Chapter 25

Sitting in her room she was trying to conclude what was going on in her life. Not only the diary but she found a brown envelope in that drawer. She was again shocked to see the photos present in it. From mid teenage till now, that envelope contained a beautiful chronicle of Fayra. They were random clicks or better to say secret clicks. Putting the photos aside she picked the diary one more time. She knew Danish only wrote when he felt the urge to share his feelings, but she never knew that she was the main topic of his journal. 

Dear diary,

Nani Jaan ne kyu keh diya tha ki Fayra aur meri shadi hogi? Main unke words nhi bhul paa rha lekin chamu ne uska rishta kisi aur ke sath fix kar diya? Magar kyu? Nhi dekha jaa rha mujhse ye sab. 

(Why did Nani say that Fayra and I will get married? I  can't forget her words but Chamu already fixed her match with someone else. But why? How can he do this? I can't see this happening in front of my eyes.)

<><>

Dear Diary, 

Kyu? Akhir kyu? Kya galti hai meri jiski saza mujhe is tarha mil rhi hai? Jab wo Arsh Fayra ke sath khada hua use engagement ring pehna rha tha to mujhe aesa laga maano mujhe kisi ne saza de di. Andar hi andar hazar bar marta hu jab use Fayda ke sath imagine karta hu. 

(Why? Just why? Why am I getting punished in this way for no reason? When Arsh was slipping the engagement ring in Fayra’s finger it worked like a dagger to me. I die a thousand times when I imagine him with Fayra.)

<><>

“Yeah, sure.” He said on the phone call while gesturing to Zinia to get out of the car. This call was important to him. Holding a big grin she walked towards the, never ending the call, and found elders still discussing something. Their expression mixed with happiness and seriousness. 

“Okay I'll check it. Thank you so much.” He smiled and cut the call. 

“There is a good news.” Maizah said the exact same words that Danish was about to say. His brows furrowed. 

“What?” 

“Your wedding. This time, an official one. Next month.” Maizah blasted a happiness bomb on her son's head. But Danish's face turned pale, he couldn't believe this. Two of his dreams turned to reality on the same day! Only a few minutes ago he got a call to get the confirmation of his visa to UAE, and now his wedding with his dream girl. 

“Aren't you happy?” Asked Sara, Danish's pale face was telling an unexpected story. 

“I?” Danish stammered and shook his head. “No, I'm not…” he watched his words and nodded. “Of course, I'm. I'm happy.” He tried to smile but couldn't trust the reality so soon. 

“Are you okay?” Adnaan asked after noticing this behaviour of his nephew. 

“Where is Fayra?” He asked. He already had good news and now this one too, only she had the right to know them first. 

“She is upstairs.” Danish didn't wait a second after getting Sara’s reply. 

“Isn't he ready for this marriage? Or …” Adnaan asked after watching the pale face of Danish but Maizah rolled her eyes. 

“Janab ne hi zidd pakad rakhi hai ki rukhsati kara do, hum sab ke samne aese masoom ban rha hai.” 

(Only sir wanted this farewell to happen soon, just acting innocent in front of us.)

“Bilkul tujh par gy hai, masoom lagti thi lekin thi puri chudail.” After a long time Anzala teased his wife just to get a slap on his arm. 

(Just like you, innocent by face, but a witch in reality..)

“Haan shukar hai mujh par hi gya hai, tujh jesa to nhi hai na, dil phaik aashiq, har ladki k sath flirt karta rehta tha.” 

(Thankfully he resembles me, not you. You bloody flirt.)

“Flirt? Mujhe flirt karne ki kya zarurat thi? Ladkiya mere aage peeche ghumti thi, main hu hi itna smart.” 

(Flirt? I didn't need to flirt, girls were already around me.)

“kharab cheezo ke aage peeche makkhiya mandrati hi rehti hain…” Maizah huffed and walked away with anger. 

(Yeah, sure. Flies roam around rotten things.)

“Wo sab to chali gyi ek makhhi aaj bhi yahi hai…” Anzala yelled, making Adnaan burst out laughing.

