Author: writerbyheart01
Published: 13/09/24
Autumn, with its crisp air and fading warmth, often mirrors the emotions of love and longing. The season's golden leaves, falling softly to the ground, evoke a sense of beauty and impermanence, much like love that blooms brightly before it begins to fade. The cool winds of autumn carry with them a quiet ache, reminding us of the bittersweetness of separation and yearning. In its stillness, the season holds both the warmth of cherished moments and the chill of distance. The another season of life
“Fayra,”
“Yeah mummy?” munching on the chips she jumped to sit on the kitchen counter.
“Have you thought about everything happening?” Sara asked while checking the status of curry present on the gas stove.
“Umm… about what?” Fayra asked, trying hard to get the very last bit of tangy and spicy masala present in the bottom of the packet.
“It has been almost two months since you got married to Danish, have you thought about this marriage?” Sara stopped her hand to work on the curry present in front of her eyes and focused on her daughter.
“Ab kya sochna hai uske baare mein? Jo hona tha wo to ho chuka.” Shrugging her shoulder she balled the packet of chips and bounced towards the bin. It missed the target but Sara’s deadly glare didn't miss one.
(What should I think about it? Whatever had to happen has already happened…)
“Fayra tum chhoti bachhi nhi ho ab, apni harkate sudhar lo, warna main tumhe apne tariqe se sudhar dungi aur dekh lungi tumhare Abba ko bhi, tumhe bigadne mein sabse bada contribution Adnaan ka hi hai.” Sara glared at her daughter who grimaced but jumped off the kitchen platform to pick the empty packet and let it end at the correct place.
(You are not a small kid, mend your ways otherwise I will do this work in my own way, and handle the one who is responsible to spoil you the most. Only Adnaan is responsible for this.)
“Where are you going? I'm talking to you. Am I not?” Sara’s voice stopped Fayra from going back to her room.
“What happened mummy?”
“Have you thought about this marriage? Are you even thinking about moving on?” Sara asked what she already wanted to ask Fayra for the last few days but couldn't, however she had to talk about this matter as soon as she could.
“What is left to think about? There was no option at that time so you people got us married but now what?” Fayra shrugged.
“Now move on… accept this marriage. What else?”
“Accept this marriage? How? I already have accepted that we are married, what is the meaning of acceptance other than this?”
Sara was unable to understand if her daughter was actually naive or just pretending to be one, she was only blinking in disbelief.
“Fayra…”
“Yeah mummy?”
“Acceptance of marriage means to accept Danish as your husband, to come out of this cousin zone and strengthen your new relationship. Understood something or not?” This time Fayra was blinking blankly.
“You know what mummy, Danish bhai…”
“Stop calling him bhai, he is not one…” Sara was as straight as a line but Fayra furrowed.
“Mummy, we both are not interested in this marriage thing…”
“Only you. Don't include Danish in this.” Sara announced.
“Why? Why shouldn't I include him in this?”
“Because he is doing all the effort to gain your love and trust.”
“What? What are you saying mummy? Please don't say this in front of him… how would he feel if he heard this… he will dislike me… we like each other as cousins.” a frustrated Fayra announced what she felt.
“No. Fayra, have you ever noticed Danish's efforts for you? Have you ever noticed his eyes… how does he watch you, the way he brings you chocolates, the way he gives you attention… Do you really think it is all because of the bond of a cousin?” Fayra was in chaos. She wanted to tell her mother that whatever she concluded was nothing but a beautiful lie however she was angry at this point.
“Please mummy, don't turn things the other way around.” and she was gone with another level of frustration leaving Sara in chaos because only yesterday Anzala called Adnaan and Sara to his bedroom as he was concerned about his only son, Danish. No father wants to see his son suffering in a single sided relationship. In the case of this marriage, everyone, except Fayra, could see Danish's selfless efforts but Fayra was not ready to consider this relationship.
<><><><>
She skipped the dinner just to demonstrate her anger to her mother. Adnaan was about to go to call her but Sara stopped him and he helplessly sat in his bedroom waiting for his wife to sleep so that he could bring Fayra around.
“Adnaan, I'm not going to sleep so soon, so change your mind and sleep now.” Sara somehow managed to read his mind and Adnaan sat down on the bed with a jolt.
