete hain, izzat aur mohabbat ke alawa." 

(You give me everything other than respect and love.)

"Aur kitni mohabbat karu main tumse? Tumhari har zarurat ka dhyan rakhta hu, tumhe kisi cheez ki Kami nhi hone deta, tumhare liye itne achhe achhe kapde le kar aata hu. Mera bhi dil chahta hai main jab Ghar wapas aau to meri biwi mujhse khush ho ke baat kare, tayyar ho ke mere samne aaye, kuch deyr mere sath bethe lekin tum kya karti ho Madiha? Tum to mujhe dekh ke muskurati tak nhi ho, mujhe dekh ke tumhare chehre par bezariyat aa jati hai. Thak gya hu main tumhe khush karne ki koshish karte karte lekin tum kabhi khush nhi reh sakti." And he left after picking up the keys without bothering to get a reply.

(How much more should I love you? I take care of your every need, I don't let you lack anything, I bring such nice clothes for you. I also want my wife to welcome me home with a smile, to talk to me happily, to groom herself for me, but what are you doing Madiha? You don't even smile to see me. I can feel another level of irritation on your face when I'm around. I'm tired of making you happy but you are never happy.)

Madiha was only watching the door from where he left after declaring that only she was responsible for his rude behaviour. How easily he proved himself innocent and declared her responsible for everything.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong due to which he's unhappy. Maybe I don't know how to make my husband happy. Maybe it's all my fault only.

She also blamed herself, she was trying to find out her flaws and vanish them but in this process her almost nil confidence level was declining with every passing day.

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