After 3 years...

Glancing at the photo frame hanging on the bedroom wall she felt a pang in heart. This photo reminds her of her wedding day. The day when she accepted him as her husband. The day she put her trust in an unknown man. The day she made the biggest mistake of her life.

She tried to remember something which could give her some reason to love the man who doesn't respect her at all but a gush of memories took her away on a tour of painful past as well as hurtful present which she couldn't forget even after trying her best....

"Mere saamne apni zuban na chalaya kar, apni auqaat mein raha kar." A sharp slap followed by the bitter order and the very next moment she found herself falling on the floor.

(Don't you dare to open your tongue in front of me. Be in your limits.)

<><><><>

"Auqaat kya hai teri? Do koodi ki aurat!" His loud voice and harsh tone didn't enrage her but crushed her self-respect one more time. Her brown eyes turned wet, lips trembled but didn't gather words to deliver a reply. She had listened to this sentence so many times that now she unwillingly started believing in it.

(What's your status? You're a worthless woman.)

<><><><>

"Tum kahi nhi jaa rahi, yahi raho ghar mein."

(You're not going anywhere, stay at home.)

"Please na, bohot dil chah rha hai kahi jaane ka. Wese bhi kitna time ho gya hai mujhe aapke sath kahi gaye huye... Le chaliye na mujhe bhi aapne sath." Placing her hand on his arm she made a demand in a soft tone.

(Please, I really want to go somewhere. And it's also too long when I go out with you. Please, take me along, I want to go. Please.)

"Kyu? Kise apne husn ke jalwe dikhane hain waha?"

(Why? Whom do you want to show the glimpses of your beauty?)

"Aap kyu ye baat karte hain? Main aapke sath hi to jane ke liye keh rhi hu... akele to kahi nhi jaa rhi." Said Madiha with frustration and anger, she understood that this man won't change ever but she couldn't ignore these allegations at any cost.

(Why do you say this? I'm not going alone anywhere, I'm just asking you to take me along.)

"Zyada bakwas mat kar, achhi tarha se jaanta hu main teri harkatein. Jaa yaha se aur jo kaam kaha gya hai wo kar." He jerked off her away as if she wasn't his wife but a dirty street dog who could infect him by coming closer.

(Cut the crap, I know very well about your deeds. Get lost from here and do the said work.)

One more time Madiha gulp down her tears as well as insult while shoving the beautiful dress back into the cupboard and looked at the tall figure who was now wearing a brown blazer and setting his hair. Before he could get angry she rushed to polish his shoes and later on silently helped him in getting ready to go to his first cousin's wedding but he didn't bother to take him along, however he ordered some delicious food from a nearby restaurant to compensate for not taking her to the wedding.

That's how he was not guilty in any way!

<><><><>

"Main soch rahi thi ghar ka interior thoda change kar lete hain, shadi se ab tak same dekhte dekhte bore ho gyi hu main." She muttered whilst shifting closer to Danish but he jerked his head and folded the newspaper.

(I'm thinking about changing the interior of the home, I'm kind of bored of seeing the same things from the time of our wedding to now.)

"Teri ye same shakal dekhte dekhte main bhi boor ho gya hu, kyu na main tujhe hi badal du?" Gritting his teeth he folded the newspaper and Madiha felt defeated.

(I'm also bored of of seeing the same face of yours, why shouldn't I change you though?)

"Aesi baatein kyu karte hain aap? Main aapko koi shikayat ka mooqa nhi deti, jo kehte hain sab karti hu, kabhi aapki marzi ke khilaf nhi jaati lekin aapke shikve hi khatam nhi hote. Main khud ko kese badlu ke aapko achhi lagne lagu? Aap jo kahenge main wo hi karungi bas mujhse naraz nhi raha kariye... Mera koi nhi hai aapke alawa." Placing her hand on his wrist she asked in a hushed tone.Anyone could listen to her pain and broken state but not the one who was the reason behind it.