(Hmm… all the flies are gone other than one.)

“Us bechari ki qismat phuti huyi hogi.” Maizah yelled from the doorway and Sara gave a disappointed look to both the men enjoying the situation. 

(Her bad luck, she stuck with you.)

“Tu kyu ghur rhi hai, jangli billi?” Adnaan asked while raising his brow. 

(Why are you glaring at me, my wild cat?)

“Soch rhi hu ki Danish ne kabhi meri beti ke sath aesa kra to uski haddiya main hi tood du ya Fayra ko training du?” And she also walked away while huffing. 

(Nothing, just wondering if Danish do this with my daughter in future. What will I do? Will I break his bones on my own or ask Fayra to perform this great task?)

“My poor son…” Said Anzala while glancing at the mobile phone to check the time, he was happy, after a long time everyone was happy because things were coming to a better place but it was Rizwi family…

Could everything be fixed so easily?

Umm… No! Not really!

<><><>

“Fayra…” Danish yelled with excitement, he didn't bother to knock the door, just stepped in the room where Fayra was sitting on the floor, back and head resting with the wall, eyes closed and face pale. 

“Fayra, listen. I'm so happy. You know there are two pieces of good news, actually three but two are related to us…” On one hand Danish's happiness had no boundaries, on the other hand Fayra was in chaos, she looked at Danish and stood up from her place as if already waiting for him. 

“They are talking about our marriage…” he excited announcement lost its identity in front of Fayra's next question. 

“I wanna know something.” She was serious, unlike usual. 

“Yes?”

“Was Arsh correct or not…” Danish's mood was spoiled after hearing this name, he didn't let her complete the sentence. 

“Har baat mein Arsh beech me kaha se aa jata hai Fayra?” For the first time he was so frustrated. 

(Why every time Arsh comes in between, Fayra?)

“Aaj main yahi to jaan’na chhati hu ki beech me kon aa gya.” Her shaky voice full of emotions and eyes full of tears. 

(Today I wanna know who exactly came inbetween…)

Danish's frustration converted into uneasiness after seeing tears in her eyes, “Fayra.” Taking a step ahead he cupped her face, “I love you, can't you forget your past and think about our future?” He asked in a hushed tone but this Fayra was someone else, her eyes told him something that he never heard before. 

“Danish…” Fayra muttered holding his hands in her hands, he was still cupping her face. 

“Ji meri pyari princess.” He tried to smile but just expressed his love in a new form, however Fayra was not ready for this yet. She jerked his hands away and turned towards the bed, Danish didn't notice what was resting on the pillow.

(Yes, my dear lovely princess?)

“What’s this?” Holding a diary she asked. He was shocked to see his diary in her hands. 

“Where did you get it?” Danish asked and tried to grab it immediately but he was too late for this task. 

 “Aapne mere sath dhoka kara hai, aapne apni feelings ki wajah se mere aur Arsh ke beech me diffences create kre… Arsh was correct. Wo hamesha kehta tha ki aapki wajah se hum me ladayi hoti hai lekin mujhe trust nhi hota tha, aaj samajh aaya wo theek tha main nhi samajh payi.” Each and every word worked like a dagger which wounded Danish's heart. He was here to confess his love, to let her know how important she was for him but got some unexpected things in return. 

(You have cheated me, because of your feelings and desires you had created differences between me and Arsh… Arsh was correct. He always used to say that you're the reason behind most of our disputes but I did not trust him, today I understood that he was right.)

Before Danish could defend himself one more thing suddenly clicked Fayra… “Wait a minute…” she furrowed, today she was putting two and two together unfortunately her aftermath was based on the formula given by Arsh. She wasn't using her brain but his formula which was enough to declare Danish a culprit. 

“Meri aur Arsh ki shadi rukwane mein bhi aapka hi hath tha na? Aapne dad se kuch kaha tha jiske baad unhone Arsh se meri shadi karne ko mana kara tha?” 

(You were responsible for calling off my and Arsh’s wedding, right? Did you convince dad to take that decision?)

“Fayra tum mujh par shak kar rhi ho?” 

