Chapter 30

Another ordinary day of work but today he was feeling like running away from here. After attending Fayra's call he was happy as well as sad. He himself didn't know what exactly he was feeling. 

During lunch time he skipped lunch and decided to join Usman. Without any intention to disturb his prayer Danish started namaz a few steps away from this old man. Both of them were silently sitting in front of The Creator. 

Danish looked at Usman, he was lost in recitation. No one was there to talk to him. This emptiness was killing him. Standing up from his place he was about to walk away when a voice pulled his attention. 

“Where are you going?” Usman was looking towards him. 

“Umm…”

“Sit here.” It was an order Danish couldn't deny. Silently sitting beside Usman he waited for him to say something. Eyes fixed on the carpet underneath. 

“Ghar walo ki yaad aa rhi hai?” Danish slowly looked up. He wanted to say something but again looked at the floor and nodded. 

(Missing family?)

“Hum se sabse zyada mohabbat kon karta hai pta hai?” Usman asked and Danish thought for a moment then nodded his head. 

( Do you know who loves you the most?)

“Maa baap se zyada mohabbat koi nhi kar sakta.” Said Danish and Usman hummed but he wasn't satisfied with the answer. 

(No one can love us more than our parents.)

“More than parents?” Usman asked. 

“Umm… grandparents? I guess.” Danish muttered. 

“More than them?” This time Danish thought deeply. “Umm…” he was silent because he had no answer. He couldn't remember anyone. 

“Parents, grandparents, wives, children, and siblings all of them are humans. And, humans can't love unconditionally.” Usman’s words disappointed Danish. His parents loved him unconditionally, how could this man pass a judgement for them without knowing them? However, Usman understood the disagreement in his eyes. 

“Insaan ki mohabbat ek hadd tak hoti hai, khuda ki mohabbat behadd hai, Allah se zyada mohabbat koi nahi karta beta, chahe wo maa baap hi kyu na ho. Hum insaano ko to yaad kar lete hain kabhi tanhai mein baith ke allah ko yaad kra hai?” Usman's question hit Danish's heart. He never heard such a thing ever. 

(There is a limit to the love of a human being, but the love of God is limitless. No one loves us more than Allah loves us, not even our parents. We often do remember our loved ones but do we ever remember Allah while sitting alone?)

“Jab tanhai aur akelapan insaan ko andar hi andar khaa jata hai tab hi kyu hume allah ki yaad aati hai? Us se pehle kyu nhi yaad karte hum use?” Usman asked, his voice addressing pain and loneliness. Danish could say in reply that man usually forgets his Rabb (God) while focusing on his goals and worldly pleasures, but after seeing Usman's condition his tongue was tied. This man was broken beyond imagination. 

(Why do we remember Allah only when loneliness and solitude eats us from inside? Why don't we remember Him before that?)

“Sir, aap theek hain na?” Danish asked. He forgot his loneliness and pain after seeing Usman. 

(Sir, are you alright?)

“Hmm…” The old man nodded and stood up from his place.

“Sir aap theek nhi lag rhe.”

(Sir, you're not looking alright.)

“I'm fine, just acidity and heartburn.” Usman tried to smile but couldn't and walked away. 

Danish watched him walking towards the exit. Was he holding tears while going away? Or did Danish misunderstood tiredness present in his eyes?

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“Hello princess.” her heart stopped for a moment as her feet. It was Arsh standing outside her college. 

“If you think you can avoid me, it is your mistake. I can even come to your home to meet you." He came near her, Fayra turned to see if her friend was coming after her or not, but she was alone on the road.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked with anger but Arsh came one step closer to her. 

“I was missing you and our midnight meetings.” His husky voice stopped Fayra's breath. Arsh smiled at her and showed a picture flashing on his mobile screen. Fayra's face turned pale and tears gathered in her eyes. 

“Arsh.” she couldn't even utter his name properly. Back then, He was the one who blackmailed this girl to break the engagement and call her to meet him in the nightclub. She secretly went to meet him a few times. But now, she was watching her pics in which Arsh was holding her by the waist, the background was showing people dancing and drinking. 

“I was thinking about showing these pics to your family, especially your father to remind him that his daughter looks good with me. Only with me.” 