(Why do you behave like this? I don't give you a single chance of complaining, I do everything as you want, I never go against your will still you are not happy with me. How may I change myself to please you? I'll do everything you wish, just don't be angry with me... I don't have anyone other than you.)

"Kuch bhi kar le, kesi bhi ban jaa, Mujhe tu achhi lagne se to rahi... Aur rahi baat meri khushi ki to sun... tu meri ek khwahish puri nhi kar saki. Tu kisi kaam ki nhi hai, us budhe ne apne ghar ki musibat mere sar bandh di." Her vision turned blur due to tears gathered in her eyes and after only two seconds she felt a hand grabbing her wrist then throw it away to free his wrist.

(Do anything, become like anyone but you can't be liked by me. And if it comes to my wish, then listen, you're unable to fulfil a single wish of mine. You're good for nothing. That old man put his burden on my shoulders.)

<><><><>

"Ya Allah mujhe sabr de." sighing loudly Madiha closed her eyes and the small glimpse of memories ended with a tiny tear which was enough to put off the fire of her wishes she had holding in her heart, however... now there was no wish left, she only need some peace either with Danish or without Danish, either in this home or even in grave.

Nevertheless, right now Madiha was feeling a bit relaxed because Danish was not present at home, for the last few months he was frequently going out of station for official training and some other workshops. He was promoted from Inspector to Deputy Superintendent of police (DSP) because of his punctuality, outstanding performance as well as a little, not really little, amount of bribe. Madiha had nothing to do with his promotion or demotion, what matters to her was his absence. Sometimes she felt happy in his absence sometimes suffocated in between the four walls of the home and she always wanted to go somewhere but never dared to step out of the home in Danish's absence and he never bothered to take her out even for groceries, taking to an outing was an our of the box task for him.

Today, after doing all the household chores Madiha set a plate for herself which was showing a small amount of her comfort food, daal chawal with salad and pickle, which was leftover of last night

Picking up the first spoonful of the meal which was neither breakfast nor lunch she turned on the TV, soon the big screen was flashing some faces which made her smile. It was her favourite movie. Leaving all the manners she sat down on the sofa with folded legs, picked up the plate in her hand and started having such tiny bites as if she was a toddler.

Taking a deep breath she looked here and there, a peaceful home, unfortunately, not a peaceful life. Before her heart could relish this comfort her eyes fell on the wall clock, it was reading 11 of the morning and she sighed. Only a few hours and Danish will come back home. He was out of the station for the last two days, and these two days were so peaceful for her. Life could be beautiful for her if this man was absent from it.

"Bhabi bhabi..." Saad came running upstairs and Madiha looked towards him after putting the plate down. "Bhai..." passing his mobile towards Madiha he muttered.

"Ji?" Taking the mobile she muttered. It had been three years since Madiha had no mobile. Once she was talking to her friend, Zeba, when suddenly Danish came back home. When Madiha disconnected the call after seeing him he beat her like an animal to ask with whom she was talking but after not getting a satisfactory reply he broke her mobile so that she couldn't talk to anyone else in the future. From that time to now Madiha was dependent on Saad's mobile phone. She took Saad's mobile to talk to only one person, who was no one else but Mohsin, and if by any chance Danish needed to talk to her he also calls on Saad's mobile phone.

"Kya kar rhi ho?" It was an unexpected question from Danish. He wasn't one who could miss his wife or ask her about how she had spent her day, he just orders her.

(What are you doing?)