“Sara, Don't you think you're too harsh with our daughter… She is not mature enough to understand the sincerity of this relationship that's why she is not accepting everything, give her some time. Everything will be fine.” Sara turned to see her husband for whom his daughter was never going to grow up.
“You know what Adnaan… you're playing with Fayra's life by over pampering her. Let her grow up, she is not a kid anymore.”
“Not mature either.” He smiled sadly.
“You're thinking about your daughter, Anzala bhai is worried about his son… you both are correct at your place.” Sara took a pause and Adnaan hummed. “But this matter can be solved only and only if Fayra thinks about this matter but she is not ready to come out of this cousin zone.”
“Sara, Give Fayra some time, don't you remember our case? Even after being engaged for some five years we took time accepting each other as husband and wife. Fayra and Danish were married just two months ago.” Adnaan was defending her daughter but Sara was concerned about Danish and Anzala’s reaction because of Fayra’s delay. Because this Anzala was pretty different from the Anzala of 25 years ago. Now he was less jolly and more serious. He wasn’t a prankster for anyone other than Maizah. His first priority was Danish and Bisma, second was business and third was the name and reputation of his family. Here, the longing in Danish’s eyes telling him everyday that was failing as a father because he was unable to do anything for him.
<><><><>
Hugging her knees she sat on the floor and looked at the wall clock. She was expecting Adnaan to come to bring her around but today her hero was late.However another hero stepped in the room for sure.
“Fayra, wanna have some Coffee?” She looked at the clock again. Exact twelve. “If yes, go and make one for me too.” Danish sat down on the edge of the bed just beside Fayra, he was enthusiastic at this moment but Fayra was looking dull.
“Fayra kya hua?” Danish sat down on the floor waiting for her reply but she didn't utter a single word for a few moments. “Fayra?” again a call with a love filled voice.
(What happened?)
“Nothing, just leave me alone.” she shook her head before resting her head on her knees. Today she was again silent. This happened only in two cases, first, if she was sad and second if was ill. And today, according to Danish, there was no reason for being sad. Placing the back of his fingers on Fayra’s forehead he checked the temperature which was absolutely fine. Unfortunately she was not looking fine. “Have dinner or not?” He cupped her face and pushed the messy hair locks away from her cute face.
“Why are you doing all these things?” she muttered while slowly removing his hands from her face.
“Umm? What am I doing?” Danish asked, confused. He looked at his hands, the softness against his skin felt pleasant now. Why, he didn't know.
“Why are you doing all these things? Like bringing me pizza, talking to me when I'm not in a good mood and all.” Fayra asked while pushing her naturally messy curls away from her face.
“Because…” he could tell her that ‘You are my wife Fayra, I can't see you sad or so, your tears break my heart more than you can even imagine’, however he controlled himself and his emotions.
“Because I do care about you.” he expressed a tiny portion of truth that forced Fayra to sigh.
“Please don't.”
“I can’t help in this matter. I can’t ignore you if you are in trouble or sad.”
“That’s the problem na, our Family is thinking odd things about us because of your extra protection and care.”
“What odd things?”
“Mummy thinks that you love me, that's why you do all these efforts for me.” She shared. Danish was surprised to know that the family members were noticing his efforts, but this girl was blind when it came to Danish. “That’s why I want you to stay away from me. I just don't want anyone to conclude rubbish about us.” she let the frustration out but hurt his heart deeply.
“Rubbish?” Danish uttered in an undertone. He wanted to fake a smile but couldn't.
“Of course.” Fayra shrugged.
“Hmm… right.” he muttered and then there was silence in the room because human ears can't hear the commotion of hearts, if they could then the world was a different place.
“Please stay away from me.” again a request.
“Will you be able to stay away from me? Am I the only one who cares about you, don't you feel the same for me, Fayra?”
“Try to understand Danish bhai…”
“I'm not your bhai Fayra.” a frustrated Danish corrected her. Even after two months of their nikkah her tongue slipped a few times.
‘Whatever… I just want you to understand that I also care for you, I admire you and your sensibility but our family is seeing this care in a different way,”
“Hmm…” he muttered. “Fine but...”
“What now?” she asked.