“Arsh, are you trying to blackmail me?” She muttered, tears were about to roll down from her eyes. 

“No Darling, not at all. I am only telling you how badly I miss you.” a wicked smile played on his face. “Come, let's have a coffee with me.” He gestured towards his car but Fayra took a step away from him. 

“I have to go home.” 

“I'll drop you.”

“No, I am calling papa to pick me up from here.” She controlled her hands to shiver with fear but it was getting impossible. 

“Sure, do it. I'll also meet him. I really want to tell him how much I love his daughter.” 

“Arsh aap chahte kya hain?” Fayra's Voice laced with frustration, anger and fear but Arsh wasn't so innocent as to tell her that he wanted to take revenge from Danish by using his wife. 

(Arsh, what do you want?)

“A coffee with you.” 

“Delete this photo. Right now. Otherwise I'll tell papa about this.” She tried to sound brave but Arsh smiled like a good boy. 

“Sure darling, let's go to your father's office together. Should I call my father too?” Fayra's heart skipped a beat, Adnaan shouldn't know about these photos. He shouldn't know about those secret midnight meetings. 

“Kaha chalna hai? Cafe ya apne papa ke office?” Opening the car door for her he asked like a gentleman who respects his girl's choice. Fayra's heart was beating faster but she couldn't decide anything right now. 

(Where do you wanna do? Cafe or to your father's office?)

“Arsh I trusted you.” 

“I want you to continue trusting me. I want you back in my life.” 

“I'm married to someone else, can't you understand this?” She yelled while crying.

“You're not happy with him. I'm still waiting for you, Fayra. I'm Still ready to give you a place in my life.” she was unable to understand what to say? “I'm regretting Darling, I'm regretting.” This time he was not looking like a blackmailer but a genuine lover who wants to get his love back. 

“Show these pics to anyone but I'm not coming with you.” And she walked away leaving Arsh shocked. He wasn't expecting this reply from her. 

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“Fayra aapiiiii.” As soon as she stepped into the home a loud call welcomed her. 

“Zunera … you scared me.” She put her hand on her heart but Zunera didn't care. 

“You know what, Bisma aapi is here for three days.” 

“Really?” Asked Fayra happily and stepped towards the hall. “Where is she?” Fayra asked when found everyone in the hall other than Bisma. 

“In her room, she was also waiting for you.” Zunera informed and Fayra ran upstairs without any delay. 

“Bisma aapi…” she walked in the room and hugged her sister, Bisma was surprised because of this sudden adoration, she didn't remember Fayra hugging her this way. 

“Fayra?” She smiled thinking that her sister was missing her but “are you crying?” 

“Tell me what happened?” 

“Bisma aapi my life is a problem itself. I'm tired now.” 

“What happened? Will you tell me?” Bisma asked, worried, but Fayra didn't trust anyone in this matter. She never shared her secrets with anyone other than Danish. Bisma forcefully broke the hug and cupped Fayra's face. 

“Are you tired because Chamu and Sara mami don't let you go anywhere?” Asked Bisma, because she couldn't imagine any other reason. Fayra kept watching her sister and wiped her tears. Her silence was considered as ‘yes’ by Bisma. 

“Ohhh my little baby.” Bisma wiped her tears lovingly. 

“What's going on here?” Ashar entered the room to see this scene where his wife and sister-in-law were displaying an emotional drama, he smiled to see Fayra's red nose and cute crying face. 

“Ashar, she wanted to go for an outing. Will you take us somewhere?” 

“Are you crying just for an outing?” Ashar asked with wide eyes but laughed lightly while coming near Fayra. 

“Pagal ladki.” Slowly slapping her head he muttered. “Learn something from your sister, she knows how to make her demands fulfilled, not crying like you. Cry baby.” 

“Ashar bhai, I'm not a cry baby.” Fayra protested while wiping the remaining tears, “I'm not a baby, stop treating me like a baby.” smudging her kajal unknowingly she grimaced. 

“Oh okay, I'm sorry, crying woman.” Ashar laughed so as Bisma which eventually made Fayra smile. 