"Kuch nhi bas saaf safai ka..." she lied because Danish could react unexpectedly if get to know that she was relaxing and doing nothing but this man didn't even let her complete. "Saad ke sath apne mamu ke ghar chali jao." Madiha furrowed on this order. From the time she came back to this home, neither she demanded to go to her Mamu's home nor Danish wanted to let her go anywhere, it was unusual for him to send Madiha anywhere, especially when he wasn't with her. He didn't even want to send Madiha to attend Namra's wedding but after Mamu's more than enough demand he allowed her to attend only the main wedding ceremony of Namra. However, Madiha also didn't want to have any kind of relationship with her Mamu or his family. She was like this only... she knew how to love someone from the deepest core of the heart but if that person gives her a reason to dislike him/her she doesn't forget anything easily. Unfortunately, her mamu gave her a strong reason which she was unable to forget.

(Nothing much, just cleaning the hom...)

(Go to your Mamu's home with Saad.)

"Mamu ke ghar... magar kyu?"

(Mamu's home... but why?)

"Tumhare mamu ka inteqal ho gya hai," Madiha stay silent for a few moments then felt her eyes turning wet. "Waha jaa to rhi ho lekin bhul na jana ki wapas bhi aana hai, raat ko aa rha hu main."

(Your mamu passed away.)

(Don't forget after going there that you have to come back too, I'm coming tonight only.)

"Aap aay..." And before Madiha could complete her sentence the call was disconnected from the other side. She looked at the mobile screen which was showing the call ended, this man ignores her like one ignores the barking dog on the middle of the street. Passing the mobile to Saad Madiha wiped her tears and questioned herself. For whom I am crying?

The man I loved like a father but he pushed me in this hell?

The man who never even asked me once if I am alive or my so-called husband has already killed me silently.

The man who never even once invited me to his home after marriage just on an evening tea.

In these years she wished countless times that someone would also invite her for a feast on eid, or for iftaar (breaking a fast) in Ramazan but every time she just washed away these wishes with her tears.

<><><><>

A big heap of date seeds was present on the centre of the white coloured sheet, many ladies were sitting around it reciting Kalma once and throwing two-three seeds from their fists as if they were racing from each other who has a bigger heap in front of her.

Madiha stepped in the big room and silently took her seat beside a lady who was her second aunt. Uncovering her face she wiped the sweat drops from her forehead and picked a handful of date seeds from the big heap.

"Tum to Madiha ho na? Shadi ke baad pehli baar dekh rhi hu tumhe. Bahot badal gyi ho," Madiha looked at the lady beside herself, passed a small yet fake smile and started reciting the Kalma without bothering to discuss anything else but her attention was grabbed by her cousin sister and her aunt, they both were crying endlessly. Madiha couldn't help but cried out silently. She was also crying like this at the time of her parents' demise and that time her mamu was the only person to give her support. This was something she couldn't neglect. For a moment she forgot everything and looked at the dead body of her uncle whom she had loved just like a father.

(You're Madiha, right? I'm seeing you for the first time after your marriage, you're changed.)

"Kya hua tha Mamu ko?" She asked to the lady sitting beside her.

(How did it happen?)

"Bas kya batayein beta, gum khaa gya bechare ko. Namra ki wajah se pareshan the. Bohot dukh me thi wo shadi ke baad." The lady let the cold sigh out and looked at Namra who was rocking a baby in her arms while crying unstoppable.

(Don't even ask... it was stress which killed this poor man. He was worried about Namra, she was unhappy after marriage.)

"Kyu? Aesa bhi kya ho gya? Namra ki to love marriage thi na!"

(What? What exactly happened? Namra had a love marriage, right?)

"Tumhe nhi pta kya hua?" The lady asked and Madiha shook her head while wiping her tears.

(Don't you know what happened?)

"Namra ki shadi ko 6 mahine hi huye the tab se yahi maa baap ke sath reh rhi thi, suna hai uska apne shohor koi jhagda hua tha, usne Namra ko thapad tak maar diya tha... bas, bhai sahab ne keh diya ki unki beti us ghar mein wapas nhi jayegi... baat itni badi ki nobat talaq tak pohoch gyi. Namra ka shohor to bachhe ko dekhne bhi nhi aaya, only bhai sahab has been looking after his grandson." The lady complete the narration of the story and throw the handful of date seeds in the heap present in front of her as if she wasn't reciting Kalma but gossips. Madiha felt as if the scene from three years back flashes in front of her eyes.