(Fayra, are you doubting me?)

“Nhi… shak nhi kr rhi.” She muttered, tears rolled down from her eyes, face turned red as she was controlling herself to break down in front of this man. Turning towards the bed she picked the bundle of photos which was resting under her pillow and…

(No, I'm not doubting.)

“Ye sab kya hai?” throwing the pics on Danish's face Fayra asked loudly. He didn't know how to react. Till a few minutes ago he was daydreaming of a life in which this girl will be at his side at every moment but the reality was opposite to that beautiful dreamland. 

(What are all these things?)

“Fayra…” he tried to utter her name but couldn't, he was heartbroken one more time, but today, not only circumstances but his favourite person was behind it. 

“Main shak nhi kar rhi main to yaqeen se keh rhi hu ki aapne hi ye sab kra hai. Sharam nhi aayi aapko? Aapne mere bholepan aur bharose ka galat fayda uthaya, mene aap par kitna trust kra aur aapne kya kra mere sath? Aap bohot bure hain…” 

(I'm not doubting, I'm sure that you're behind all these things. Didn't you feel ashamed? You took advantage of my innocence and my blind trust in you. You… You're cruel.)

He had no word to defend himself, Fayra already said more than needed, he kept watching this girl for whom he had cried in silence, for him he killed his wishes, for whom he forgot his rules.

Did he really deserve this in return? 

<><><>

“Fayra~” a loud call grabbed her attention, she was busy with her tab, watching her old pics. Pics with Arsh. The broken engagement and the called off wedding suddenly hurt her too much. “Faruu~” 

“Coming…” she yelled but grimaced while throwing the tab on the pillow. Wiping her tears she composed herself and walked downstairs where her father was calling her. 

“Come here, you're behaving like a stranger.” Opening his arm he muttered, today Adnaan was seeing his daughter like the little girl who he used to pick in his arms. Fayra looked at the man who was her safe place. Her anger, her tantrums, her love or her demands were reserved for two men of her life, Adnaan and Danish. And today after having a conflict with Danish she was left with only one. Adnaan. Her beloved father. 

Sitting beside him she hugged him just like childhood, head resting on his chest and eyes closed tightly. 

“Kya hua Fayra? Koi preshani hai kya?” 

(What happened, Fayra? Is something bothering you?)

“Papa.” 

“Yeah beta?” Pushing her messy hair away from her face Adnaan saw her keenly, she wasn't that chirping girl who was the Jaan (life) of Rizwi Mansion, she was a silent person who was hiding too much inside her. 

“Fayra, what's bothering you beta? Tell me.” Adnaan tried his best but this girl had never shared her feelings with anyone else besides Danish and today he was responsible for this condition, well… in reality he was not! 

“Kya hua bohot pyaar aa rha hai abba par, ye to shuru se hi tumhari chamchi hai.” Sara entered the room with a few boxes of jewellery present in her hands and sat down beside her husband. 

(What happened, why this sudden adoration? She has been your supporter ever since.)

“Are you upset because of this marriage?” Asked Adnaan, somewhere he could feel so. Fayra looked up, unknown about the elders' plan. 

“Marriage? Whose marriage?” She muttered

“Not marriage, I mean farewell. Your farewell.” Adnaan whispered, holding her chin between his thumb and index finger.

“What?” she shifted aback.

“Bas kro ye acting jese tumhe kuch pta bhi nhi hai, hum sab ne dekha tha Danish kese tumhare room ki taraf bhaga tha ye news dene k liye.” Sara smiled but Fayra was unaware about all these things. 

(Now don't behave like you don't know anything, we all have seen how crazily Danish ran to you to pass this news.)

“Don't you really know?” Adnaan asked but Fayra was clueless, “We're planning your farewell, next month. Fine na?” Adnaan blasted a bomb on her head without even knowing it.

“See this, how is this looking on you?” Opening a jewellery box Sara passed a necklace to Fayra but she was not interested in all these things, she was hating Danish.   

“Fayra?” 

“I… I need some time… I'm not ready for this farewell and all…” she stood up and walked back to her room leaving her parents shocked. 