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Turning his side he pulled the soft blanket over his head and adjusted himself in the bed. It was comfortable. Peaceful. However, now he was unable to sleep more. Opening his eyes he found himself in a dark room which was yelling that he already slept more than enough. Rubbing his eyes he sat down on the bed and wore his glasses. Turning on the light he glanced at the clock and…

“What?” He was amazed to witness that it was already 8:30 pm. Getting out of the bed with a jolt he stepped into the bathroom for ablution and within a few minutes he was standing on the prayer mat to pray the last namaz of the day. 

Today, Usman's lecture was not only a cluster of words, it was a great lesson of life which affected Danish's heart. After coming back from office he didn't miss the namaz, otherwise it was the least important task for him. He never paid attention to namaz, but today he performed afternoon namaz as well as made dua to get happiness and peace; surprisingly he was able to take a nap after namaz. A two hour long nap that brought peace and tranquility. And now he was again sitting on the prayer mat making dua. 

“Ya Allah, forgive me. Yes, I make mistakes but you're the forgiver. Make success my destiny, I'm tired of doing anything and still get nothing but failure. I'm tired. Why am I unsuccessful in every field? Neither my financial life is stable nor my married life. Why do I only have setbacks in life?” He didn't know for how long he was sharing his pains with the almighty. The chain of supplication and pain broke by the groaning of his empty stomach. It was already dinner time and he was invited by Aisha.

Holding an ice cream tub in his hand he walked towards Usman’s apartment. After ringing the doorbell a few times he realised that the home was locked. 

“Mujhse daal chawal ka wada kar ke ye ladki kaha chali gyi.” He went back to his apartment with a sad heart and picked his mobile phone to notice something extraordinary. It showed 4 missed calls from Aisha. 

(Where has this girl gone after inviting me for Dal Chawal?) 

“Am I really sleepy like a dog?” He muttered while returning the call. How could he not wake up with the ringing mobile? 

“Hello.” A crying voice picked the call which immediately vanished Danish's smile. 

“Aisha, are you crying?” 

“Danish,” she broke down in tears once again, hiccups weren't allowing her to say anything but she managed to speak “Baba… he got a heart attack.” 

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A girl whose head was covered with her dupatta was sitting alone in the empty corridor of the hospital. It wasn't difficult for Danish to recognise who she was. 

“Aisha.” She turned to see the owner of this voice and Danish was lost somewhere in her tears. The face which held tight on her smile was covered with tears. 

“How is Usman sir? What happened suddenly? And what doctor is saying?” Danish asked and Aisha told him that Usman was looking weak but he was almost fine. She was preparing dinner just like everyday and suddenly it happened. 

“Aap ghar chale jaiye. Kal aapko office jana hoga na.” Aisha said the most formal line after a few minutes of long silence and Danish gave her a disappointed look. The clock hands were showing 10 at night, was he so irresponsible to leave this girl alone? 

(You go home, you have to go to the office tomorrow.)

“I'm not going anywhere leaving you here.” Sitting beside her he announced his decision and Aisha wiped her tears. She was trying her best to not cry but couldn't help. Tears were rolling down from her eyes regularly. Danish didn't know what to do, he was unable to understand how to console a girl, especially when he wasn't very friendly with her. He stood up and left. Aisha saw the last end of the corridor and closed her eyes. He was gone! 

‘For how long could he sit here?’ she asked herself and continued what she was already doing.

Dua. Prayer.

But after some time he was back with a bottle of water and two sandwiches. 

“Have something.” He passed a sandwich towards her but she shook her head. New tears rolled down her eyes. 

“Aisha…” 

“Just give me some water.” She muttered but Danish shook his head. 

“No, it's not good to have water on an empty stomach. At least have a few bites then drink water.”

“Danish please, I don't want to have anything right now.” she muttered. 

“Who will look after Usman sir if you become physically weak? Do you want him to look after you when he needs you the most?” Aisha was witnessing a new Danish who was showing his caring side, a friendly side. Until yesterday she had only one feeling for Danish. Sympathy. Because he was living away from his family and Aisha knew how it feels to miss your family but today, unknowingly, she felt something for him. Something unnameable. 

“Come on. Have this. Your Baba will be fine soon. He is a warrior, so are you! Don't become weak.” the girl, who was secretly broken, found a friend. She grabbed the sandwich and took the first bite. 