(Namra has been living with her parents from the sixth month of her marriage. She had an argument with her husband and he slapped her... how could her father tolerate this? But the matter became so big that it ended with divorce. Her husband did not even come to see the child, only bhai sahab was looking after his grandson.)

She was the one to beg for not going back to Danish because he was so cruel but her Mamu ignored and told her to accept her destiny but when the same thing came to his daughter he didn't let everything in the hands of destiny but took a step. Her aunty was the one who was advising her to tolerate and go back, also, according to that old lady anger is the might of man but when it came to her own daughter anger became the reason of divorce? Moreover, now they are ready to take responsibility for someone's child!

That's the difference between daughter and daughter-like figure...

"Tum to khush ho na apne shohor ke sath?" The lady asked and Madiha just nodded because she didn't want to show her suffering for public entertainment. "Haan, bhabi bata rhi thi, kitne achhe ghar me shadi kari un logo ne tumhari, sasural mein koi bhi nhi hai aur shohor bhi achha hai, har aesh o araam hai. Lekin qismat ke kheyl dekho, tumhe kitna pyaar se rakha, kitna achha rishta dhundh ke tumhari shadi kari lekin apni beti ki qismat kharab nikli. Namra ke liye dukh hota hai mujhe." The old lady again sighed and threw a few date seeds in the heap present front of her.

(After you happy with your husband?)

(Yeah, bhabi was telling that they've married you off in a very nice family. You've got such a nice husband and in-laws but see the games of destiny. Here you're enjoying your life but the dear daughter of one who looked after you is facing these problems. How sad. I feel bad for Namra.)

Madiha looked at the newly widowed woman and freshly orphaned young lady... they were crying endlessly and she was feeling suffocation in this hypocrite environment where everyone has a different face. Maybe for the first time she felt that Danish was better than these people, at least he was not showing double standards like these. Once Humaira came home after an argument with her husband and Danish didn't give her a chance to say anything, he just sent her back and told her to focus on the good things about her husband instead of making issues because of small things. But if she sees it closely Danish wasn't better than anyone.

"Ye kya hua beta?" The lady asked about the bruise present on the forehead and Madiha pulled her dupatta to cover her head in such a way that her half forehead was also covered.

(What's this beta?)

"Bathroom mein phisal gyi thi, choot lag gyi." Madiha lied and started reciting Kalma without paying much attention to the old lady.

(I slipped in the bathroom and got this injury.)

"Aapi aap yaha hain, main waha dusre room bethi sooch rhi thi ki aap aayi nhi." A young lady came and sat beside Madiha while holding the dupatta on her head which was about to slip and Madiha slowly pulled her in a side hug.

(Aapi you're here! I was sitting in the other room thinking that you haven't come.)

"Kesi ho Aamna? Mohsin kesa hai? Kaha hai wo?" Madiha asked in reply while trying to search her brother whom she had met almost four months ago, her eyes were craving to see him. "Mohsin office mein hai aapi, aane wala hoga, aaj main Ghar me hi thi to jaldi aa gyi." Aamna replied in a hushed tone and Madiha nodded.

(How are you Aamna? How is Mohsin? And where is he?)

(Mohsin is in office, he must be coming. Today, I was at home only, so I came soon.)

Aamna was Mohsin's wife. Two years ago Mohsin got married to his colleague who was his close friend since college time. They both were working in the same firm and living in a small 2 BHK apartment, which they both had bought on EMIs. Their life was going smooth and Madiha was happy for them.

<><><><>

After spending a few hours there Madiha gave a quick hug to Mami and her cousins while taking her formal leave. Mohsin and Aamna also took their leave and walked out of the home along with Madiha.

"Ghar chaliye aapi, bohot din ho gye hain aapko aaye huye." Said Aamna with a warm smile and Mohsin nodded but Madiha shook her head.

