Silence embraces the room when she was sitting in front of her maternal uncle. For the last five minutes he was silent and she was scared as well as nervous about the reason why did her uncle called her like this. 

"Madiha,"

"Ji mamu?" 

"Tumhare liye ek rishta dekha hai." and he took a small pause meanwhile her head and eyes cast down without changing any facial expressions.

(There is a marriage proposal for you.)

"The guy is a police inspector earning a handsome amount. His family is small, his parents died years ago, there are only two sisters, one is already married and the other one is getting married next month only. Family background and the residency both are fine but..." She, who was listening to everything silently till now, slowly lifted her eyelids to glanced at her uncle's face and very next moment reshifted her gaze back to the floor, but she was waiting to know the flaw or flaws of this perfect looking proposal. 

"Ladke ki umar tumse thodi zyada hai." She didn't make eye contact with her uncle and think about the maximum diffence possible. Maybe 7-8 years older than her. 

(The guy is a bit older than you.)

"Take your time, think about it, then tell me your decision. I have sent his photo on your mobile." While sending photos on her mobile he said and she stood up without looking at anyone present in the room. Holding millions of questions in her heart she walked down stairs and open the door of her room. It was a small room with a floor bed and an old study table on the name of furniture. Picking up the mobile phone from the pillow she opened the latest WhatsApp chat which was showing three photos and a small biodata.  

Her eyes fall on the pics first, even after looking at him from different angles she didn't find him pleasing for eyes nor his face was even near her dream Prince Charming. Then she glanced at the biodata, there were many things in that but she focused on only four. 

Name: Danish Qureshi.

Age: 40 years

Hight: 6'1 

Occupation: Inspector in UP police.

40 years? Is this a typing mistake? The girl who turned 26 yesterday only, questioned herself.

6'1… too tall. I'm just 5'4. She wasn't even complete 5'4 but somewhere between 5'3 and 5'4. 

Placing the mobile on her chest she laid down on the bed staring at the ceiling silently. After struggling too much with her thoughts she took a deep breath and dialled a number. 

"Hello. Kya haal hai madam?" It was her dream voice which brought a smile on her face but a sad smile.

(How are you Madam?)

"Main theek hu aap kese hain?"

(I'm fine and you?)

"Hmm… main to sach mein theek hu lekin tum theek nhi ho. Batao kya masla hai?" She closed her eyes and let the tear slipped down from the corner of her eyes. 

(Hmm... I'm actually fine but you're not. Tell me what's the matter?)

"Aapko kese pta koi masla hai?"

(How do you know there is a matter?)

"Jaanta hu main tumhe, batao kya masla hai?" He asked but she stay silent and tears rolled down from her eyes. "Mummy ki yaad aa rahi hai?" He asked in a hushed tone and she sobbed but very next moment wiped her tears while cutting the call. She waited for his call for the next ten minutes but he didn't call back as he never called her ever in these three years other than two times. And those two calls had

changed many things in between them. 

(I know you well, tell me what's wrong?)

(Missing mummy?)

Wiping the fresh tears she went to the kitchen as it was already 4 pm and she had to prepare dinner for herself and her brother Mohsin, who came back by 8 pm. She didn't even have time to miss her mother who passed away two months prior. In only one hour she was done with cooking and cleaning the kitchen at the same time a knock on the door indicated that her tuition students were there. Opening the door she let them in and started her work which was going to be continued till 8 pm. 

Soon Mohsin arrived and she served him dinner then after completing other chores she found herself free to take some rest but due to an uneasy feeling she was unable to find the required amount of peace. Leaving with no other option she decided to go upstairs so that she could spend some time with her uncle and aunty whom she loved just like second parents. 

As usual, without knocking on the door she walked in the long room and took steps on the carpeted floor which goes to the living room, where she knew her uncle and aunty must be sitting. Before she could open the curtains to step in the room a voice stopped her. 

"Madiha ki shadi ki kya zarurat hai abhi? Abhi aap par kitna karz hai… kese krenge uski shadi? Aapke apne bachho ke kharche kam hain kya jo aap ek aur kharcha apne sar lene jaa rahe hain? Pehle uski maa aur bhai par itna kharcha ho gya ab uski shadi... Ye log to hamari jaan par kisi azaab ki tarha musallat ho gye hain." Madiha was shocked to hear that from her aunt whom she loves just like her mother. For the first time she got to know that some people hate us but act so well like living us.

(Why are you thinking about Madiha's marriage? Don't you know you're already indebted... How will you manage her wedding expenses? Are the expenses of your own children less, that you're going to take another expense on your head? We already have spent a lot on her mother and brother, now on her wedding... These people have become a curse in our lives.)