“Don't cry, he will be fine.” He muttered. 

“I already miss my Ammi, I can't even imagine living without Baba.” She cried and Danish sighed. 

“Who is saying to imagine this? Trust Allah. Your Baba will be okay soon.” Danish smiled and Aisha saw him with hopeful eyes, he gestured towards the sandwich and passed her water after a few bites. 

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Danish woke up because of a voice and noticed Aisha sitting beside him, she was also sleeping resting her head on the wall. A nurse was standing in front of them, and the ICU door was opened by another nurse who walked somewhere in a hurry. 

“How is he?” Danish asked in a hushed voice but the nurse shook her head while saying something, he didn't understand or maybe he didn't want to believe.

“What?” Danish asked, he didn't realise when his eyes filled with tears. 

“He is no more.” The words fell on him like a hard rock. His Usman sir was fine till a few hours ago, he was telling him to love Allah more than anyone else and now he was gone to Allah. This soon? 

Danish looked at Aisha. She was sleeping peacefully. He lifted his hand to shake her shoulder but couldn't find courage. What would he tell her? How would he tell her the truth? How would he inform her that his assurance was a lie, her father lost the battle.

Removing his specs he closed his eyes and wiped her tears with his handkerchief. Danish took a deep breath and let it go. He composed himself and looked at the peaceful girl. 

“Aisha.” He slowly called her, but she didn't wake up. “Aisha.” This time he lightly touched her shoulder which worked, she opened her eyes and looked at the nurse then towards Danish then towards the ICU door which was already open. 

“Is Baba better now?” After witnessing the ICU door open she concluded that her Baba was being shifted to the other room and Danish had no courage to tell her the truth. 

“Can I meet him now?” with a hopeful shine in her eyes she asked the nurse who looked at Danish, 

“Yes you can meet him but after a few more minutes.” Danish replied and Aisha smiled wholeheartedly. The nurse left and Aisha again looked at Danish.

“You know what Danish, I was having a dream… I saw that Ammi had come to meet Baba, he was so happy to see her and at the end they both were adoring me just the way they used to do in childhood.” Aisha was narrating her dream and Danish was sitting like a dummy. He didn't have courage to tell her that her Baba was already gone to meet her Ammi. 

“Hmm… have this. Then meet your Baba.” Passing the Sandwich which he bought for himself he asked but she shook her head. 

“I'm not hungry, when will they let me meet him?” She asked.

“Soon, but have something because after that you will not get time na. You will be busy looking after your Baba.” Danish forced her and she agreed. She broke the sandwich into two equal halves and passed one part of him. He silently held it and waited for her to finish her part. As soon as it was finished, Danish passed the remaining half, she denied at first but then started having it. 

“Why are you looking worried?” She asked to get no response but she noticed his eyes fixed on her face. 

“Danish?” She felt odd.

“Have it.” He muttered but his voice broke, Aisha looked at the sandwich in her hand, only two bites were left, she was about to lift her hand but Danish's eyes filled with tears, he looked away.

“Danish.” This time Aisha’s voice was dull and laced with fear. “Danish, Baba is fine. Right. He is fine.” Her voice trembled and he looked at her, eyes filled with tears. Aisha’s eyes were also filled with tears.

“Don't cry, he is happy with your Ammi.” His voice broke down. He saw  Aisha’s hand falling down like a lifeless material.

“Baba? No.” She stood up with a jolt and walked towards the ICU, this time the door was closed, doctors were giving the last try but everything seems pointless at this time. 

“Baba.” She cried out helplessly. Miserably. Danish was standing near her, crying with her. He wasn't crying for Usman, he was crying for this pain. He was crying with the fear of losing a beloved. He knew this pain, he had lost his beloved grandparents. 

Baat nikli to har baat pe roona aaya

Kabhi khudpe to kabhi halkat pe roona aaya, 

Kaun rota hai kisi aur ki Khatir ai dost

sab ko apni hi kisi baat pe rona aaya

_Sahir Ludhyanvi. 

(Sometimes I felt like crying over myself, sometimes over the circumstances.

When the topic came out, I felt like crying over every single thing.

Who cries for someone else, oh friend!

Everyone felt like crying about something of their own.)

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