(Let's go home aapi, it's so long when you come last time.)

"Wo wapas aa rhe hain aaj raat, mujhe ghar jaa ke khana banana hai."

(He's coming back tonight, I've to prepare dinner after going home.)

"Kuch behtar huye ya..." Mohsin left the sentence when three of them crossing the street and Madiha sighed.

(Any betterment in him or...?)

"Tumhe lagta hai wo aadmi behtar ho jayega?"

(Do you think that man can be better ever?)

"Ab bhi maarte hain?" Mohsin asked in a hushed as well as sad voice and Madiha smiled like a sarcasm but her face was covered so no one could see it.

(He still beats you?)

"Ek mahine pehle mara tha, uske baad se to silent treatment de rahe hain. Ab wapas ayenge to main hath jood kar maafi maang lungi, pta nhi kya baat buri lag gyi hogi?" Madiha said in a hushed tone and Mohsin placed his hand on her shoulder.

(He beated me a month ago, and after that he has been giving me silently treatment. Now he's coming back then I'll beg in front of him for forgiveness but I really even know my fault.)

"Kab tak aesi zindagi guzarengi Aapi?" Mohsin asked in a sad voice, by now they three have passed the street and arrived at the roadside. "Jab tak ya to wo zinda hain ya main, dono me se koi ek mar jayega to zindagi bhi badal jayegi." She said everything without any expressions of emotions as if it was a rigid rule of science, Mohsin walked towards an old modelled black car and opened the door. Madiha looked at him with confusion but he gestured to take the front passenger seat.

(For how long will you live like this?)

(Till either he's alive or I! After the death of one of us this life will not be the same.)

"Aaj hi li hai aapi, main chahta tha sabse pehle aap baithe isme." He gestured for Madiha to hop in the car but she shook her head and asked Aamna to have the front seat but Mohsin forcefully took his sister in the car. "Theek lag rhi hai aapi?" Mohsin asked about the car and Madiha looked at the back passenger seat on which Aamna was sitting.

(I bought it today only, and I wanted you to be the first to ride in it.)

"Mujhe na dikhaya kro, meri Nazar na lag jaye." Replied Madiha in a hushed tone and other two suddenly looked at her. Both of them were shocked to listen to this statement but their expressions were different. Mohsin was in disbelief but Aamna was nervous.

(Don't show me anything of yours, my evil eye shouldn't effect you.)

"Ye kesi baatein kar rhi hain aapi? Aapki Nazar lagegi mujhe? Aapke alawa aur hai hi kon mera? Nazar to unki lagti hai jo jalte hain aap to meri Khushi ki dua mangti hain." Putting the key in ignition Mohsin told his real feelings and Madiha felt her eyes filling with tears.

(What the rubbish? You can not put an evil eye on me. You're not jealous of me but you're my well wisher. Who I have other than you in the name of family?)

"Meri koi bhi dua tab tak khatam nhi hoti jab tak main tumhari Khushi, izzat, kamyabi aur sukun na maang lu."

(I always pray for your happiness, prosperity, success, and peace.)

"Aap Mere sath chaliye, ab le lijiye divorce aur araam se hamare sath rahiye..." Madiha looked at her brother then towards her sister-in-law who was looking pale.

(Now take divorce and come with me, you can live with us without having any problem)

"Meri qismat mein yahi sab likha hai to yahi sahi. Tum dono apne ghar mein khush raho, bas mere liye kaafi hai," Madiha took a pause while seeing Aamna through the mirror. She was looking fearful, "mujhe ghar chhod do, wo aane wale honge." Madiha didn't say anything else after that, she just closed her eyes while resting her head backward and a flashback came in her vision.

(If only this is written in my destiny then fine. I hope you both stay happy in your home.)

(Drop me home, he must be coming soon.)