"Danish ko jahez ke naam par kuch nhi chahiye, uski behan ki shadi ke baad uska ghar sambhalne wala bhi koi nhi hoga to wo saadgi se nikkah karna chahta hai, masjid mein nikkah aur behen ki maaiyon (haldi ceremony) mein apna walima kar lega. Agar Madiha ko itne age gap se koi aeytraaz na ho to ye rishta pakka hi samjho." Uncle replied in a hushed tone

(Danish does not want anything in the name of dowry, after his sister's marriage there will be no one to take care of his house, so he wants to get married. He wants to get married in a simple way. Nikkah in mosque and reception party in his sister's maaiyon (haldi ceremony). If Madiha doesn't mind the age gap then this match is almost fixed.)

"Aesi baat hai to theek hai warna main to preshan ho gayi thi ki iski shadi ka kharcha kaha se hoga? Aur rahi baat umar ki to main samjhaungi use, ladka achha hai, umar se kya hota hai? Itna achha rishta kaha milega use? Wese bhi 26 ki ho chuki hai, 1-2 saal baad ladkiyon ke achhe rishte to aate nhi hain… tallaqshuda bachho wale aadmiyon ke rishte aate hain ya aese aadmiyon se jinki biwi mar chuki hoti hai… is se achha to ye ladka kuwara hai aur kisi cheez ki kami nahi hai." Madiha didn't listen to anything else, she didn't have the guts to tolerate more she silently came back downstairs. 

(Oh, If it is such a thing, then it is fine, otherwise I have been worried about the wedding expenses. And if it comes to the age gap, I'll talk to her. Age is just a number. She is already 26, she won't get such a great proposal. And after a few years girls start getting proposals from divorced or widower who already have kids. This proposal is much better, at least he's a bachelor.)

Laying in her bed she was gazing at ceiling without blinking. Opening the photo gallery she looked at that face keenly but didn't like him again. Closing her eyes she turned her side while remembering her life.

She was just fifteen when her father and mother got separated. Her mother along with her two children was on the road. They three didn't want to be burden on anyone but they didn't have any other shelter so eventually the lady came to her mother's home. After struggling to find out a job for two years Madiha's mother was diagnosed with a desease which was incurable. Madiha was only 18 at that time. Eventually she started giving rest to her mother and started handling household chores and to contribute in expenses she started giving tuitions, side by side she was continuing her studies. For 7-8 years she had been looking after her mother but she passed away two months ago. Her brother Mohsin was four years younger than her, just last month he got a job with minimal salary but there were good chances of promotion in upcoming three years so he was hopeful to get a better life soon. Madiha was happy for him, she always wanted better life for Mohsin but what about her? What about her life? 

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Opening her purse she counted all her savings. Even after including small notes and coins she found that near a few thousands. It was a reality check for her, she knew she couldn't bear the expenses of her wedding even after saving money for the next few years, and if it comes to Mohsin he has to build a home for himself, she couldn't rely on him for her expenses. She had almost no approach to the outer world. After completing school she served herself for her mother and home, her small world was limited to this home and those few students who come to study everyday but there was someone whom she wanted to make a member of her small world.

Athar

Athar Ansari...

Her only male friend. Or better to say her only friend. She met him three years ago when she took admission in masters. He was an ex student who was there for some of his documentation. They talked first time for exchanging of pen and glue but that wasn't their last conversation for sure. Athar's documentation had some complications due to which he was coming to college almost every day and Madiha also had some issues with her documents so she was always there for some reasons, surprisingly they were always at the same place at the same time.

Eventually they get to know each other little bit. Madiha shared that she won't attend college classes because of some responsibilities she had, And as a senior he told Madiha some important things regarding her studies including some books, way to make notes, writing style to conclude an answer and many more. She respectfully admired him. Later on their phone numbers were exchanged and after a few days when his documentation was completed he never visited college so as Madiha. In these three years they never met again but social media and calls never apart them too. With passing time he became her secret support. A support which was on the other side of mobile screen and couldn't come out of it. An imaginary figure who could listen to her anytime. Everytime. Without judging her. Without letting her fall. Without hurting her. 

He was her mentor. A supporter. An adviser. And much more. But even after everything he wasn't hers. She didn't had a right over him and she knew her limits very well. He was nothing to her other than a dream-man but dreams do not come true in real life.

There was a question too... What she was for him? Does she even matter to him? She was unsure because he never showed interest in her but she wanted to know.

Throwing herself on the bed she picked up the mobile and think for a few minutes. 

What will happen if she refuses this proposal? This was the only question popping in her head since last night.  