“What happened to her?” Sara asked as if Adnaan knew the reason. 

<><><>

Two more days passed in between silent struggles, Sara tried her best to know the reason behind Fayra's refusal but got nothing other than silence. Anzala and Maizah were noticing something uneasy between Fayra and Danish. They both were avoiding each other like strangers. Adnaan and Sara were also tensed, they didn't know how to break the news in front of Danish's parents that Fayra wasn't ready for this farewell. 

“Danish.” Maizah entered into his room, he looked up, busy on a phone call he gestured her to give him 5 minutes. 

“Yeah, I've already submitted the required documents,” he said and Maizah furrowed. 

“Okay, thanks.” Danish muttered and after one more minute he ended the call.

“Kis baat ke documents diye jaa rhe hain?” Maizah asked while standing up from the sofa, she looked at the boy who was looking all grown up. In only a few moments she saw a flashback of that small boy who used to kiss her cheeks every next moment while sitting in her lap. Danish kept watching his mother for a long moment, maybe he was remembering the same time.

(Submitting documents? But for what?)

“I'll miss you.” Taking a step ahead he hugged his mother. Maizah furrowed but hugged him back. 

“Miss me? But why?” 

“I'm going,”

“Where?” She broke the hug. 

“UAE,” 

“Danish?” She was shocked. 

“Yeah Momma, I got my Visa, let me chase my dreams.” He smiled but Maizah was sure he was hiding too much behind this. 

“When are you going?” 

“Day after tomorrow.”

“Danish are you out of your mind? All of a sudden? And what about your marriage? We already talked to Adnaan and Sara for farewell. Now you can't back off like this.” 

“I’m not backing off, this farewell can wait, Fayra is not going anywhere… some more time won't harm.” he shrugged as if there was nothing serious but Maizah furrowed.

“For how long are you going?” 

“I don't know.”

“When will you return?” She repeated the question but in a different way. 

“I don't know.”

“Have you talked to Anzala?” 

“Not yet. You're the first whom I'm telling you." His voice was dull, almost unhearable. 

“Danish, what is the need of going? Stay here, we need you. We don't have anyone other than you. Bisma is already far away from us, now you don't go.”

“Mumma please don't stop me, you have everyone here.” 

“Is this something related to Fayra?” Danish's dull face lost the last ounce of colour. How could he forget he was standing in front of his mother. The one who understands her child even before birth. 

“No.”

“Danish, tell me the truth…” 

“The truth is… that I want to chase my dreams so I have to go at every cost.” Maizah had no words to say in reply. How can a mother alter the decision of her overgrown child? 

<><><>

Till a few days ago there was happiness everywhere but now there was nothing but a wave of sadness. The plan of farewell suddenly turned into farewell to Danish. Maizah was crying seeing her son ready with suitcases, Anzala was trying his last few attempts to stop him, all the other members of the family were also sad except one. Of course Fayra. 

Standing at a distance while she was watching the scene, Danish was all ready to leave. She didn't know how badly he wanted her to bid a good bye but she was stubborn like her parents. Not clearing misunderstandings and creating complications for herself was her inherited trait. 

“I.. I'm coming back in two minutes.” Danish muttered, for a moment Maizah got a hope that he might change his plan but he already had rigid plans. Leaving the luggage on the doorway only she walked towards the sofa where Fayra was standing. Unexpectedly, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the nearest room. Everyone was amazed at the courage when the door was locked from inside. 

“Tumhe sach mein lagta hai main tumhare aur Arsh ke beech mein aa gya tha?” She kept watching his face, he waited for an answer but never got one. Sometimes silence is the biggest answer. 

(Do you really think I have come in between you and Arsh?)

“Jab aadha sach jaan chuki ho to pura bhi jaan lo…” he took a pause, urging in silence for her to look up, and she actually did so. 

(If you already know the truth then know it completely.)