Four months ago as usual Danish was insulting Madiha regarding her miserable condition before marriage and showing whatever he had been providing her, the luxuries of life which she might never get if it wasn't him. Madiha was unable to tolerate anymore and replied with rage that marrying a beggar would be better than marrying him. Danish beated Madiha like a freak, his hands didn't stop slapping her face until she bleeded from nose and mouth, and her fault was just an answer which she gave in the reply of his taunt.

That day she decided to walk out of this relationship. Next morning as soon as Danish went to his duty she went to Mohsin's home. She was happy that now she had a shelter where she could live without any insult but she was wrong. She was cleaning the kitchen to help Aamna when she heard a voice from her bedroom, maybe Aamna forgot to shut the door while talking to her sister on the phone call... "Aiman, mujhe unke yaha rehne se koi problem nahi hai, even I have a soft corner for her, yaar unka husband bohot bura hai, wo aadmi janwar hai janwar, pta nhi wo bechari kese rehti hain us aadmi ke sath... lekin mujhe dar lagta hai... Mohsin bohot mohabbat karta hai mujhe... mene suna hai mehroom logo ki nazar bohot jaldi lagti hai... kahi aesa na ho ki unki Nazar hamare rishte ko lag jaye..." Aamna's words worked like a hammer on Madiha's heart, she didn't show any reaction but took her leave in the afternoon only.

(Aiman, I don't have any issue if she's living here. Even, I have a soft corner for her. Dude her husband is so evil, he's as cruel as death, I wonder how can she survive with a man like him. But the thing is that Mohsin loves me crazily, now I am afraid of her evil eye. I've listened somewhere that forlorns cast an evil eye more than anyone else. I'm concerned about our marriage.)

"Aapi... your home." Mohsin slowly shook her shoulder and Madiha opened her eyes to see the alley which led to her home then invited both of them for tea but Mohsin shook his head. He hated Danish from the deepest core of his heart so he didn't want to step in his home, having tea and snacks was the far away thing.

"Take care of yourself as well as Aamna, she needs special attention in this situation." Passing a smile to her brother she put on the niqab (veil) before hopping out from the car, Aamna also took a step towards Madiha and held her hands firmly. Mohsin saw the scene and thought that it was a formal goodbye but he didn't know what the both ladies were talking in whisper.

"Aapi aap mujhse naraz hain?" Madiha felt Aamna's grip on her hands tightened a bit, her tone was addressing that she understood the reason behind decreasing interaction between her and Madiha. Otherwise from the day Mohsin got married, Madiha frequently used to call both of them to ask how they both are doing but for last four months Madiha didn't call Aamna, she was only calling Mohsin that too not frequently.

(Aapi are you offended with me?)

Madiha, who was practically offended with Aamna till a few moments ago, suddenly forgot everything because of generosity moreover her love towards Mohsin. Maybe this was the quickest forgiveness in her life otherwise she didn't know the meaning of forgiveness. "Tum mere bhai ki Khushi ho, tumse kese naraz reh sakti hu main?" Madiha slowly cupped Aamna's face in between her palms and kissed her forehead.

(You're the happiness of my brother, how can I be offended with you?)

"Aapi aap bohot achhi hain, agar aapko kuch bura laga ho to I'm sorry." Aamna whispered and Madiha shook her head. "Kuchh bura nhi laga, ghar jaao aur araam kro, zyada na soocho, zyada kaam na kro bas khush rho. Aur Mohsin kabhi sataye to mujhe batana." Aamna smiled on the last statement but nodded, she was still holding Madiha's hand and when she loosened her grip her eyes fell on Madiha's wrist, it had a big bruise which was enough to shock Aamna.

(Aapi you're so kind, forgive me if you feel bad for something.)

(I didn't mind anything don't take stress. Go home and take rest, don't do any heavy work, just stay happy. And tell me if Mohsin trouble you ever.)