Numerous doubts and fears were not letting her heart beat peacefully. And where does she get all her doubts solved? Who answers all her weird as well as deep questions? Who had ability to make crying

Madiha smile? 

Dialing a number with the speed of light she took deep breath and wait for the Hello from other side but listened something else. 

"Kesi ho ab? Kal call disconnect kar di thi…" 

(How are you now? You cut the call yesterday.)

"Mene disconnect kri thi to aap to call back bhi to kar sakte the." She muttered like a complaint.

(If I had disconnected, you could have called back as well.)

"Hmm… magar mene socha tumhe akela rehne ki zarurat hai, main jaanta hu khud ko sambhal logi tum." 

(Hmm... but I thought you needed to be alone, I know you can take care of yourself.)

"Kabhi kabhi koi chahiye bhi hota hai jo hume sambhaal le. Koi aesa ki jab hum rooyein to hamare aasu pochh de, hum kuch kehna chahein to wo sun le aur…" Madiha was saying when she was cut off in between.

(Sometimes we need someone who can take care of us. Someone who wipes our tears when we cry, listens to what we have to say and…)

"Main hu na. Batao kya hua hai?" Madiha stay silent for a moment and tears rolled down from her eyes.

"Madiha, tell me. Kisi ne kuch kaha hai?" He enquired in a hushed tone and she sniffled.  

(I'm here na, tell me what's the matter?)

(Madiha, has someone said something?)

"Nah." She sniffled

"Are you crying?"

"Nhi." she tried her best to make her voice normal.

"Kya hua hai mujhe batao. Aaj zyada thak gyi? Tabiyat to theek hai na Ya … ya mummy ki yaad aa rahi hai?" while asking last question his voice trambled a bit.

(Tell me what happened. Too tired today? Are you feeling well or… or are you missing mummy?)

"Mera rishta aaya hai." After all she expressed and there was a silence on the other side. She could listen her own heartbeat but wanted to listen something from other side. "Hello, are you there?" 

(I got a marriage proposal.)

"Of course I'm here. Bewawuf ladki, Isme roone wali kya hai? Ye to khushi ki baat hai Madiha." His voice was so cheerful that for a moment Madiha forgot what she was about to tell him next.

(Silly, why are you crying? You should be happy Madiha.)

"Aap nhi samjhenge main kyu roo rahi hu." she muttered.

(You won't understand why I am crying!)

"To samjhao main fariq betha hu samajhne ke liye." This time he was serious. And she told him everything from age difference to height difference to whatever she overheard last night. 

(Then tell me, I'm free to understand.)

"Hmm… it means tum is rishte se khush nhi ho." He muttered for himself and she nodded as if he was seeing her face. Well, he hadn't saw her face ever. In college too she use to cover her face so no one, specially boys never saw her. 

(Hmm... it means you're not happy with this proposal.)

"Mana kar do is rishte se. Simple. Roone se kya hota hai? Har problem ka solution nikalna padta hai." 

(Just refuse for this proposal. Simple. Crying is not a solution. We need to find solutions for every problem.)

"Mana karna bhi ek problem hai." She muttered and lightly pressed her lower lip in between teeth. 

(Even resusal is a problem.)

"What's the problem in that." This time he was confused.

"Kya guarantee hai ki agar is rishte ko mana kar du to koi aur achha rishta milega. Agar main jaanti hu ki koi aur hai jo mujhse shadi karne mein interested hai tab main is proposal ko mana karti hui theek bhi lagungi na." She muttered and there was a silence from other side. 

(What is the guarantee that I'll get a good match after refusing this proposal. If I know that there is someone else who is interested in marrying me, then I will feel right in rejecting the proposal, won't I?)

"Aesa koi hai tumhari zindagi mein?" After a silence of one minute he asked and Madiha sighed while holding her head. 

(Is there anyone in your life?)

"Agar aesa koi hota to ye masla main aapse nhi us se discuss kar rhi hoti." Madiha smiled sadly and took a pause before adding "Aur, wese bhi jo kuch aap mere baare mein jaante hain us se zyada main bhi apne baare mein kuch nhi jaanti, sab bta chuki hu aapko."

(If there was such a person, then I would not be discussing this issue with you but him.)

(And anyway, I don't know anything more about myself than what you know about me, I have already told you everything.)

"Iska matlab koi nhi hai. Achhi baat hai." He clearly snapped which turned her eyes wet. There was no one but she wanted him to take that empty place in her life.

(It mean there is no one. That's good.)

"Hmm… koi hai to nhi lekin main koi aesa deserve karti hu jo bina kahe meri baat samajh jaye, jo mujhe roote roote hasa de, jo mujhe…" before the list goes on he stopped her in between. Was it difficult for him to understand what she was trying to say? No. Not at all. 