“Bohot Chhota tha jab Nani Jaan ne kaha tha tumhari shadi mujhse karayi jayegi, main us din ka intezar karne laga lekin wo din kabhi nhi aaya Fayra… haan Arsh zarur aa gya tha tumhari zindagi mein. Koi soch bhi nhi sakta har pal kitni baar marta tha main tumhe uske sath dekh ke, tumhe uske baare me baat karta dekh ke lekin maine khud ko mana liya tha, kyuki mere liye tum aur tumhari Khushi sabse zyada important thi, maine soch liye tha tum uske sath khush ho to aese hi sahi, maine to hamesha sirf tumhari hi khushi chahi thi… lekin waqt ke sath sath mujhe Arsh bura lagne laga, wo jitna achha khud ko dikha rha tha utna achha wo kabhi tha hi nhi. Tumhe samjhana asaan nhi tha, tumne uske pyaar mein pagal ho ke mujhse baat karna bhi band kar diya tha lekin main kese nazarandaz kar deta jab wo tumhe ek anjaan jagah akela chhod ke aa gya tha? Main kese bardasht kar leta jab wo tumhe milne ke liye aesi jagah bulata jaha hamare ghar ki koi bhi ladki jana pasand na kre… main kese bardasht kar leta jab wo shadi se pehle hi tumhare qareeb aane ki koshish kre? Fayra main ye sab kisi haal bardasht nhi kar sakta tha, aur agar ye sab bhi bardasht kar leta to kese ek aese insan ke sath tumhari shadi hone dete hum sab jo apni hi shadi wale din sharab pi ke aa gya tha? Agar us se tumhari shadi ho jaati to kya bharosa tha ki wo sharab pi ke tum par hath utha deta? Ya sharah ke nashe me kisi aur ladki ke sath…” Danish stopped here only, his emotions converted into anger, he didn't even want to say those dirty things that Arsh could do but telling Fayra all the possibilities was the need of the hour, only if it worked!

(I was too young when Nani jaan said you'll be married to me, I waited for that day Fayra but it never came… however Arsh came to your life. No one can even imagine how many times I died to see you talking to him, talking about him, but somehow I gave up on you, because your happiness was my priority, either with me or with him, you should be happy. I wanted your happiness, nothing else but with passing time I started disliking Arsh, he was much worse than what he presented himself. It was impossible to show his real face to you, blind in his love you even stopped talking to me, but how could I tolerate when he left you alone at an unknown place? How could I ignore when he called you to meet in a club, a place where none of our family girls would ever go! How could I tolerate when he tried to be intimate with you before marriage? Fayra I could never tolerate all these things. Even if I had ignored all those things, how could I neglect the scene when he came drunk at his own wedding? If you were to get married to him what was the guarantee that he would never do violence while he was drunk? Or he would never knock any other girls up while drunk?) 

“We are all your well wishers, Fayra, including me.” He again took a pause, waiting for her to say something but she was as silent as a dummy. 

“Main tumhe kabhi koi takleef nhi dena chahta tha, to ab…” this time his voice broke down. “Ab main tumhari zindagi mein kabhi wapas nhi aaunga… tumhe kabhi koi takleef dunga… lekin…” he again paused. An ashamed tear rolled down from his eyes. Fayra was surprised. His hands cupped her face tightly. Fingers tangled with messy curls. 

(I didn't want to hurt you… so now…)

(I won't come to your life again… but)

“But I love you Fayra. Yes darling, I love you.” and his lips landed on her forehead giving chills to both of them. “I'll always love you.” Removing his lips from her forehead he whispered looking in her eyes. His eyes flew two more tears that he wiped very soon. Her eyes filled with tears that made the handsome face blurry. 

“Take care, don't eat too much pizza and burger.” And he was gone leaving her in tears. All the elders were amazed to witness his wet eyes but he successfully hid his emotions, he didn't dare to look aback to the door of the room from where Fayra was coming out while wiping her tears. If he waited some more minutes maybe she would gather some words to say something or at least to put some more blame on him but he left her with guilt. 

Guilt of separating Danish from his parents. 

Guilt of never knowing his feelings for her. 

Guilt of making him cry, making him leave his home, his country behind. 

<><><>

Long wait…

But a long chapter.

Feedback dedo plz 🫠

_N. Jamal