"Aapi, ye kya hua?" She asked with wide eyes and Madiha just pulled her hand away while shaking her head. "Bathroom mein phisal gyi thi." And she already walked ahead. Aamna took the front seat in the car then looked at her husband with questioning eyes.

(Aapi, how does it hurt?)

(I slipped in the bathroom.)

"Tum kuchh karte kyu nhi ho Mohsin? Halat dekhi hai tumne aapi ki? Domestic violence ka case kyu nhi karte tum us shaitan par?" Aamna almost shouted and Mohsin gave a sad look to her.

(Why don't you take an action Mohsin? Haven't you see the condition of Aapi? Why don't you file a case of domestic violence against that devil?)

"Qanoon ko jeyb mein daal ke ghumta hai wo aadmi, bohot se case pending hain uske upar lekin use har cheez se nikalna aata hai, bohot contacts hain uske."

(He plays with laws like a toy. There are many cases pending on him but he manages to save himself every time because of his contacts.)

"Tumne to jung se pehle hi hathiyar daal diye." Aamna, being a feminist, couldn't see a case of domestic violence as well as exploitation of women in front of her but Mohsin sighed.

(You have given up even before initiating the war.)

"Aapi mein himmat nhi hai ki wo is aadmi ke against jaye. Pehle to main sochta tha ki ye insaan sudhar jayega lekin nhi, ye kabhi nhi sudhar sakta."

(Aapi doesn't have courage to stand against him. At some point I had been thinking that this man would become better but now I'm sure he won't.)

"Yaar Mohsin tum mujhse to ye bakwas mat kara karo, it sounds like tum bohot majboor ho. Tumne kabhi aapi ke liye awaaz uthayi? Kabhi nhi! At least tum us insaan... nhi, insaan ke naam par kalank, janwar se baat to Karo ki wo itna kyu maarta hai apni biwi ko?" Aamna shouted and Mohsin palmed his face in thoughts.

(Mohsin, stop your rubbish, it sounds like you're a damn helpless man. Have you ever raise your voice for aapi? No. Never. At least ask that man wait... he's not a man but a devil, a curse on humanity, at least ask him why he beats his wife like this?)

"Oo jhasi ki rani, tu itna hyper na ho phir blood pressure high kar ke baith jayegi. Main karunga baat." He knew very well that if she comes to her feminist form she could go to Madiha's home and burst Danish's head without any delay but at this moment her health was Mohsin's first priority.

(My brave lady, don't be so hyper you'll again increase your blood pressure. I'll talk to him.)

<><><><>

"Assalamualaikum, aa gye aap! Kesi rahi conference aur training sessions?" Madiha welcomed her husband with a forced smile which was well pretended and took the handbag from the hand of the tall man.

(You're home. How was the conference and training session?)

"Chai bana do mere liye." Madiha saw him for a long moment then walked towards the kitchen.

(Make me tea.)

Making a cup of tea she transferred it into a cup and thought for a moment. Should she serve biscuits and rusk along? She didn't know what to do? This man was unpredictable. He could shout at her if she didn't bring what he wanted and he could also shout at her if she present something he did not want. However, without any delay she walked towards the bedroom with a cup of tea and a packet of rusks.

"Rusk lenge?" She asked in a hushed tone and Danish grabbed the cup only as if he didn't listen to her. "Saad ke sath wapas aayi ho?"

(Have you come back with Saad?)

"Nhi Mohsin ke sath." Madiha turned back to go to the kitchen but stopped for a moment when she noticed something. "Ye shirt... ye aapki shirt hai?" Focusing on the yellow coloured shirt Madiha asked while trying to remember if she had ever seen this shirt but she was sure, Danish didn't have any shirt like this.

(No, with Mohsin.)

(This shirt... is this yours?)

"Mene pehen rakhi hai to meri hi hogi na!" Danish said in a duh tone and Madiha just struggled while selecting correct words to reply. "Main to isliye puchh rhi thi kyuki mene to kabhi nhi dekhi ye shirt."