(Hmm… there is no one but I deserve someone who understands me without saying anything, who makes me laugh while crying, who makes me…)

"Madiha har khwahish puri nhi hoti… bohot baar hum apni pohoch ke bahar ke khwaab dekh lete hain aur jab haqiqat mein aankh khulti hai to duniya jahannum lagne lagti hai. Hum sab bohot kuch chahte hain, bohot kuch deserve karte hain lekin hame wo sab milta nhi hai kyuki wo sab hamare liye hota hi nhi hai." Madiha was silent. She was hearing every word but her brain wasn't interpreting anything and when she understood the meaning of his answer her eyes rolled down few tears.

(Madiha, not every wish is fulfilled… many times we dream beyond our reach and when we wake up, the real world seems to be hell. We all want a lot, we all deserve a lot but we don't get it all because it isn't written for us.)

Athar was still saying something but now her brain was unable to conclude the meaning of those words, she was recalling those two calls which he made in these three years, otherwise only she called him.

Why everything was so confusing?

Why was she unable to conclude what he was holding in his heart but hiding in his words?

"Iska matlab main is rishte ke liye Haan kardu?" Without listening to what he was still saying she asked.

(It means I should accept this proposal?)

"Maine aesa to nhi kaha, ye tumhara apna decision hai, main isme kya keh sakta hu? Lekin jo feysla karo haqiqat ko saamne rakh ke karna khwabo ko neew bana kar zindagi ke hawayi mahal nhi bna karte." She was unable to say anything in reply. Removing the mobile phone from her ear she was staring the mobile screen for next two minutes. She wanted him to say something but he already said everything.

(I'm saying that! It's your life so the decision will also be yours. But whatever you decide, do it keeping the reality in front of you. beautiful dreams can't be the foundation of palaces of life.)

Without saying anything further she disconnect the call and wiped her tears while deleting his name from call logs but how could she delete this call from her memory? She had an unmatched memory when it comes to him… she notice and remembers everything about him from the colour of his shirt buttons in the very first meeting in the college to today's call when he wasn't breathing normally but his pattern was different, it seems he was holding deep breathes and letting them go after a long breaks.

After thinking about it a lot she made a decision and now she knew that it was going to be their last call ever. She regretted hanging up without even bidding goodbye but sometimes it is better to leave things with an open end…. Closer isn't necessary everytime.

After thinking a lot she smiled sadly, she could not be a burden on her mamu or brother for her marriage expenses. If she thinks about getting married after a few years of earning some money even then it was impossible, she couldn't earn and save much through tuitions and with a low confidence level she couldn't get a good job. Moreover she was at the stage of life when she wanted to settle down. She had been craving for a house which could be her home sweet home not a shelter home. A home where she could give all her love to get respect in return. She wanted someone who spent money on her with his happiness, she was tired of being her own warrior from a small age, now she wanted a knight for herself. Moreover she was scared of what she listened to yesterday from her Aunty… After a few years she didn't want to get married to a divorced or widower who would already have children.

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She was watering the plants kept near the door when her uncle return from his work. As soon as he witnessed her, a smile crept to his lips, and why wouldn't he smile after seeing such a beautiful face just like a doll with almond eyes, pink lips and a fine nose all settled on the rectangular shaped face.

"Assalamualaikum Mamu, how was your day?" Taking his laptop bag from his hand she asked and both walked side by side with silence in between them. 

"Have you seen photos?" He asked and Madiha's feet frooz on her spot. Her silence was saying that she had seen and disliked the guy in the pics. 

"What's your decision Madiha? I won't force you beta." He asked and Madiha's eyes get fixed on the floor. 

"Madiha?" 

"Do as you wish mamu, I trust your decision." Without looking up she muttered, her mamu kept watching her silently for next moment "Is this your final decision Madiha?"

She didn't lift her eyes because she didn't find courage to look up when they were talking about their marriage. Where one could find such a shy and modest girl in this era? Understanding the meaning of her silence the middle aged man patted her head and blessed her to get every happiness then walked ahead.

Madiha sat down on the floor silently, looking at the sky she blinked away her tears, clouds were changing their shapes with every passing moment so as her little dreams and suddenly a gust of wind took away the small piece of cloud, in no time it completely lost somewhere just like her dreams. 

Wiping away the drop of water from the corner of her eyes she forced a smile on her lips, she wasn't happy but not guilty either. She knew that Mamu had already spent a big amount of money on her mother's treatment, on her brother's education and small expenses weren't even in count. She didn't want to be one more burden on him, she was already indebted in front of him. 

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