“I can’t stay away from you, at least not while living under the same roof..”
“So what do you mean? Should I leave this home?” She cut his sentence in the middle.
“No, silly.” he smacked his forehead and set his specs. “Let me complete first.”
“sure,” she muttered
“I was saying that Let our family say or think whatever they’re thinking, but we will be friends like always. No arguments, No disputes. Agree?” Fayra kept watching him for a long minute. He was the same Danish who had been her favourite since childhood but now twists of life were forcing her to stay away from him. Or maybe life was pushing her towards him but she was forcing herself in an opposite direction. Whatever it was…going upstream is always challenging. Sometimes life becomes difficult because of what destiny serves us and sometimes we make life difficult by not accepting fate. Unfortunately, Fayra was from those who make their life difficult by not accepting fate.
However she wasn't mature enough to understand the games of destiny. She was still living in the fairytales where the princess came across only one prince and ended up with him only.
Alas, life isn't a fairytale, even if it is, a prince is always missing from it. Here she was getting one but not understanding his worth.
“Fayra? Agree?” Danish asked and Fayra took some time to process the thoughts.
“Umm… okay. Got it… but…” a little pause already increased Danish’s heartbeat. “I can’t think about you in that way and I am sure, you also can’t. Isn’t it?” There was no reply from Danish because he was not sure how to talk about his feelings. He was afraid to lose Fayra at this stage only. He couldn't afford to. Getting no reply from his side she continued, “Don't you think we should talk to our elders about this relationship clearly and terminate it at this stage only? I mean what’s the benefit of holding things together when we actually can't?” she expressed what was essential for her at this point but Danish was beyond shock. Accepting this demand was clearly going away from his dreams but he knew a good part of his parents' love story. He knew how with passing time they accepted each other with all their heart and soul.
“Fine- but…” he shifted a bit closer to her and held her hands. “Let our family members witness that we are not a good match. Let them understand that their decision was wrong. Let them support us instead of going against our decision. Fayra, I don’t want to rebel against my family, and I’m sure. Neither you wanna do so.”
“But It is not a rebel.” she asserted.
“For now it is not looking like one but it actually is.” He assured her.
“Really?” she asked and Danish nodded.
Was it so easy to manipulate her?
Umm… Yes, Actually it was.
“Try to understand Fayra, Just a few months, and they will understand that we are not meant to end up together.”
“Are you sure?” holding numerous creases on her forehead Fayra asked and Danish sighed while resting her head with the bed. He didn't wanna be sure about this matter.
“Fayra…’
“Ji?”
(yeah?)
“Sar mein bohot dard ho rha hai.” He couldn't mention his heart ache but at least share the headache with her.
(My head is aching a lot.)
“Why so?” she asked, sitting with a straight back.
“Maybe because of skipping the dinner.” he muttered without changing his position.
“But why did you skip dinner? Why can’t you be careful towards yourself?” she practically scolded him for what she did herself.
“I didn't want to eat okra, you know na, I only eat okra cooked by Sara Mami.” he grimaced and sat down with a straight back.
“Why didn't you come to join us? Or you could go to Chachi na… you’re so careless Dan…” she stopped in between because calling him Danish bhai was inappropriate but only Danish felt heavy on her tongue.
“Tumne kya khaya dinner me?” he asked and she pouted.
(What did you have for dinner?)
“I skipped too…”
“Aren’t you hungry?” he asked and she nodded with an innocent pout. She was waiting for Adnaan to come with something to eat but his wife was strict this time. “Wanna have Pizza?” he asked and she shook her head.
“I already have enough pizza this week, no more.”
“Hmm…” he was thinking about offering her a small outing but she stood up with enthusiasm.
“Maggi khayenge?”
(Wanna have maggi?)
“Maggi ko kon mana karta hai?”
(Who refuses to have maggi?)
“Done… I’m making maggi, come, help me.” she walked towards the door while making a messy bun out of her messy hair and Danish widened his eyes.
“Fayra, are you for real? Do you need help in making maggi? What do we have to do other than boil some water and empty the packets into it?” Danish, being Momina’s grandson, didn't let the chance slip away from his hand and Fayra being Maizah’s niece didn't stay without answering back.