(If I'm wearing this it means it's mine only.)

(I was asking because I haven't seen this shirt ever.)

"Ab naye kapde khareedne aur pehenne se pehle tumhari ijazat leni padegi mujhe?"

(Do I need your permission to buy and wear new clothes?)

"Aa..." Madiha opened her mouth to ask 'aap har baat ka ulta jawab kyu dete hain?' But she knew there will not be any benefit other than new argument so she ignore. "Khana laga rhi hu aa jaiyega jaldi."

(Why do you give these twisted replies?)

(I'm setting the dinner, come soon.)

"Aapke liye pulao banaya hai, aapko pasand hai na..." she again tried to please him when he came to the dinner table but he ignored as if she said nothing and he heard nothing.

(I've cooked pulao for you. You like it na.)

Madiha looked at the man from whom she didn't expect anything but at the same time she wanted nice treatment from him. For the last four months she was facing this cold behaviour of this man. He was treating her indifferently, and she knew the reason behind it, but what could she do? She was helpless.

After dinner Danish walked to the bedroom and Madiha walked to her only destination kitchen. She clean the kitchen and was about to do the dishes when a loud call made her jump on her place.

"Madihaaaa..."

"Ji?" She asked while going inside the bedroom with long steps and Danish didn't bother to speak a single word, he just gestured towards his legs with the help of his eyes and Madiha sighed in a defeated manner. She wanted to sleep after this tiring day but leaving with no other option she sat down on the bed and started pressing his legs.

For the next half an hour there was not a single sound in this room other than the clock tickling but maybe Madiha was not liking this silence. "Suniye," leaving his foot she shifted towards the headboard and placed her hand on his arm, though he was awake but didn't bother to open his eyes, Madiha knew the reality that he was only acting asleep, that's why she didn't stop and decided to say what she was about to say.

"I'm pregnant." She told him and waited for a response but he didn't showed any response. For a moment she thought he was really sleeping but since he was not snoring like a dog's howling it was clear that he was awake. "Suniye, I'm saying something, I'm pregnant." This time she said a little louder and Danish jerked her hand from his arm before throwing daggers at her.

"To main kya karu? Isme konsi nayi baat hai?"

(So what should I do? What's new in this?)

"Bajaye khush hone ke aap aese kyu keh rahe hain?" Madiha asked with disappointment and Danish glared at her.

(Why are you saying this instead of being happy?)

"Tu mere liye us peyd ki tarha hai jise saari umar bhi seencho to bhi wo phal nhi dega, banjar zameen bhi ek darakht uga hi deti hai, kaato wala hi sahi, tu to kisi kaam ki hi nhi hai." Madiha kept watching him for a long time without blinking, his figure turned blur and she walked out from the room with long steps while wiping her tears with the back of her palms.

(You're like a fruitless tree for me, no matter how much I spend on you, you'll be fruitless as always. You're as infertile as deserted land, no... at least it grows some plants either spiky ones but your worse than that.)

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Hands were cupped and tears were rolling from her eyes, heart and mind repeating the same prayer for the last one hour... "Ya Allah please please mujhe bhi aulad ki naymat se nawaz de na." And soon her silent tears were converted into loud hiccups. "Allah paak please na... Please ek beta dede aur Woh mujhse mohabbat karne lagein aur hum dono sath khush rahein. Please." She cried out silently while hiding her face in her palms.

(Ya Allah please please bless me with children)

(Allah please please please bless me with a son and he started loving me and we live a happy life.)

In the last three years Madiha got pregnant many times but none of her pregnancy lasted for more than five months. Danish took her to many doctors, even the best ones but doctors can't give life they only can try their best. After uncountable miscarriages Danish lose hope that Madiha will ever give him the happiness of a being a father and Madiha was again blaming herself for his rude behaviour, according to her Danish might become better after becoming a father but unfortunately she was unable to give birth to a baby.

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