“Instead of your tongue you should move your hands to cut the vegetables.” pulling her sleeves to elbows she walked, almost ran, towards the kitchen followed by Danish.
“Not Vegetable maggi, please.” he pleaded
“Shut up.” An order.
“Okay you make one for yourself and I’ll make the plain one for myself.”
“Done,” She agreed.
<><><><>
Adnaan came out of the room when Sara dozed off. He was supposed to go to Fayra’s room to see her but he was surprised to see Danish and Fayra coming out of the kitchen holding bowls of noodles and a glass of soft drinks in their hands. Instead of approaching them he only watched the scene from the doorstep of his bedroom. Soon they both walked upstairs, laughing and talking to each other without knowing about someone’s presence in the background.
“Lets go to my room. We will watch a movie.” Danish offered but Fayra pulled a face.
“No, let's go to the terrace.”
“Done” How could Danish refuse? He could even follow this girl to hell, it was only about the terrace.
Taking their seat on the swing they both placed the glasses of soft drinks aside and looked at the sky. The almost full moon was hanging in between the dark sky and numerous stars playing hide and seek with the clouds swinging on the rope of the air holding a mild fragrance in itself.
“Do you still like sky gazing?” Danish asked, remembering their childhood. When they were kids Adnaan and Sara used to bring them to the terrace at the time of power cuts or when the weather was pleasant. All the other kids used to play with Sara with Fayra was a different case, lying back on the floor she used to watch stars and the moon. She always needed Adnaan’s arm to rest her little head on.Danish remembered every detail. Even if he tried, he was unable to forget those small as well as big big things.
“I love to…” she smiled while glancing at Danish and again turned her face towards the sky.
“I too love the moon…” he smiled watching his moon without blinking. “Clumsy yet beautiful.” The additional statement attracted Fayra’s attention.
“Clumsy?” She was confused. How could the moon be clumsy?”
“Yeah, clumsy… see, every time it forgets to remove the dark stain of cloud from its beautiful face.” glancing at the moon showing a small patch of dark cloud he watched his moon, using his first finger he pushed the hair lock away from Fayra’s face. She looked at the moon and grimaced at Danish’s conclusion without knowing what he was actually saying.
Who forgets every time to remove the dark patch of hairlock from her face?
His Moon. His Fayra.
“You are weird.” she rolled her eyes while having the very first bite of the vegetable loaded maggi.
“And you are an idiot.”
“Shut up.” she scolded him.
”Fayra.” He was shocked at her dominating reply but right now Fayra was in a good mood so she was not going to leave this convo at this point. mimicking his shocked face she said “Danish bh…” but she stopped, first because Danish literally joined his head in front of her and second he herself had controlled her tongue.
“I can’t call you Danish… it feels disrespectful as you are too older than me… either I can call you Danish Bhai or anything else but not Danish.”
“Okay, call me by any other name.” he demanded and Fayra had a mouthful of noodles while thinking about a good name.
“Teddy Bear.” Fayra laughed out loud and Poor Danish was shocked. In childhood Danish gained weight and became a Moota Bhaalu, and one day the little Zinia called him… it was the turning point when Danish became the Teddy bear of the Family. This name was the most disliked one by Danish.
“Fayra…” again he was shocked.
“Okay… I’m sorry” she managed to stop herself from bursting out again but she was remembering the time when he used to fight with Afnaan whenever he called Danish Teddy Bear to tease him, but now she was doing the same. “If not this then Chashmish?” Fayra again burst out in a guffaw and Danish glared at her. Another name he disliked the most.
“Okay sorry…” She pressed her lips together while looking away but Danish was still glaring at her.
“Oh come on, enough for now… Danish Bhai.” this time she stressed on Bhai to tease him and he huffed.
“Is this fine? Danish Bh…”
“Teddy bear is fine.” Before she could add Bhai at the end of his name he stood up with the bowl of Maggi and walked down stairs. Fayra burst out loud, she was unable to control her laughter, her voice was so loud that Danish came back from the third stair and glared at her but she was busy laughing. He couldn’t help but smile while going back but not before mumbling “Pagal (Idiot)”
<><><>
No Author’s Note because…
Mood nhi hai…bye bye.
N.Jamal